Sounds kind of weird, but it’s true.  I took it for granted for the longest time, thinking all parents must think like this.  – Knowing what types of things they’d like their children to experience or learn before they leave the nest… not in a day by day planned activity book (because that IS kind of crazy… or will make you crazy when you try to make it all unfold so perfectly!), but in a very general sort of way.

Until recently, we didn’t have it on paper… but, then began thinking… we make goal sheets at work, lists of things to do, things to get at the grocery… why don’t we do this with parenting?  –One of our biggest and best “jobs?”  Why not?

So, we put it to paper… and, because I’ve been encouraged to share it, here it is!

The Most Important Things

First, we sat down and wrote a list of the things most important to us – things we hoped our children would have or become…

1.  Relationship with God/Jesus

- Know and be able to show mercy, forgiveness, and love

- God-seeking hearts

2.  Values

3.  Ability to take care of themselves (hygiene, chores, money, cook, reliable, don’t give up easily, cars, and a little knowledge on hair/fashion)

4.  Ability to keep a job

5.  Have good professional and interpersonal skills

6.  Know what being a good (biblical) husband or wife looks like (i.e., setting good examples for our children in these roles)

The Disclaimer

This is where I tell you that we don’t have it down perfectly.  The part where i tell you they are GOALS, not ACHIEVEMENTS.  It’s that piece of paper that helps tell you how to get where you want to go on the days where you don’t know anymore because you’ve not gotten enough sleep… or, after a REALLY hard day when all 3 children needed you (and on you) all at once… all day… OR BOTH!  It’s the map for this wonderful adventure, helping us stay on course and discern what matters and what doesn’t.  It’s for that.

Breaking It Down

To reach the main goals (above), we came up with a broken up list of age-appropriate things we hope to teach our children at specific stages.

3 Years

• dust
• dress self
• use toilet independently
• beginning to brush teeth by self
• pick up toys
• say prayers
• clean glass tables
• dry dishes
• put clothes in washer

4 Years

• brush teeth
• make bed
• get own breakfast (cereal, bananas, granola bars)
• make sandwiches
• begin to clean room by self
• dust
• everything 3 yo can do

5 Years

• straighten room
• sweep
• vacuum
• empty small garbage cans (bathrooms)
• set table
• clear table
• make own lunch (sandwiches)
• get allowance
• clean sink
• wash and fold laundry
• dust
• beginning understanding of interest and savings

6 Years

• take shower by self
• dust
• load dishwasher (or, rinse dishes)
• empty dishwasher
• wash dishes (6.5 ish)
• use microwave (late 6)
• water plants
• make and answer phone calls
• sweep
• clean sink and toilet (their bathroom)
• gets savings account

7 Years

• wash dishes
• floss by self
• clean toilets
• pull weeds
• use/have savings acct
• read with comprehension
• memorize phone number and address
• do own hair
• begin piano lessons (?)
• use play money to show our bills vs. budget/incoming money (good stewardship)

8 Years

• groom nails/hair
• get up by self
• participate in teams/clubs
• develop personal talents
• clean mirrors
• baptized (? – this is when we’ll start exploring it.  It happens when THEY are ready, though)
• get into the practice of reading scriptures daily
• learn care for a pet
• buy stock/CD/investment for part of their Christmas and allow them to track it

9 Years

• mop floor
• clean pictures
• bake cakes/cookies
• understand emergency preparedness
• learn basic first aid
• fill car with gas
• wash car
• vacuum car interior
• hammer nails
• sew on buttons
• saw wood (supervision!!)
• cook veggies
• write letters
• understand puberty/sex (sigh)
• email
• wrap presents

10 Years

• do own laundry completely
• set personal goals
• play musical instrument
• maintain personal journal
• participate in exercise program
• rent videos
• clean stove/oven
• make several kids of salad
• understand basic nutrition
• use leaf blower
• write creatively

11 Years

• Arrange for own haircuts (ability to set appts)
• help clean refrigerator
• clean cupboards
• straighten drawers
• straighten closets
• sew hems
• bake pies
• bake bread
• make several main dishes
• iron own clothes
• plan meals
• mow lawn
• weed eat
• maintain garden
• use a camera
• crochet/knit
• babysitting class
• first aid training
• use internet with filters (not with us right behind them)

And… the list goes on… all the way up to 17… with extra notes on teaching them more about money.  This, by the way, is NOT their chore list.  These are things we hope to teach them how to do.  Not, “here’s a broom, now sweep” but standing with them, gently guiding and showing step by step how to do these things.  And, then practicing and practicing and practicing with them.  Chores is a totally different post… and way less bullet points   These are simply some of the things we want to make sure we don’t forget to teach our children how to do… like, really… purposefully… teach them.  It’s SO easy to just tell them to move and do it ourselves… but such a disservice to them!

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!

Does your family have a “plan” of any sorts for parenting?  I’d love to hear about it!  How do you stay on track?

At first, we weren’t sure if it meant anything, or if it was our own brains trying to do more, help more, love more.  And, still it came.

TWO.

“Two what, God?”

TWO.

So, we prayed for clarity.  We prayed for wisdom.  And, we waited.

We assumed it might mean that we’d get twins… so, we opened up our parameters some more.

Our referral came and we were joyous… but confused.  We KNEW he was meant for us… there were so many tiny details.

His sweet little brown eyes above a little girl’s light blue mermaid shirt (our eldest daughter’s FAVORITE princess)… and his age was even documented as right at hers, as well.

And the peace and knowing that came… that surpassed all understanding… God speaking to each of our hearts…

And yet, we still heard: TWO.

With a referral in hand, the likelihood of TWO seemed … distant.

We prayed, talked to our agency, cried, prayed more, searched our own motives, and prayed even more.

We felt so pulled and yet… there’s some kind of crazy love for God that makes people do things that don’t make sense on paper… because he did that and more for us…

Things like… beginning an adoption with not enough money to finish it.

And… beginning another adoption without knowing where the funds would come from to finish the first AND the second.

So, we prayed more.

And still, we heard : TWO!!!

Our hearts pushed forward and we asked for an explicit flashy-light-bilboard sign.  We asked for a BIG sign, something we knew couldn’t just be us seeing it the way we wanted to.

We had 10 K left to go on our first adoption and our fundraising was flopping.  – It was as if God was showing us that anything WE did wasn’t going to work well because He wanted this to glorify HIM.

So, we prayed that he’d finish funding our adoption… and if he wanted us to go again, that he’d show us… by giving us well BEYOND what we needed for the first adoption…

We prayed fervently, and we let it rest in His hands.

He began to move mountains and do mighty, mighty things.

And, he answered that prayer.

TWO.

So, in faith, we have already officially stepped out for TWO.

We’re praying for direction and clarity as He reveals what exactly that will look like.  We believe it’s a child under the age of 2 (although even that may change… just like it did with Isaiah)…some minor/correctable SN okay.  Either gender.

We don’t know what their face looks like.  We know nothing.  We’re waiting for God to guide our footsteps.

All we know is.  NOW.

We’ve applied to adopt another child (or twins!!) — It’s exciting to see if God will use this door or another to bring us his “TWO” — Whatever that means.  Two children (twins)… or, very young siblings… or, second… who knows!!

But, we now have a waiting “number” – as this number goes down, we’ll get closer to a referral.  (Generally, when it gets to 1, it means you are on the top of the list and you get a child matched to you).

Ready for our number?  *Drumroll!*

We are so so excited as this journey continues!  We pray to meet Isaiah so very soon and we look forward to seeing what else God has up His Mighty sleeves!

(For those of you wondering… this will not happen in the same trips we go on for Isaiah… well, unless God moved major mountains… But on paper, it’s impossible since we don’t have a referral yet).

Great question!  Or, questions… actually, this is like 3 different topics, so let me break out the bullets and boldness…

Socialization

Socialization is, by definition,

Will homeschooled children be socially awkward?  –This is one of my favorite questions EVER!  It makes me think of kids pulling each others’ fingers, making fart jokes, blowing bubbles in their juice, and being gross or throwing fits when they don’t get their way.

Know any kids like that?  (I know a few adults…but they weren’t homeschooled)

Are they all homeschooled?

See, the truth of the matter is this… everyone has a different perception of what “socially awkward” entails.  The exuberant loud person might think the quiet modest bookworm is awkward.  Or, vice versa.  And quite frankly, we all have moments of weirdness…

Like assuming a woman is pregnant…

Saying the wrong thing… (or the right thing in the wrong way)

Or that moment where you are just so exhausted or caught off guard…

There are tons of moments … some we don’t even realize!

But, I get what you are saying.  Kids DO need to learn to share, love, be compassionate, learn teamwork, learn to play with others, collaborate and experiment with others.  There’s a lot to be said for children to be around both other kids AND those older than them.

Opportunities To Interact

There are LOTS of creative ways that you can inspire interaction with others…

• Playdates – Our children have friends in public and private (and home) schools.  We have playdates!
• Church!
• homeschool co-op or homeschool support groups
• Sports… nothing like learning teamwork… on a team!
• Clubs – Girl scouts, boy scouts, american girl, lego club, etc.  Not something already in your town?  Create it!
• Head to the zoo, playground, museum, etc and let your child PLAY!
• Camps!
• Friends’ kids
• Classes – You can put your kid in martial arts, art class, gymnastics, music, theatre
• Family (brothers, sisters, cousins, etc)
• Neighborhood kids
• Throw a party!!  It’s not their birthday?  Who cares!  Grab some side walk chalk or sprinklers (or both!) and let them go crazy… outside, obviously.

What are your thoughts on “socialization” or “interaction” and do you do anything to encourage it?

For Pre-K, there are two books that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!

This one:

(Tip:  Buy it used on Amazon… HERE)

and… This one:

You can get it HERE.

The first book is plenty, but the science book is SO SO fun!  Praying mantis habitats and lots of other REALLY cool stuff in it!!  I think I had as much fun as they did!!

Kindergarten

For Kindergarten, we used:

My Father’s World – Grade K AND 1/2 of 1st Grade (deluxe sets) — bought off site

Complete Book of Math for Grades 1-2 (came with my MFW deluxe set)

Hooked on Phonics for K and 1st Grade – K, off site.  1st — bought used locally

We REALLY REALLY REALLY enjoyed all of these this past year.  La did phenomenal!  She’s a SUPER fast learner and just wanted MORE MORE MORE!

MFW is pretty hands-on, which is great for our family.  We are a VERY hands-on/learn by experiencing type of family.  All of us (so far).  It’s just so fun and there’s so much adventure!  La reads and retains as well, but enjoys hand-on stuff mixed in.

1st Grade

That brings us to first grade, where we are now.

I will probably never be one of those fans of just ONE curriculum.  As I learn and experience more, my eyes are opened to new possibilities and adventure… and, hey… I like exploring… even curriculum.

I had assumed I’d just continue on with MFW (we’re covering most of what’s left of the 1st grade curriculum this summer) to their 2nd grade level.  But, as I read more and more, I’m not sure anymore.

I had heard awesome things about sonlight… and I’d jump at the opportunity to try it, if it wasn’t $800 for the core set for JUST ONE GRADE.  But, it is.  Their reading list has lots of fun books — although, I’ve read that they teach more with a world view (compared to biblical)… which is not really something I’m wanting at this point.  And, less hands-on.

Then, there’s KONOS and MFW.  OY.  I love that MFW is very pick up and go… GREAT for mom’s with babies, by the way.  But, it can feel a little “light” and “repetitive” (I’ve heard) for 2nd grade.  KONOS seems awesome but it laid out much differently and… well… I’m not sure.  Plus, more planning!  I think I’m wanting a mix between the two.  So, my choices (as I see them with the curriculum i know about) are… choose one… or, choose both/integrate them.

So, what I’m thinking (so far) is:

- Go through the MFW, KONOS, and Sonlight reading selections and choose those that go over what I want our kids to learn this year.
- Use something in-between KONOS and MFW-2nd for our curriculum… somehow integrate them?  Use both?

It’s still summer, so I’m thinking I’ll have enough time to scrap and rewrite plans to see which we like best.

What are you using for homeschool this year?

Boogie Wipes has a cool campaign going on for the month of MAY called the Save the Sleeve Pledge!

In the month of May, Take The Pledge for a chance to win a Save the Sleeve kit! They will select 1,000 winners at random to receive a kit packed with Boogie Wipes temporary tattoos, a backpack button, Boogie Wipes samples, and coupons.

On their website, your child can take the “pledge”.  Packed with fun informational tidbits, humor, and great graphics, your child will learn about germs, washing hands, what different “boogers” mean (color, etc), and more!!!  It’s fun, quick, and great for kids!

Go do it and win yourself a free Save the Sleeve Kit!!

As we wait for our PH (Preliminary Hearing) Date (this is where a parent – if known – or an authority who signed off if abandoned comes before the judge), I thought it’d be nice to write about life for a bit!

My little “princess” La is now a big 6 year old   Her favorite colors are still purple and red and she’s mid-1st Grade in all subjects except Reading (she’s beginning 2nd grade level for reading).  She is my big helper.  She loves to help out and is great helping mommy with her siblings.  She loves princesses still and enjoys arts and crafts, reading, writing, drawing, building with blocks, playing dress up, etc.  This one… she’s my fashionista.  She is great at coordinating outfits, shoes, accessories, and is very verbal on how she wants her hair fixed   She (along with her sister) have become quite the entrepreneurs, looking for ways to earn ice cream/fun money!  Out of all 3, I think her personality is most similar to mine… which can be interesting!  Ha!  Plus, she over-talks… like me.  Sigh.  She’s sensitive and oh-so-smart!  Love this kid!  Funny words:  Pea-hawk (Peacock)  Her biggest fear?: Having to shave someday and “having to have babies someday because it will hurt” — Thanks to whomever introduced that one

(No, we did NOT get a new dog.)
Ro is…. our clown.  While her sister is dressing up in the most elaborate princess dresses, Ro is finding the craziest pieces to complete her wardrobe.  She’s fun and crazy and goofy.  This is the child who finds the loopholes.  A few weeks ago, we asked her, “If we put a cake in front of you but told you not to touch it to eat it, what would you do?”  Her response?  “I’d eat it with my FACE!”  Who needs to touch a cake to eat it?  She loves to help out, too… when she has time for it She’s in Kindergarten and really likes Dora, Diego, trains, and hedgehogs.  She loves babies and building with blocks, arts and crafts, and miniature things.

AJ…
AJ is Steven’s mini-me.  Stubborn, goofy, and sweet.  He’s daddy’s little shadow and unlike the girls, he reaches for daddy (if he’s home) when he doesn’t feel good!  He is conservative with his kisses but gives hugs freely every morning and afternoon.  He likes trains, ninja turtles, elmo, PUPPIES!, trucks, his ukelele, blocks, and his sisters’ shoes.

(He can put them on himself.  I’m thinking that we need to get some awesome ninja turtle boy-toms that are bling bling… for BOYS to help satisfy his craving for over the top shoes!  For those of you who remember.. he’s always LOVED shoes since he was tiny… he used to collect them and wear them on his hands!)