Boss Sanders

As you know, I have my lovely dining room set up for sale. I also put it on Craigslist. And - within a few hours, I had an offer. From a sweet lady in Colorado. She offered me the full price (didn’t even try to negotiate) and said the pictures were enough. Okay. I did take a lot of pictures - and, I am aware that this set could potentially be worth more than what I’m asking - if that’s your thing. She offered to send a CERTIFIED CASHIER’S CHECK if I’d reserve the set for her. A flag went up in my head. But, what do I have to lose so long as I don’t cash the check yet? Craigslist is FREE.

So, I obliged, just to see what would happen.

Her grammar kind of sucked, but I try to be a non-judging person. OBVIOUSLY, not everyone who is in America has perfect English - even those that were born and raised here. And, I happen to know some folks that can’t spell worth a crap…and they AREN’T trying to screw with me. So, I looked over it, while mentally taking note.

And, then…I decided I’d just put my listing back up on Craigslist. I’d offer to the girl that I could take cash, debit, credit, or paypal or “she” could move on. Within a few minutes, I had emails from the same “Kelly Joe” about the dining room set. Only, they didn’t realize they were emailing me again.

Apparently this chick/dude failed Scam Artist school. I am seriously thinking about writing a Scammer’s book and having a class and making people pay outrageous amounts of cash for it.

So, Kelly Joe. This is for you - my tips for you to be a better scammer:

1. Lies take more lies to cover up. Decide who you are going to be and write it down in a notebook. You can’t be Kelly one minute and Kelly’s husband the next. If Kelly’s husband was trying to buy Kelly the dining room set, why would Kelly have sent me the first 4 emails? You really need to decide who you are going to be. At least make this scamming worth my time.

2. You would probably do better trying to make deals with stupid people. And you might waste less of your precious scamming time if you picked your targets a bit better. You wasted a good amount of time as I ridiculed you (while you were apparently oblivious).

3. Making people feel bad for you because you are scamming them…is not logical…and it doesn’t work.

4. Americans don’t trust people who travel to India to have surgeries.

5. Learn how to “avoid” questions better. You pretty much sucked. Again, wrong target. I’m awesome at not getting totally off track and I’m awesome at the avoidance game. Pick somebody with comparable intellect to target - which means, you may want to start checking out Preschools.

6. If you’re going to send emails, do your research. Check Craigslist for the scammer section and try to change your emails up a bit more. When sections of your email reads word for word almost - that’s a pretty huge red flag.

7. Learn to spell. Learn to talk. And, oh yeh. Get a real job.

Here’s the complete chat for your reading entertainment:  (*I am “me”)

0:29 AM kelly: Hi

10:30 AM i want to know if u have received the check ?

10:31 AM me: No

  I can accept credit cards, could you pay by that instead?

10:32 AM You there?

10:34 AM kelly: no

  that is the only means

10:35 AM if you have not received the check,then you will be getting it on monday

  get it cashed

10:36 AM and send the excess to my mover

  ok?

 me: Yeh, I’m not doing that

10:37 AM kelly: i really need the cabinet

 me: Then, pay with debit or credit card

  I really need to not be scammed

 kelly: am scamming you

10:38 AM me: I know

  Or, you try.

10:40 AM Look. If you aren’t scamming me, then why not pay with debit or credit card?

10:41 AM kelly: am not in usa

  am in india

  for a erysurg

  surgery

10:42 AM people have spoil the net

  that is the main reason

 me: Oh, gotcha. Last week, you lived in colorado. Now, you are in India. For a surgery.

 kelly: i dont blame you

 me: Makes TOTAL sense.

 kelly: am always travelling

 me: for surgeries?

 kelly: that is the nature of my job

10:43 AM am based in colorado

 me: I bet. If I were scamming good folks, I’d be traveling a lot too

 kelly: i think you also travel

  really

10:44 AM me: Where do you think I travel to?

 kelly: anywhere

 me: Einstein has nothing on you.

10:45 AM kelly: bye

 me: When will your mover be here?

10:46 AM Can he be here tomorrow?

  I REALLY need this set to be out of here

 kelly: once he receives the excess funds

 me: Well, since he’ll be coming here anyways, I’ll give him the funds when he gets here

10:47 AM Plus a little extra

 kelly: HE WILL BE NEEDING IT FOR OFFSETTING THE COST OF SHIPMENT

  HE WILL BE NEEDING IT FOR OFFSETTING THE COST OF SHIPMENT

  AND HE DOSENT HAVE IT,HIS NOT COMING

  AND HE DOSENT HAVE IT,HIS NOT COMING

10:48 AM me: No need to yell.

  No need to yell.

 kelly: THATS ACCORDING TO OUR AGREEMENT

  THATS ACCORDING TO OUR AGREEMENT

 me: It doesn’t make you sound smarter.

  It doesn’t make you sound smarter.

  No, that was not our agreement.

  No, that was not our agreement.

 kelly: AM NOT TRYING TO

  AM NOT TRYING TO

  B SMART

  B SMART

 me: Dude. Stop using all CAPS.

  Dude. Stop using all CAPS.

 kelly: HONESTLY SPEAKING

  HONESTLY SPEAKING

 me: It’s rude. Didn’t your mother ever teach you that?

  It’s rude. Didn’t your mother ever teach you that?

10:49 AM Okay, so where should I send this check?

  Okay, so where should I send this check?

10:50 AM kelly: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT MY MOM

  WHY DO YOU HAVE TO INSULT MY MOM

  FUCKOFF

  FUCKOFF

10:51 AM me: How was I insulting your mom?

  How was I insulting your mom?

 kelly: MY MOM IS NOT INVOLVE IN THIS

  MY MOM IS NOT INVOLVE IN THIS

 me: I just asked you to not be rude and yell (by using all CAPS)

  I just asked you to not be rude and yell (by using all CAPS)

10:52 AM Obviously.

  Obviously.

 kelly: YOU TAKING THIS TOO FAR

  YOU TAKING THIS TOO FAR

 me: Because I don’t want you to yell at me?

  Because I don’t want you to yell at me?

 kelly: WHY CANT YOU TRUST ME

  WHY CANT YOU TRUST ME

 me: Or because I need an address

  Or because I need an address

10:53 AM kelly: THIS IS NET,WE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

  THIS IS NET,WE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

  HAVE ALSO BEEN SCAMMED SEVERAL TIMES

  HAVE ALSO BEEN SCAMMED SEVERAL TIMES

 me: I bet.

  I bet.

  On both accounts.

  On both accounts.

  Truly.

  Truly.

 kelly: BUT LIFE HAS TO CONTINUE

  BUT LIFE HAS TO CONTINUE

 me: It most certainly does! Richer no doubt.

  It most certainly does! Richer no doubt.

10:54 AM So, where should I send the extra money?

  So, where should I send the extra money?

 kelly: I WILL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM MY MOVER

  I WILL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU AS SOON AS I HEAR FROM MY MOVER

10:55 AM I WILL SEND IT TO YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS

  I WILL SEND IT TO YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS

 me: Okay, well, I’ll be leaving soon and won’t have access to email.

  Okay, well, I’ll be leaving soon and won’t have access to email.

 kelly: OKAY

  OKAY

 me: So, as soon as I get the check, I’m going to need an address so I can make one stop into town

  So, as soon as I get the check, I’m going to need an address so I can make one stop into town

10:56 AM kelly: CAN I COUNT ON YOU

  CAN I COUNT ON YOU

  ?

  ?

  BECAUSE AM GETTING IT FOR MY WIFE

  BECAUSE AM GETTING IT FOR MY WIFE

 me: I’m leaving tonight to go out of the country. I really need the address quickly.

  I’m leaving tonight to go out of the country. I really need the address quickly.

  Sure, what does your wife do for a living?

  Sure, what does your wife do for a living?

10:57 AM kelly: MY WIFE Kelly

  MY WIFE Kelly

 me: Oh, so you aren’t kelly?

  Oh, so you aren’t kelly?

  You signed the emails as Kelly.

  You signed the emails as Kelly.

  Dang. I’m sad. I was hoping I was talking to a Kelly.

  Dang. I’m sad. I was hoping I was talking to a Kelly.

10:58 AM Wait. You mean you aren’t Kelly?

  Wait. You mean you aren’t Kelly?

  I love buncombe! This is fun. We should do it often.

 kelly: this is my wife’s email

10:59 AM we have access to each others mail

  it’s trust

  because am getting itfor her

 me: I bet! mpd is hard.

 kelly: what do u mean

11:00 AM are u male or female

 me: Depends on the day mostly.

  Like you, I’m guessing.

  So, where ar eyou having this set delivered?

11:01 AM Hong Kong?

 kelly: colorado

 me: Oh, well heck. I’ll be passing through Colorado when I get back from Peru Wednesday. I’ll just drop it off!

11:02 AM Brilliant!

 kelly: i think i have to go

 me: This will be perfect!

  I bet. Can I speak to John next?

 kelly: i dont like the way you are talking to me

 me: Or, Elvis?

  I really want to talk to Elvis

  Don’t be a ninny.

11:03 AM Didn’t they teach you that in scam artist school? Not to be sensitive? No wonder why you failed!

 kelly: i think its a sin telling you the truth

11:04 AM me: Right. Reverse Psych doesn’t work on me. I’m a psych major.

  Well one of me is.

 kelly: take care and bye

11:05 AM me: toodle doo

 kelly: ok

  bye

11:06 AM me: Sorry, I didn’t feel like being bescumbered! Maybe next time?

  Actually no. Not ever.

  You’ve just been blogged.

11:07 AM kelly: ok

11:08 AM really!

11:09 AM me: really what?

11:10 AM kelly: takecare

  i have to go

  talk to u later

 me: okay bye.

11:11 AM See you Wednesday.

 kelly: i will send my mover’s info to you by mail

  ok?

A couple of weeks ago, I found this cool-looking tutorial on how to make a bikini out of a tshirt! Sa-weet! But, then I started thinking. Wait.

Wet T-shirt contests. T-shirts. Bikini. Um…

And, then someone told me that it’d be one you’d lay out in. And, of course, you wouldn’t use white. And, it’s doubled.

Okay. I’m in. I have plenty of Steven’s t-shirts that don’t fit (me).

So, today I cowboyed up and decided I’d do it. I confiscated a t-shirt and went to cutting and pinning for the top. A couple of hours later (because I was talking to Jen and then taking care of a hungry bottomless pit-stomach child), I was finished. With just the top.

Turns out. I hate it. Yeh. Go figure. You’d think once someone bombs enough projects, they’d give up, right? Yeh, well not me. I’m stupid smart like that. And, I even did pictures standing up on the chair in my dining room. Because, last time you guys got a little jealous. And, this time…I’m actually covered up. Notice that the kitchen table has nothing kitchen-y on it. A laptop, tshirt shreds, and a sewing machine.

Can you read what my top says? Yes, that’s right: Army National Guard. Darn tootin’.

And now, I’ll tell you the drawbacks of a t-shirt bikini. You’ll flash everyone. Basically, that’s all you need to know. Luckily, we have a lot of trees in our yard so all window views are obstructed.

And, now that I’ve done my part and promoted our armed forces, I’ll let you all get back to reading quality blogs. Go guard.

(PS - I totally think I should win the Nobel Peace Prize for this. That - and the fact that I totally used a bobby pin to thread the bottom “string” through because I don’t have a non-giant safety pin.)

**Tutorial here: http://www.threadbanger.com/thread-heads/episode/THR_20070622 

 When Steven and I first moved into our new home, I was on the lookout for a new dining room set.  I quickly fell in love with this one - and after a few months, realized it was so not the set for me.  No, scratch that.  It’s great for ME, just not a husband who is incredibly clumsy with things like keys matched up with my very Type A personality disorder.  At first, it was me watching the table linens (tablecloth) EVERY meal.  Because as soon as I put it on the table, hubs would get mustard or spaghetti sauce…or drip something on it.  Every. Time.  So, I finally found a a plain white table protector - It’s padded and is white and vinyl on the top.   I figured it’d keep my husband from scratching up my new things…and so it has.

And, now…I need to part with this great (and antique) set.  I’m asking $1600 (OBO).  I’ll even include the stoneware dish set (you will see part of the set in the upcoming pictures).  I’m wanting to find a little table that I can refinish and paint and won’t care if my daughter (or husband) takes a crayon and markers to it.  I need that, or I may just go crazy.

So, here are the pics…

The Buffet.  All of the drawers you see are real and functional.  Very functional.  In fact, there’s so much storage in this little guy, I ran out of plates and such to put in him.  He holds some of my art stuff right now.  (Excuse the hatbox underneath…it’s the dog’s bed…and yes, she has a flannel “mattress”).

Still the Buffet - a little closer for the detail shots.

A chair close up.  Not in love with the fabric?  No biggie. Very easy to switch out (I checked).

The table (shortened) and 4 (out of 6) of the chairs.

Some more detail in the wood.  Underneath, you can see the extra leaf.  It stores under the table and with a simple unlocking gesture and pulling on one end of the table, you can extend the leaf.  Not hard at all (I can do it by myself).

Because you were dying to see the leaf up-close.

China Cabinet.  Drawer (it’s long) and all cabinet doors open and close.

See?  I told you.

This dress turns out to be quite convertible. I can wear it long with the shoulders up for church, scrunch it up for dancing (or clubbing - had we one that was worth going to around here), and wear it draped on one shoulder - or not - or, tuck the sleeves into themselves and it has more of a sleeveless appearance.

Versatile. And made of jersey. It’s like the most comfortable dress, ever. (And, it so does not wrinkle)

Thoughts? Comments?

**Tutorial here:  http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=178828.0 

51.  If you could pick one song as your theme song what would it be and why?  Ha.  Oh gosh.  Well…That’s hard.  I don’t really relate to any one specific song.  Instead, it’s more like different songs that represents chapters, or moments, in my life.  But, that’d be a soundtrack and not a theme song, anyway, I guess.  Theme song (I reserve the right to change this) is the Kelis “Milkshake” song.  Not because I identify with it, but because I find it hilarious.  And no, I do not think my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…

52.  If you could jump into any book and become a part of it - what would it be and why?  Um, right now I’d like to jump into my Real Simple Travel edition (it’s actually a magazine).  :)  But, as far as a book with a plot…  Maybe Laura Ingall’s Little House on the Prairie.  I do get to come back to my real life, right?  Or, the Bible…when Jesus was here.  Actually…make the Bible my first choice.

53.  How did you meet your husband?  I met hubs at a little restaurant we both happened to work at.  I asked him to come over, and that was that.  He fell madly in love with me.  Okay, actually…I eventually told him that if he wasn’t serious (marriage - serious) and if we weren’t moving in that direction…then we both needed to move on.  I was so tired of dating random guys.  I even told him that I might become a nun….

54.  What are some possible names you will have for your other 4 children?  WE’ve only agreed on a few : Aurora Madeline (with possible nicknames as “Rory” - for Steven - and “Maddie”), Aidan Joseph, and Izaiah (I forget the middle name we had picked out for this one).  And, that’s where we stopped on names.  We have a hard time finding names we BOTH agree on for girls.  That - and, we don’t want to pick out a ton of names and have all boys or all girls next…

Here are some of my favorites (which either have been nixed or probably will be…)…but, still…the power of persuasion may they may one day end up being a name we use:

Emma
Ethan
Ana (pronounced Aw-nuh)
Genevieve
Olivia
Sophie

(that’s not the whole, exhaustive list..)

55.  When sending kids to grandparents home, do you think the grandparent should take all 5 or would just a few be ok. Or just one at a time?  Ha.  This is a trap, I know it.  lol.  I’m going to end up biting my tongue…or fingers, as it may be….   First off, I’m not going to even attempt to figure out God’s plan in this.  Meaning, we’re leaving it up to His timing mostly.  And, since I have no clue if multiples are in THE PLAN…it’s hard to say.  I would NOT expect a grandparent to take a 2 year old and quadruplets all at once….or 5 kids all under the age of 5.  Heck, I don’t expect you guys to take Lorelei, either (and she’s an easy one year old!).  I think it all depends on the grandparents, the kids, and whatever plans are for the evening.  I mean, if you and “Grandpa” are super tired or if you have plans to go out….you would be very brave to take 5 kids that are really young.  But, once again…I have no clue what the spacing will be.  I’m only 22, I have some time :)  I’m kind of hoping though, that the kids will be spread out a bit.  I’d love to have one set of twins, but hey…I don’t really get to choose.  Grams used to keep 3 of us everyday during the summer and also after school.  Occasionally, our other 3 cousins would come over for the day - Or, my aunt would brave all 5 or 6 of us at once at her house.  For the most part, I’d like to think we were pretty good kids.  And, our ages were sort of spaced out - like, when I was 9, M was 8? (maybe 7?), then S was a year younger than M, T and J were a year younger than S, and M2 was a couple of years younger than T and J.  So, once we were older…it was easier.  Just let us out in the back yard with sprinklers and a few toys (wiffle balls and plastic bats) and then feed us lunches and snacks.  Occasionally my aunt would even take all FIVE of us to the country club POOL!  - and Movies.

Okay, that got longwinded…I was reminiscing, sorry.  :)  No, I wouldn’t expect anyone (except maybe mom…haha.) to watch all 5 of my kids at once.  I’m hoping to be a SAHM throughout their school years so I’ll be here, anyhow.  And, I have no clue what type of kids they’ll be…I’m hoping they’ll be sweet and all that…and not hellions.  I’m praying that the way I raise them will reflect in how they manage their personalities…but I am new to this all…so I’m just praying for now.  lol.  That my kids will all be sweet and helpful and people will enjoy watching them.

Anyone with 45 more questions?  They can even be questions that stem off my previous answers if you want!!  Haha

First, the questions you all asked:

1.  Since you like books, and questions, I love book recommendations. What are some REALLY good ones you’ve read lately?  I guess that would depend on what type of book you are wanting to read…  One of my all-time favorite authors is Janet Evanovich (look for her series with the number in them).  She has some hilarious stuff.

2.  I got one: Why did you cut your hair so short?   lol I haven’t had my hair cut in a long time and really needed a trim at the very least before our trip.  And, then…OPTION A won.  So, that’s what I did.  I DID get it a tad longer than option A, though

3.  what is your favorite mistake? This one actually stumps me.  Most of the mistakes that I recall made me feel really crappy.  So, a good one?  I have no clue!  With that said, I think all of my mistakes are chances to grow…

4.   What do you think of little white lies? Theoretically speaking, I think they are okay.  Realistically…I think they teeter to much on a very fine line - and it’s hard for individuals to not cross the line.  Personally, I either avoid the question, talk around it, or totally change the subject if I don’t want to lie about something (even white lies)…or I will tell a truth that doesn’t exactly answer the original question but is so close that people usually don’t catch it.  I’ve been hurt so much by lies and betrayal, I try to live my life as honestly as I can.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Somewhere warm where hurricanes don’t hit, no crime, and little to no allergies.  And, I’d want my parents to live within 2 hours at least.  My family is probably the only reason we haven’t ever packed up to leave to CA or FL or GA or Hawaii…

6 flip flops or high heels?  I’m short, so I do love high heals that don’t cut into my feet…and as long as I’m not wearing them to church and don’t have to walk in the grass!  I also really like flip flops!

7. - 9. You’re stranded on a deserted island with no hope in sight of rescue.
Who’s with you (real or fiction. Be honest – doesn’t have to be a family/spouse. Remember – you’re gonna be on the island for a long long long time.)  MacGuyver.  Only - can he look like Jenson Ackles?  *swoons*

You managed to salvage your cd player. What cd is in it?  Hopefully a cd on how to survive on a deserted island.  But, seeing as how I don’t own one of those…it’d be a mix CD…with Rascall Flatts, Taylor Swift, and a variety of other music artists (with some praise songs thrown in)

You also managed to salvage 1 dvd. What dvd is it?  One question.  Why am I carrying a DVD around with me?  And, does it matter if I have no DVD player?  Or electricity?  With all of that aside…I really want to see Enchanted.

10. What is one secret that nobody knows about you?  If there is a secret about me that NOBODY knows about me…then I don’t know it either.  I’m that open and honest.  HOWEVER…I tend to break up my secrets….so no ONE person really knows them ALL (with the exception of MAYBE Steven).  And then, God of course.  You ask, I tell.  I’m still learning to trust people to not run away when I tell my deepest secrets…that, and I’m not sure many people care. - Which could leave anyone a bit hesitant.

11. What are you afraid of?  Losing the people I love.  If you only knew how these thoughts grip me.

12.  Would you rather have a book deal, record deal or movie deal? A very high-paying movie deal…costarring with Jensen Ackles.  Ha!

And now, for the randoms….

13.  I graduated high-school at age 17 with a semester of college FINISHED.

14.  As a kid, I got teased ALOT.  I HATED recess in Elementary school.  I would beg my teachers to let me go do my homework inside.  They wouldn’t let me, so instead, I tried to stay out of sight on the playground as to not be bullied.

15.  I confronted some of my Elementary bullies in HS…they didn’t remember and couldn’t believe they did what they did.

16.  I took Calculus in college for FUN.  It wasn’t required for what I was going for.

17.  I dropped out of college at Junior status to be a stay at home wife.

18.  I can cook, but choose to not do so very often.  I don’t want to add to the list of what’s expected from me every day - and I HATE cooking without creativity.  And, we don’t have the cash to do really creative stuff that I know HOW to do.  HOWEVER, next month, we’re going to try to switch things up a bit - which will bring me into the kitchen to help cook with meals…as a team.

19.  I love theatre.  I love watching and I love acting - although I may not be too great at it.

20.  I love arts and crafts because it gives me the freedom to create.  I love being able to look at things and saying…”Hey, I could do that!” and then, doing it.  It really comes in handy when I can MAKE something for a fraction of the cost.

21.  I love to travel but don’t get to do so very often.  And, I’m really starting to look forward to our Jamaica trip more and more.

22.  Random acts of kindness mean the world to me.  And yes, I am *that* girl that would invite a beggar to have lunch with me.

23.  It seems like after almost 3 really, really hard years, my marriage is where it should be.  And I thank God.  And my husband.

24.  I love my friends.  Online, offline, the ones that are related to me, and the ones that are not.  I love you all.  You mean the world to me.  All of you.

25.  I love throwing my parties.  I love the planning, I love the decorating, I love the creativity.

26.  I’m a certified wedding planner.  I pursued it for a VERY short time before realizing that to do that sort of job in THIS area…would mean to go broke.  Most everyone wants FRUGAL…which means: no wedding planner.  Bummer.  I’d be good at it too…even the frugal weddings.

27.  I read into people’s actions and what they say.  I study it, I mull it over…and sometimes, I obsess.  I wish I didn’t.

28.  I’m afraid.  Some days I’d love to shout out all of my “secrets” to anyone…but I’m too afraid of rejection.  So, I don’t.

29.  I hate taking baths.  Why?  I don’t know.  I get hot and feel like I have better things to do.  That - and, my tub isn’t really a comfortable place to read.  I’d rather sit up in bed with candlelight and music…or something.

30.  I’m fascinated with cooking from scratch these days.  I love the idea that I can make so much stuff with so few ingredients…

31.  I hate the theory that if something doesn’t kill us, it must be okay.  Do people know how stupid they sound when they say that?  -That, and how people think that if something wasn’t safe, the government wouldn’t allow it.  Mmkay.  Did you know people used to use lysol as a douche?  The government let them sell it like that…and how safe do you think that was?

32.  I love helping people and listening to them vent.  BUT, not if it’s the same thing everytime and they COULD help themselves, but don’t.  That just frustrates me.

33.  I hate being ignored.

34.  If I think you are ignoring me or being a jerk, I’ll get defensive and I’ll withdraw from you.  My mind would rather leave you than be left.

35.  I am Catholic, but that doesn’t mean I believe what ever the Catholic church tells me to believe.  I do my own thinking and think no religion is perfect.  We all have only a piece of the puzzle.

36.  I don’t wear “whitie tidies” or “boxers”.  Ha.  I’m thinking I’m not telling you what I really do wear.

37.  I love getting mail.  Even better, I love “care packages”…heck, or just packages!

38.  I’m actually really excited to be organizing my house.  It’s not that it was over-cluttered…I just wanted a bit more organization.

39.  I have this complex.  Well, I think I have many.  One of which is…  I feel compelled to scrub my floors every other day and vacuum twice I day.  I fight the urge, however…and do not.

40.  Just because I have a rather high moral code doesn’t mean I’ll judge you for doing something different.  It’s not my job and I don’t want that responsibility.  I don’t have to agree with you, but I try not to judge either…just try not to make me do it with you.

41.  I tried pot in high school.  It gave me green boogers.  I didn’t like it.

42.  I’ve never really tried any other drugs - nor do I wish to.

43.  Nana has me on a Bare Minerals kick.  I really want some, now.  Especially the eye colors.  I have the coolest Nana ever.

44.  I want 5 kids.  I really, really do.  And - I think Steven has finally accepted it.

45.  I want to homeschool said 5 kids.  Not, out in the boondocks type homeschool and farming.  I mean, we go to a classroom with other homeschool kids once a week, and the rest of the week, I teach them.  I remember being bored in some of my subjects at school.  I want to be able to cater to each of my children’s individual needs.  I love learning and I can’t wait!

46.  Things like secret tunnels and rooms fascinate me.

47.  I love colors.  Our room is blue, our kitchen is a citrus-y green, and our living room is dark red.  We’re not finished painting the house per se…but we got tired of doing it ourselves.  It’s not fun.  But I love how the rooms make me feel!

48.  I have a love/hate relationship with myself.  I pretend to have confidence, but I can’t really say that I think I’m hawt.  Or even close.  If I were to draw a picture of how I see me…it would probably very distorted.  I know this, and yet…it doesn’t make me feel any better.

49.  I’ve almost died at least 3 times…that I know of.

50.  I love large bookstores and craft stores…oh man, how I love them…and fabric stores!!

51-100 - Help me out.  I need more questions!  Anything you want to know about me?

When I’m not vacuuming up the endless amounts of cat hair…
When I’m not mopping the floor for the bazillionth time this week…because I just might be OCD..
When I’m not taking care of emails, mail, and other business…
When I’m not dusting…
When I’m not picking up after everyone else…
When I’m not changing dirty diapers…
When I’m not playing with my toddler…
When I’m not spending valuable time with my husband…
When I’m not chasing Lorelei, picking up after her and keeping her from sticking her fingers in light sockets and licking cats…
When I’m not tending my garden…
When I’m not on my hands and knees, scrubbing…
When I’m not scraping food off the highchair…
When I’m not pulling dried waffle and bananas out of my hair…
When I’m not holding a crying baby…
When I’m not dealing with bill collectors…
When I’m not praying…
When I’m not washing load after load of clothes…
When I’m not trying to fold a mountain of clothes while simultaneously trying to keep the toddler from pulling everything out of the basket…
When I’m not trying to clean up the  goodies the dog just left on my newly  cleaned floor…
When I’m not shampooing the carpets….
When I’m not trying to research what’s best for my baby (vaccines, foods, medicines, etc)…
When I’m not comforting others…
When I’m not trying to sneak a shower or lunch in before the baby wakes back up…

…When I’m not doing any of these…I must be asleep.

I’m not longer going by “Stay-At-Home-Mom.”  I’m a Work-at-home-mom.  I’m a mother.  A wife.  A full-time nurse.  I’m a researcher.  I’m a writer.  I’m an actress.  I’m a seamstress (err…sort of).  I’m an artist.  I’m head of billing and accounts.  I’m a teacher.  I’m a student.  I’m a counselor.  And, I do it all for free…day in, and day out.

And, I love it all.  I love my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  But, when you walk into my home and you can’t see your reflection in my floors.  Remember that.  That, and the fact you are a bonehead if you think you can see your reflection on cheap vinyl flooring that’s approximately 20 years old anyways.  If you see a ritz cracker smushed into my carpet, know that I will get it later.  Either that, or the toddler will.  If you see some hair floating by, it’s not my fault.  My 2 indoor and extremely fluffy cats and little dog shed like there’s no tomorrow.  There is no way that i can catch every single hair that comes off of them.  If you want to try, you go for it.  Otherwise, shut up.  They’re cats.  What do you want from me?  I’ve already tried taking the vacuum and every fancy brush to them.  It. Doesn’t. Work.  It just wastes my time.

The truth is: I do what I can.  But, I refuse to sacrifice my family time and MY personal happiness to be a slave to this house.  My house is not nasty, but sometimes you’ll see dust on the TV.  Sometimes there will be tiny hand and nose prints on my glass door.  Sometimes you will spot some cat fur…that’s not attached.  I’ve learned a valuable lesson in the past 3 years as a wife and a mother:  My house will never be TOTALLY clean.  As soon as I finish, it’s time to start again.  And to speak frankly, when my life is over, I don’t want to look back and regret all the missed slobbery kisses, my daughter’s first steps, my husband’s joy in sharing about his day and sweet kisses from him, or listening to a friend that needed a shoulder - mine.  I don’t want to look back and realize that I missed all of these things and more because I couldn’t put the mop down and live my life.

First, I know, I know…I’m so very late for posting about my Organization 2008 updates.

This past week, my goal was to clean and organize the Master Bedroom and closets (meaning me cleaning mine and him cleaning his).  Lucky for me, last year, I’d bought, assembled, and installed (with the help of my wonderful hubby) a closet shelving system.  So, that was grand.  Basically, I had a system in my closet already.  So, all I had to do was refold and reorganize a few things and then I was FINISHED with the closet!  Also, a few weeks ago, I bought a placemat in bright colors (plastic, and from Walmart) and some (as in, 2) aqua plastic stemware (with wide mouths, also from walmart) and a couple of matching bowls (also plastic, also from walmart, also aqua).  My wire closet organization system/shelving is not always the best thing for my jewelry. In fact, I didn’t really have a set up for my jewelry at ALL.  A few necklaces dangled off of a post, but everything else stayed in their respective boxes.  So, I put the placemat on that shelf (so I could put smaller items on the shelf and they wouldn’t fall through), and then used the two bowls to hold different things.  One holds random stuff - like receipts I need to keep, extra buttons, stuff that gets lines out of my clothing, coins, etc.  The other holds bracelets and earrings.  Then, I stacked my plastic stemware (they also have little bubbles in the design) so they resembled a fountain and draped my necklaces over the sides (on both tiers).  It kind of looks like a fountain…and if I didn’t have so many necklaces, I might be able to see everything.  Haha.  But, I have a feeling that I’ll be passing a few pieces on, once I figure out what I wear and what I don’t.  ( I just bought this jewelry from some family/friends jewelry parties last year.  And while I LOVE necklaces…I rarely wear them… - So, I’ll either wear them, or pass them on!)

I had a few things on “my side of the room” that were pretty random and totally didn’t belong, so I put those up.  Now, I have a few things for my huge giveaway for a local parenting site I have…but those will be gone first week of June.  So, that’s temporary.  And then…I gathered my huge pile of books from under my bed and reorganized them, stacking them in order by which I wanted to read first.  Let me tell you, I have a LOT of books on my reading list.  In fact, I just started and finished an entire book this past weekend.  I go through books fast, but also, I have been known to have several different books going at once (different genres).  The neat pile of books under my bed will most likely stay there.  Not the same books, but I’m sure I’ll always have a book list of cool finds.  I love books.  So sue me.  And, under our bed is hidden, I know where they are…so why not use the space —as long as it’s organized!

So, the room is almost completely organized, save for husband’s closet.  But, after a bit of a pep-talk we had, I’m hoping it will be finished tonight.  :)  So, next on our list is the Dining Room/Kitchen.  We’ve decided to combine it all into one week.

….

Lorelei is now walking more and more!  Of course, she’s still loving the crawling thing.  She’s not stupid.  She KNOWS how to get their faster.  She still  loves computers and food and animals.  In fact, just a second ago, she was trying to feed the kitty (Thomas) a USB cable.  He wasn’t buying it.  The kitties know they get in trouble for chewing cords of any kind.  Big trouble.  Baby L is doing great with “discipline” - which is mostly the word “NO” and occasionally a light smack on the hand if she keeps trying to touch something that she absolutely shouldn’t (things that could hurt her or break).  In fact, after a couple of run ins with the word, “NO”, she’ll often cruise by something (like animal food bowls), stop, look at it…look at us…and either shake her head “no”, say “no”, or both - and then keep crawling.  I love that she’ll touch something and then look TO US to see if it’s okay.  Sometimes she’ll test outside of that, just to make sure we are consistent…and we are.  I love this kid.

…

And, lastly…I’m nearing 100 posts.  Like, SERIOUSLY nearing..  SOOOO…post me some random questions in my comments.  They can be funny, serious, whatever.  You can ask me random questions, cheesy questions, or stuff that you always wanted to know.  I promise!  I love questions, and I’ll answer almost anything.  I’m an open book (if you couldn’t tell already).  So PLEASE.  Leave me some questions.  I don’t care if you always comment, lurk, or whatever - just ask!!!  I feel stupid asking myself AND answering questions.  lol

Thanks everyone for helping me pick a new haircut :)  I did indeed go with A (it was the resounding vote), although chose to have it cut an inch or two longer, to fit my face a bit more.

Here goes:

–PS.  I’m really tired and sorry I don’t look spec-fabulous…but this is all I got.

Yesterday, I decided I would take on a new project.  - Not that I don’t have enough going on (in the world of craftiness - what, with making gifts and stuff for a swap, and all)…  I decided I’d try a new “sexy dress” I’d found online.  So, I grab my bag of material and the new thread and power up my sewing machine.  I was ready to rock and roll…err, sew.  Hubs was coming home early, but I still had a good hour or more before he’d be home, and I was elated that I’d be able to meet him at the door in my new dress.  After all, the chic said that the dress only took HER 30 minutes from start to finish.  And, I was a pro, right…as I’d already made one simple dress and a skirt that ended up not fitting my daughter AT ALL (I really should have rethought this).

So, I began.  I cut out my fabric, just winging it…as I had absolutely NO measurements to go by.  None.  She’s one of those geniuses that can do that and come up with stunning masterpieces…and I, well…I was hoping for the best.  Or, just stupid.  Whichever.  Anyhow, I soon figured out that I would have to modify her directions a bit (there were no patterns, just a rough explanation of how it was made to go by).  For starters, she had a um…perfect body.  Think Barbie.  No hips and a cute tiny butt.  I have hips and am ample booty.  So, yeh.  A straight triangle for my skirt-piece.  NOT gonna happen.  It suddenly became clear to me that I was going to have to make this dress …on me.  So, I sewed a little….then put it on….sewed some more…feverishly working, trying to finish before hubby got home.

Until my craft room gets totally organized (as I really REALLY need some shelving in there), my kitchen table is serving as my sewing center.  And, the only mirror is above the buffet table.  So, as I was fitting the skirt to my body, using pins to mark where the lines SHOULD be (but were not), I was also standing on a chair…in my kitchen…in my underwear.  And the skirt-part of the dress…which went right up to under my bust-line.  So, you can imagine my husband’s surprise when he walked into the door.

Not really what I had planned on.

Oh well.  At least there are LOTS of trees and we have blinds.  I really would like a sewing room now.  And a dress form to my measurements.

Oh yeh…and the dress?  It looks like it came straight out of an 80s nightmare.