I really shouldn’t be surprised since I write half-assed pregnancy updates every week on here, and yet I find myself looking at the calendar jumping up and down. 30 weeks! I’m in the big leagues, now! Here come the days of exciting 4-D ultrasounds and the power to make people sweat at will (Was that just a contraction? Oooooh! Just kidding.) But, then…OHMYFREAKINGHECK! 30 weeks! So much left to do!

I haven’t even started on my list of things that need to be bought or accomplished before Aurora is born. – I haven’t even made the list, yet!

And soon, we’ll be expected to throw a birthday party for Lorelei (who will be 2) or else possibly face neglect charges. I recently received a catalog in the mail from the goofs at some party company – chock full of FIRST birthday products and supplies (sometimes “better late than never” doesn’t really apply, folks), and she’s been faithfully carrying the thing around, pointing and oohing. I’ve asked her what kind of party she’d like, but to no avail. I know she’s capable of forming short phrases (when she wants something), so I can only assume she’s deliberately not telling me because she wants me to GUESS.

Google suggested I go with her interests and do something like pay people to bring a bunch of smelly animals to poop in my yard just for the sake of being a good mommy. Then, google changed its mind and thought it’d be more appropriate if we bought party plates and decor with character’s faces on them. But, since she has no idea who Dora or Elmo really is, I’m wondering if the leftover Santa plates from Christmas will do?

Someone else suggested I just make a theme of my own – you know – be creative and stuff – around what SHE likes.

Well, she gets excited about showers but I’m pretty sure that’d be a mildly inappropriate theme.

And, the kid does love shoes – especially other people’s – so maybe we’ll just invite a bunch of folks over and let her steal their shoes?

Oh. And, babies! She owns no less than twenty baby dolls (seriously.) and is OBSESSED with babies, to put it mildly. Baby shows, baby books, baby pictures, baby dolls, baby this and baby that. I started making notes…

We could have a baby theme! I bet I could rip down a few health department banners and use those as the decor. And ooh – we could invite real live babies. We could sit them in a circle and it’d be like her own version of a petting zoo (Aww wook at da cuuuute babiiiieeesss!)

And, then it hit me. Pure genius that I am, decided that since Aurora would be born shortly after Lorelei turned 2, we could have a combo party. Like, a “Oh my gosh, you’re 2!” party and a “Let me pinch your newborn cheeks” party – combined! Genius! Homemade Cake and homemade ice cream…maybe even cookies. It’d be warmer out and we could bring out the 80 riding toys and outdoor toys we own and just let the kids play outside, which is what she likes to do anyhow. Dude. This would be perfect! She’d be getting, gifts too so we don’t have to worry about jealousy over any “baby” gifts.

I quit scribbling notes for a moment about cake flavors and such and looked up to find her holding one of her baby dolls – and a spatula – bringing the spatula from the baby and to her mouth, then back again, in an odd movement like…

IS SHE EATING THE BABY?

“Hey Steven? Do you think it’d be considered poor “personal taste” by our guests if we throw in a baby shaped cake and pinata?”

“Probably.”

(*PS – No new pregnancy changes. Except you can totally tell I’m pregnant and I finally uploaded a dang picture. Oh, and the headaches this week. And, body aches. I think I’m dying. Someone please hand me a cupcake.)

Welcome back!

I *accidentally* kind of went off my prenatal vitamins again.  Actually, I just forgot for a day or two and noticed that my heartburn went away, as well.  So, I thought I’d do an experiment and see if I left out the vitamins a couple of days, if the heartburn would stay gone.  And, it did.  So, I’m wondering if that’s the connection.  Then again, I took the vitamins again today and have done pretty well, so who knows.  I’ve decided to only take them in the morning with just a bit on my stomach and with water only (no juice at all).

The area around my butt-bone (as I like to call it since I have no other words to describe it) has definitely felt awkward.  Kind of like I need a chiropractic adjustment (which is awesome since we can’t go to the chiropractor due to insurance and such).  And, of course, still having the moments where it’s like a stitch and I can’t walk without being in HUGE pain.  I have to lay down and just let it pass with a pillow between my knees (and on my left side) – that usually works, although it means I’m not moving for at LEAST 30 minutes, if not longer.

I’m eating well and having no problems there.  This second trimester is supposed to be the “honeymoon phase” and I’m feeling very jipped since I JUST started feeling okay and now comes the heartburn, cramps, and overall PAIN.  AWESOME.

The past few days, I’ve noticed an increase of hormone induced FREAK OUTS.  Granted, I have loads of reasons to be in a less than happy state, but the past 3 days have been RIDICULOUS.  You know, wanting to cry and not knowing why and a mean word just makes me burst into tears and such.

And because FREAK OUTS just aren’t enough, for the past couple of days I’ve had some major back pain.  Not the achey joints and ithinkipulledsomething sort of kind…but, the kind that feels oddly similar to back labor.  Yesterday, it would come and go but stay for 3 hours or so at a time.  I called the hospital’s OB line to find out what I could do and any things to watch for and they basically said:

-get on all fours to help the baby have more room and get her off your back

-lay on your left side with pillows between your legs and add some ICE

-take some tylenol or tylenol PM if you need it

-warm shower

-no pushing/pulling/picking up things.  You know, like YOUR KID.  Right right.

-And, if it becomes intermittent GET IN HERE!

So, I’ve been watching them a bit.  Not with pen and paper and charts kind of way, but just paying more attention to how often and how long – but no official stop watch yet.  Today, they’ve been coming and going more.  At one point, it’d actually last 30 minutes and then go away for a while and come back again.  Plus, I just feel WEIRD.  Not like when I’m about to get sick and I feel like I’ve been hit by an invisible bus, but WEIRD and tired all the same.  Lying down doesn’t really help except for the OTHER pains – and these “pains” are enough to keep me awake or wake me up but nothing to scream and bang my head about.  Also, nothing to run to the hospital about since I know that’ll end up in more bills that I can’t pay.  So, I’ll just wait.

Did I mention I’m only 25 weeks?

The thought of going into early labor – this early – kind of freaks me out, but then again it’s not hard to freak me out right now and I’m trying to keep that in mind.  I really can’t afford to just run to the doctor these days JUST BECAUSE – especially not the hospital.  Then again, the thoughts of what if I wait too late …yeh.  *Sigh*  Apparently I am now experiencing pregnancy induced anxiety.  Woot.

Oh, and just for the sake of chronicling things a bit better (I’m feeling really badly that I don’t have an actual journal dedicated to this pregnancy like I did with L), I had some major crampage earlier.  You know, the remember to breathe sort where you clench your eyes and everything kind of becomes hard to concentrate on and the text on your laptop gets blurry?  Yeh.  That kind.  No contractions, just major OWW – and then it went away.

Okay.  Cramps.  Again.

And, I’m out.

You see that? – The pudge under my shirt that is not longer just my stomach, but an overextended uterus with a mini karate-choppin child in it? Right, that’s my belly shot for this week.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy showing off random body parts for you all, it’s just that the scraggly old man at the corner with the cardboard sign looked at me all funny when I told him I’d pay him with a burrito if he’d take a picture of my belly. How was I supposed to know it was a priest on his off day, just taking out the trash?

Plus, let’s go ahead and throw in that there’s some general confusion in these parts as to where exactly the baby is, especially after Lorelei grabbed my boob and exclaimed “baby!” So, am I supposed to be taking belly shots now – or boob shots? I’m not really sure, anymore…

I’m now gaining weight, which probably has absolutely nothing to do with completely balanced meals I’ve been eating – like, peanut butter fudge (for protein), white enriched pasta (grains?), cheese pizza (vegetable, grains, fruits, AND calcium). Oh, and the Eggo waffles I just slammed down. Really, I’m pretty sure it’s the scales and the fact that they try to weigh me every time I have to pee – I weigh a totally different number every time I bounce. It’s amazing, you should try it.

I’m doing exceedingly well with not ripping anyone’s head off, I think. Especially considering the asshats that have made comments regarding my sometimes-less-than-cheery blog posts as being hormonal-inspired. Obviously not. If it were hormonal inspired, I’d be threatening death to the person who let something like my empty wallet get in the way of giving me that last damn donut in the coffee shop. You know, important stuff like that. So, unfortunately this pregnancy hasn’t rid me of normal human emotions (yet, anyways) and I still experience insane giddiness and even sadness like the rest of you mad folk.

Oh! Wait! The morning sickness stuff is pretty much gone, as long as I grab something to eat when I get up. No more Zofran! I’ve been a little preoccupied so I almost missed that grand little nugget. Occasionally, my entire tummy just jolts here and there…especially after I eat an entire bag of …oh, say Oreos. Of course, I’d never do that…pshaw. I don’t even like Oreos THAT much. Red’s donuts though? Sure. Little Aurora likes donuts too…she gets super worked up for them.

Do I mention that my bladder is almost like a 70 year old’s now? I’m fairly sure I could still hold a contest with my Grams and win, but the sudden moments where I realize I HAVE TO PEE NOW, DAMMIT are a bit of a pain in the rear when you’re in an area with either no bathroom, or a bathroom that much resembles what you’d imagine the lavatories in a run-down whore house to look like. Or, maybe you just rocked the sick toddler to sleep and now she’s sleeping comfortably on you…you almost wish you’d thought to cover the couch in plastic just so you wouldn’t have to move. Almost. But not.

Luckily, I’m no longer going to pee 80 times a night – although I know that’ll be back soon enough as the baby grows. Right now, I can hold it for an entire night, even though by 6 AM things get a bit uncomfortable, but I’d rather pee in the coffee cup and throw it out the window then wake up Lorelei who’s less than three feet from my bed in her own crib. There’s just some things you don’t mess with, a sick toddler being one of them.

Come back next week for the next installment – although I can’t promise to talk about urine and donuts in the same post.  But, we’ll see…

I thought I had it all under control – with snacks, the evil finger pricker (glucose monitor), the puke bucket, specialty morning sickness candies and vitamins, and drinks. We’d moved an extra bed into Lorelei’s room so I would be able to at least be in the same room with my very own daughter. I knew I was sick, but I had just accepted it all as “how morning sickness attacks affects Ashley.”

Until NOTHING would stay down.

Until walking 10 feet would leave me feeling drained, shaky, and like I was going to pass out.

So, I quit moving. I kept eating and I kept drinking, but to no avail. Everything came back up. My throat was raw, my stomach hurt, and I just wanted to go drift back into the sleep that kept calling my name.

I was counting down the days until October 1st – the day our insurance would take effect. The day of my first scheduled “official” OB/GYN appointment. I had plans to beg my doctor for the medicine I’d promised myself I wouldn’t take this time around – the $80 bottle of medicine meant for chemotherapy patients, only given to pregnant women when the need for it outweighed the risks. By Monday, I knew I was only 2 days away from at least some sort of improvement.

Then, my mom called. Despite my attempts to convince her that although I felt horrid, I didn’t think I belonged in the ER, she didn’t believe me. We both knew that if insurance was already covering me, I’d have gone to the doctor days ago. She called my doctor on my behalf, telling her how things were going down in our home and my doc told her to get me there. Now.

It took about 30 minutes to convince me, but then I began to shakily throw things on the kitchen table, preparing for my mom to pick us up (Steven had the only working vehicle with a carseat).

The rest is history…

I was admitted to the hospital on an hour-by-hour basis to receive IV fluids and vitamins and nutrients. They were on strict orders to only do what was necessary (no urine/blood tests since I was self pay and would have coverage in only 2 days and already had lab tests scheduled for October 1st). For the next 5 hours, they pumped vitamins, nutrients, and fluids into my body as quickly as they could and layered the warmed blankets on me as I couldn’t keep warm.

Around 9 pm, they allowed me to try a liquid only diet. I chose juice, and despite the intense burning in my mouth, it stayed down. By 10:30 pm, they were ready to let me try solids. I made a request for a simple turkey sandwich and possibly pasta salad with dressing on the side, but the cafeteria had closed hours ago and the only “leftovers” on the shelf was… a tuna fish sandwich on lumpy whole grain bread. I laughed when they announced my first solid attempt would be a tuna fish sandwich…until I realized that they were serious and then the hilarity factor dropped at high speed.

Three bites in and gagging, I decided I’d give it a rest. At least until I could get some medication.

Shortly after, Zofran was administered. Mom left. A quick call to wish Steven goodnight. And, then I turned the lights out.

I drifted in and out of fitful sleep with the pink tub/bucket beside me (just in case). The next day, it was decided that I would undergo some new (to me) treatments. During these, we found out that I’m most likely allergic to Reglan, as it left me jittery and overly anxious – almost as if I were coming off of something (or, I would imagine). It was horrible, like I was coming out of my own skin.

I don’t remember much about Tuesday – lots of fitful sleep, interesting hospital food (like pork with mango salsa), and feeling really really bad. And, lots of unplugging my IV cart so I could go pee. Alot. By 8 or 9 pm, I was discharged with strict orders to be at my doctor’s office as soon as they opened for a full looksie (ultrasound, blood tests, urine tests, etc…the works).

Then, the rest of the week was spent curled up on my parents’ couch or one of the beds sleeping and drinking and peeing and eating. Not much else. My family has been awesome, taking turns to come over to help me eat and to keep crazy L company as I try to rest and recuperate. I’ve been armed with sleeping pills, another set of vitamins, and the hard core Z meds. The idea with the sleeping pills is that if I’m asleep, maybe I won’t puke? I guess? But at 85 lbs, even the prescribed 1/2 a pill knocks me the heck out, rendering me completely useless. Which is …uh…great…except I’m fairly sure that I will have to at SOME point leave my parents’ couch and at SOME point will have to take care of my own darn kid. I’m just guessing, there, but it makes a lot of sense.

So, those are the updates. I’m just trying to figure out how I can arrange my arsenal of medicines so that I don’t end up back where I was – and trying to find a way to hopefully just be able to take care of myself and L on a daily basis for the remainder of this trimester (which is like a month left to go). Because…if it lasts for more than a month? I’m screwed.

Other random notes (for myself) at 9 weeks:

- weight unchanged.
- Dry skin AND acne? OW. So much for a pregnancy glow.
- The baby’s heartbeat is much better this week (according to the ultrasound after being in the hospital).
- Hair is getting darker in all of the wrong places, but the hair on my head is still coming out in clumps. Why can’t it be the other way around?

Next appointment is Wednesday, which is purely in place to monitor my weight and pukeage. Expect tummy pictures next week, unless things get worse.