The fresh arrangement of violets and blues spill over the vase, creating a rainbow of soft indigo petals lusciously grouped together.  A small tag, attached with silver ribbon flutters in the breeze of the open window.  As you read it, you smile.  He’s quoted a lyric of your favorite song and in one line made you feel like the most special girl on Earth.  Your fingers brush against the new lacy camisole you bought and your thoughts drift to the plans you’ve made for him once he gets home for work.

You can almost smell the seductive scent as if you were there now.  You can almost touch his muscles as they flex, and you can’t help but smile at him  as wraps his arms…

around the big box of his crap that you just asked him to move upstairs for the umpteenth time.

****

When the wedding dress goes on and the rings and vows are exchanged, you are automatically (whether you like it or not) entering into a very special club.  It’s a club with all sorts of perks, and the waiting list is long to join, so it seems.  And, once you have, a special message arrives:

“Congratulations!  You’re married!   Hope you enjoyed the sex while you had it, because it’s OVER!  SUCKA!”

That, at least, seems to be the popular view on the subject.

It seems like before a marriage even begins, it’s cursed with negativity.  Not only is it assumed to be the Christian American way that sex in marriage must be rare, but it also must be B-O-R-I-N-G!  Yet, on the big screens, unwed teenagers are having the sex of their lives (supposedly) … often.

It’s kind of funny (except not really).  After some extensive conversations with some of my girlfriends, it’s clear that it seems to be pretty par for the course for a couple to date…have sex…get married…and, then Pbbttt.  It comes to a screeching halt.  Not because she doesn’t like sex.  Not because he doesn’t want it.  Just because…they’re married?  What?

HE wants to know how often he can get it and SHE wants to know how much she MUST put out.  HE doesn’t understand what the problem is – after all, they used to do it with no complaint before marriage and SHE doesn’t understand how she went from being his beloved and cherished to something more akin to something that merely belonged to him.  He doesn’t understand what her problem is, and she misses the sweet gestures and feel under-appreciated and used.

There are no longer attempts to impress and woo, just silent expectations coming from both sides.

No wonder marriages are failing left and right.  Actually, I’m a bit surprised that more marriages aren’t having an even greater decline.

As young couples, many of us go through marriage preparation courses – courses that edge close into the topic of sex within marriage but then STOP.  Abruptly.  Pulling back quickly as if a diseased monster just rared it’s head back.  We’re not taught what to expect or how to handle the upcoming challenges in or having to do with the bedroom.  Instead, we’re supplied with a vast array of negative remarks having to do with sex (or the lack thereof) in the marriage bed.

So, does this bring us to the conclusion that SEX IN MARRIAGE IS NOT OKAY?

Phyllis and Glenn Hill think so.  Because, they believe it’s AMAZING!  In their recent book, Sex In Marriage Is Not Okay – It’s Amazing, Phyllis and Glenn Hill explore sexuality in the Christian marriage and what it has become and what it was meant to be – and the stark differences between them.  They venture to say the things we’ve all been thinking but so afraid to say and answer some of the toughest questions that even our own churches refuse to answer for us.  In one book, they manage to cover a sticky topic with great advice and guidance that is enough to change lives and bedroom…activities.  Ahem.

This book?  Is the awesomeness.  And, there’s no way I’m going to spoil it on here.  You’re going to have to read it for yourself.  Learn what others have taken a lifetime to learn.  Allow yourself to fast-forward the mistakes and negativity and get straight to the happy ending.  Heh.

Right now, they’re actually offering a limited special … you can buy a book for yourself and then bless a friend…for the price of one.

Because, dude.  Just because you’re married and a Christian, you aren’t entitled to monotonous vanilla sex.  It’s because you are married Christians that you are entitled to some of the best sex of your lives.  Because, that’s the gift that God meant it to be.

Sex In Marriage Is Not Okay – It’s Amazing! (Or, should be.  Is yours?)

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