I finally took the initiative to look up what all of the hub-bub about this swine flu was about.  Typically, I ignore the news and get only the utmost “important” things from family and friends.  Some of you would say I’m not educating myself on the happenings of the world, but to be honest, I feel like I’m staying true to what really matters: the world around ME and the people who live in it.  That, and I don’t really care for the media’s representation of much of anything these days.  I’m just not ready to jump on the doom and gloom wagon, I have enough things in my own life that could easily get me down.

So, 109 cases so far, and one death in the US.  Although, the one death was a mexican visiting Texas and had “underlying conditions” and died from the pneumonia that the flu caused.  Being prepared is one thing, but I won’t be stocking up on tape and face masks just yet.  And, if I do…it’ll have nothing to do with swine flu.  I will take this plenty serious, but as of right now?  I have a better chance of walking into the road and getting run over than I do of dying from the swine flu.  Actually, seeing as how some people don’t read speed limit signs out here, that may not be saying much.  But, still.

Since I’m not spending my time raiding the shelves of Walmart for jugs of water, face masks, and duct tape, Steven and I had plenty of time to spare after my doctor’s appointment yesterday.  (I am still 3 cm, 80% effaced just like I was on Tuesday.)  So, we decided to head a town over and look at apartments.  If you know me at all (or have read my blog for over a month), you really shouldn’t have to ask WHY, but in case you are, I’ll save you the extra embarrassment from not really having been paying attention.

You see, Steven lost his job a couple of months ago and it was pretty much “Surprise!  Don’t come back!”  kind of thing.  And, while we have our theories as to the WHYS – which have everything to do with the management of the company and their finances and not much at all to do with S – none of it really matters much at this point.  And, in case you are still confused, I’ll break it down further…

No job = No income

No income + bills + creditors = Still no income

Do you see where I’m going with this?  We didn’t really have “savings” and are pretty much winging it (and have been) but are getting rather close to the end of the pot of money we were able to scrounge together.  Instead of waiting for another month or two, we thought we’d be proactive and just look at apartments and prices while we still have CHOICES and a little time, rather than being backed into a corner with only one or two options.

In other news, still no job.  Leads here and there, but after 2 months – nothing means anything until a contract is signed.  Now, we’re looking at the possibility of going full time military – I’m still figuring out how I feel about that, and it will mean a very probably move in a few years if we go with that.  Only thing is, there will still have to be a few rounds of jumping through fiery rings just to do that – and it all has to be done fast and of course is not in my hands at all.  So, yeh.

In even more AWESOME news…our last dependable vehicle died.  DIED.  So, we jumped it one last time (for now) and my grams let us use her old car, which well…yeh.  *Sigh*

There’s more, there always is…but that should give you a pretty good idea as to why I’m stressed.  And, why if anyone else tells me to just “Calm down” or “Focus on me and the baby”…well, please don’t.  I am trying to see the rainbows, I really am.  But, right now…I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant and feel like I have absolutely no control over much of anything.

In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if this baby is even going to be born before the year is out.  Well, not really…but I am wondering if maybe my body is a little confused, considering all of the trouble and hormone issues I had with conceiving L in the first place, and other hormone-related type issues.  I’m wondering if the baby is ready and my body is just a little confused.  I know NORMALLY, your body should know what to do, but I also know sometimes, the rules don’t always apply and what if I’m one of the weird ones?

Welcome back!