For the past several weeks, I’ve been having contractions. However, unlike “normal” contractions, I’ve had a really tough time fitting them into either “Real” or “Braxton Hicks” contraction label.
Braxton Hicks (according to most websites) should be pretty irregular, inconsistent, not painful, and go away with changing of activity (i.e., lying down, drinking water, etc.)
Real Contractions become consistent, regular, painful, do not go away with change in activity, and change your cervix.
My contractions? Are everything I just listed under “real contractions” except the cervix part. They get down to 2 minutes apart, sometimes get a little harder, don’t go away regardless of how still I lay, how much water I drink, etc. They make me “gasp.” They come with lower back pain. And, they’re consistent and generally last 8-10 hours. And, then I get sick (diarrhea/vomiting bout EVERY TIME…which is how it happened with Aurora when I actually went into labor… but, not all of this “weeks beforehand stuff”).
I’m a little befuddled.
Sunday evening, I was so proud. I’d been resting and keeping my feet up and all of that and just went out for a couple of hours. After those 2 short hours, the contractions had began. Two hours later, the contractions were slightly harder and 2 minutes apart – ISH (I stink at timing them). I decided to go home (I ate at my mom’s house) and just rest and sleep through them. I figured that at almost 35 weeks pregnant, either the baby would come or he wouldn’t and I’d know soon enough if he was. Sleep came but was fitful and uncomfortable and ended abruptly with me shooting out of bed and racing to the bathroom to vomit…and diarrhea. All at once. It was AWESOME.
And no, it’s not a bug.
I had contractions through that mess too and finally decided that at 2:00 am, I would go to the hospital. So, I called mom to watch the girls and drove up.
Long story, short – two terbutaline shots and many hours later, the contractions FINALLY dwindled down. (They came back after the first and were barely there after the second).
I asked the nurse if I’d have to make a habit of getting these shots until my due date and she said they should keep the contractions away for a couple of weeks (?)… but, here I am… having contractions…these, a little more intense than yesterday’s. Barely.
And, since it seems like the nurse might’ve been talking out of her you-know-what, I’ve decided to come up with a classifying system for contractions since “braxton hicks” and “real” just aren’t the right labels for me apparently.
Wimpy Contractions – these are irregular and inconsistent and you barely feel them. As in, it could’ve actually been the baby high-fiving my uterus…
Angry Uterus Contractions – the regular contractions that are still barely there… last only for a couple of hours… most often comes after bumpy rides and gloved exams.
Oh, Gasp! Contractions – Regular, consistent, and yet they take your breath away every time. More uncomfortable than they are painful. You are able to drive a vehicle with these, but may not be able to concentrate on a story line of a book (Unless you are my friend, “Laverle”…who could probably read dangling from a tightrope upside down.)
Kicked In the Hoo-Ha Contractions – In my experience, these are what I experience as the next level after the OGCs. It’s like the OGCs but feels like someone is kicking you… and you can feel it in your cervix-area a little.
Miss That Bump Or Die Contractions – These came for me after the KITHHCs. It’s basically the last two combined plus a little more intense. You can still walk and talk, but they make you a little breathless and you feel every bump in the road during these. Driving may start getting a little dangerous during these…especially as they start moving to the next level.
Pull Over Contractions – They’re getting even more intense and still consistent and regular. You can walk and talk…til you have the contraction, and then you feel the urge to grab something and hold on. You can still stand and your legs will still walk afterward. Just, during… you might have trouble catching your breath. I wouldn’t advise driving during these. Heck, I’m not sure I’d advise driving someone ELSE with these.
Wish You Were Dead Contractions – like the POCs… except you don’t feel like walking any more and this all went from exciting to angry stares in everyone’s directions. Definitely not safe to drive. Probably shouldn’t hold hard objects that can be thrown as well…
Wish I Were Dead Contractions – I think these are often called “transition” contractions. It’s where you get to the “I can’t do this!” part and you probably start saying it enough with enough emotion that some people around you might start believing you too. If you’re driving at this point, these will probably be your last contractions… so, seriously…pull the heck over, dummy.
…and those are the only ones I remember. In a few weeks, I can probably tweak this list. And, although I am undoubtedly one of the smartest people EVER… your doctor probably won’t know what you’re talking about if you mention these (which should show you how much smarter I am. Clearly).
…Also, none of this is medical advice. Well, not technically.