For the past several weeks, I’ve been having contractions.  However, unlike “normal” contractions, I’ve had a really tough time fitting them into either “Real” or “Braxton Hicks” contraction label.

Braxton Hicks (according to most websites) should be pretty irregular, inconsistent, not painful, and go away with changing of activity (i.e., lying down, drinking water, etc.)

Real Contractions become consistent, regular, painful, do not go away with change in activity, and change your cervix.

My contractions?  Are everything I just listed under “real contractions” except the cervix part.  They get down to 2 minutes apart, sometimes get a little harder, don’t go away regardless of how still I lay, how much water I drink, etc.  They make me “gasp.”  They come with lower back pain.  And, they’re consistent and generally last 8-10 hours.  And, then I get sick (diarrhea/vomiting bout EVERY TIME…which is how it happened with Aurora when I actually went into labor… but, not all of this “weeks beforehand stuff”).

I’m a little befuddled.

Sunday evening, I was so proud.  I’d been resting and keeping my feet up and all of that and just went out for a couple of hours.  After those 2 short hours, the contractions had began.  Two hours later, the contractions were slightly harder and 2 minutes apart – ISH (I stink at timing them).  I decided to go home (I ate at my mom’s house) and just rest and sleep through them.  I figured that at almost 35 weeks pregnant, either the baby would come or he wouldn’t and I’d know soon enough if he was.  Sleep came but was fitful and uncomfortable and ended abruptly with me shooting out of bed and racing to the bathroom to vomit…and diarrhea.  All at once.  It was AWESOME.

And no, it’s not a bug.

I had contractions through that mess too and finally decided that at 2:00 am, I would go to the hospital.  So, I called mom to watch the girls and drove up.

Long story, short – two terbutaline shots and many hours later, the contractions FINALLY dwindled down.  (They came back after the first and were barely there after the second).

I asked the nurse if I’d have to make a habit of getting these shots until my due date and she said they should keep the contractions away for a couple of weeks (?)… but, here I am… having contractions…these, a little more intense than yesterday’s.  Barely.

And, since it seems like the nurse might’ve been talking out of her you-know-what, I’ve decided to come up with a classifying system for contractions since “braxton hicks” and “real” just aren’t the right labels for me apparently.

Wimpy Contractions – these are irregular and inconsistent and you barely feel them.  As in, it could’ve actually been the baby high-fiving my uterus…

Angry Uterus Contractions – the regular contractions that are still barely there… last only for a couple of hours… most often comes after bumpy rides and gloved exams.

Oh, Gasp! Contractions – Regular, consistent, and yet they take your breath away every time.  More uncomfortable than they are painful.  You are able to drive a vehicle with these, but may not be able to concentrate on a story line of a book (Unless you are my friend, “Laverle”…who could probably read dangling from a tightrope upside down.)

Kicked In the Hoo-Ha Contractions – In my experience, these are what I experience as the next level after the OGCs.  It’s like the OGCs but feels like someone is kicking you… and you can feel it in your cervix-area a little.

Miss That Bump Or Die Contractions – These came for me after the KITHHCs.  It’s basically the last two combined plus a little more intense.  You can still walk and talk, but they make you a little breathless and you feel every bump in the road during these.  Driving may start getting a little dangerous during these…especially as they start moving to the next level.

Pull Over Contractions – They’re getting even more intense and still consistent and regular.  You can walk and talk…til you have the contraction, and then you feel the urge to grab something and hold on.  You can still stand and your legs will still walk afterward.  Just, during… you might have trouble catching your breath.  I wouldn’t advise driving during these.  Heck, I’m not sure I’d advise driving someone ELSE with these.

Wish You Were Dead Contractions – like the POCs… except you don’t feel like walking any more and this all went from exciting to angry stares in everyone’s directions.  Definitely not safe to drive.  Probably shouldn’t hold hard objects that can be thrown as well…

Wish I Were Dead Contractions – I think these are often called “transition” contractions.  It’s where you get to the “I can’t do this!” part and you probably start saying it enough with enough emotion that some people around you might start believing you too.  If you’re driving at this point, these will probably be your last contractions… so, seriously…pull the heck over, dummy.

…and those are the only ones I remember.  In a few weeks, I can probably tweak this list.  And, although I am undoubtedly one of the smartest people EVER… your doctor probably won’t know what you’re talking about if you mention these (which should show you how much smarter I am.  Clearly).

…Also, none of this is medical advice.  Well, not technically.

Welcome back!

No baby yet.  *Sigh*

This week at my appointment, I’d really hoped they would’ve told me I had progressed SOMEHOW, that I was either dilated more (I’ve been 1 cm dilated since last week) or effaced.  Something.  But, there was no change.  Steven will be going out of town soon and it scares me that I could go into labor without him.  Not that I couldn’t do it without him, but because I WANT him there.  I need him there for support.  Besides, who else can I make rude gestures and remarks towards that will actually think it’s kind of funny?  He’s the only person I can think of that I can threaten to stab his liver with a dull spoon and he finds it HUMOROUS – regardless of how serious I may be at the moment.  This is one of the reasons I love him.

So, I was hoping I’d basically progress on my own or be induced before he went out of town, thereby canceling his trip OR well…canceling the trip so he’d be with me and there’d be NO chance that I could have the baby over the few days he would be gone into a high security area with no cell phone service as a huge possibility – and miles away.

But, my doctor said I hadn’t progressed – DESPITE the fact that I all but drank 80 gallons of red raspberry leaf tea, squatted like a duck, and all but begged my husband to please just hurry up and have sex with me (and do it fast), because this baby needs to GET OUT NOW.  He’s been a trooper, let me tell you.  But, he understands…he was hoping he’d get to skip the “out of town engagement” as well.

Instead, I’m still 1 cm but have miraculously grown to 124 lbs.  This HAS to be water weight, now.  HAS to be.  I’ve been drinking TONS of water and herbal tea and MAN.  We won’t mention my last two trips to the chocolate factory.  Nope we won’t.  The rash is gone for now.  I ended up going to the doctor a day early last week and got a prescription refilled for the cream I had earlier in the pregnancy.  It took the stuff like 3 days to kick it, and I’m proud to say that I’m no longer slimy feeling…OR itchy!  I also think my skin is beginning to go back to it’s original state – more of a combination rather than “dry” and scaly…thank heavens!

False labor comes and goes here and there but mostly stops when I get up.  Mostly.  And, it never really gains intensity.  Except this morning.  THIS morning was contractions in my tummy rather than my back and felt more like knives instead of cramping and wowza, they hurt.  My legs and feet ached like crazy..but it all went away after a bit.  At this point, I really wish she’d come – but, I wish the contractions would either be the real thing…or not.  It’s killing my sleeping habits…you know, the habit of sleeping at night time?!

And, somehow…I’ve still been able to avoid the dreaded AWFUL heartburn I had last time.  Granted, I’ll get little twinges here and there but it’s NOTHING like I had with L.  Oh, and my favorite breakfast right now is homemade whole wheat waffles with carmelized bananas.  YUM.  Steven makes them for me and well, YUM.  I used to make these for Lorelei when she was a wee one and didn’t throw her food at me.

This past Tuesday, a friend of mine invited some of my closest friends to one of my favorite restaurants and it was soooo wonderful!  I love getting together with them all and was excited to be able to share that time with them since we all end up really busy with our own families.  Then, to top it off, they paid my check AND showered me with some VERY well thought out goodies!  These ladies know me – each and every gift was PERFECT.  I’m telling you.  PERFECT.  EACH ONE.  I’m so incredibly blessed and love them all so very much!

—–

And, now for something new:

————————THANKFUL THURSDAYS——————————–

Funny conversations.  Great friends who truly know you.   A husband who will wake up in the middle of the night just rub my back and sit with me when I’m hurting.  A God who loves me no matter what.  My crazy-awesome doula whom I LOVE.  Chocolate Factory Fudge.  Flamingo Row Shipwrecks.  My parents and brother and the rest of my family – some of the most loving and generous people I know.  My father-in-law, who would drop everything to come and see us.  Lorelei’s sweet kisses, hugs, and smiles.  The best church-family ever.  Indoor plumbing.  A place to let go.  Ability to hear with my heart even when my head won’t shut up.

…and for second and third and billionth chances…

It’s crazy to not have a doctor appointment today.  I’ve had my appointments on Tuesdays right after lunch pretty much since I became pregnant!  I thought for sure I’d have trouble remembering the appointment, but then there’s the whole I DON’T GET OUT MUCH thing, so this is like my big outing.  Yeh, sad, I know.  I look forward to Walmart trips too, and I know that makes me weird, too. 

Anyhow, at 37 weeks…

Occasional back-ache cramp type stuff go on.  Like period cramps, cept not.  Obviously.

Most days, I feel REALLY drained and exhausted and literally have no energy.  For anything.  You could tell me there was a cupcake on the counter and I wouldn’t even get up.  See?  THAT should tell you something.

The nausea.  It’s THISCLOSE to throwing up, but I don’t.  It’s random.  Sometimes it’s mornings, sometimes it’s during the day (like now), and sometimes it’s at night while I’m trying to sleep.  Sometimes it just kind of stays with me all dang day.  But, I don’t actually throw up.  The nurses have offered me more Zofran, but since I’m not losing lots of food and it’s mostly just a pain, I’d rather not take the extra medication.

The itchy rash.  It’s BACK!  The one that makes me want to peel my skin off.  They never really figured out what it was before, and I’m hesitant (again) to get the cream again just because I feel like it’s medicine that will also go to my baby and I really think I can tough it out for a few more weeks.  I’ll just whine all about it!  The doc’s office has since wished they’d gotten me in today rather than Thursday so they could check it out again but my calendar is kind of already full up until Thursday.

Standing hurts.  Sitting hurts.  Sometimes, even laying hurts.  I’m in the uncomfortable part now.  Sitting straight up makes me want to puke, and puts pressure where pressure isn’t really fun.  Standing feels like I’ve, what…got a kid’s head between my legs?  And, laying down gets uncomfy when the baby decides to lay all funky, taking my tummy with her and leaving me in a really weird position.

Tremors.  Actually, my belly (or should I say uterus?) has been VIBRATING occasionally.  I looked it up because when I ask people about it, I get weird looks.  It SERIOUSLY feels like she’s having seizures.  It’s not a wiggle or a roll or hiccups or little situating.  It lasts for like 10-15 seconds or so and is like seizures.  But then she acts fine.  I think L might have done this too and she’s perfectly fine.  So, yeh.  I don’t know what it is.

Vitamins make me sick, so I’m not really taking them right now.  (But I’ve upped my fruit/veggie intake)

I’m eating smaller meals more often.  Or trying.  I’m getting full-feeling faster.

Definitely have to pee alot.  As in frequently.  Like every 10 minutes sometimes.

I SO DID go buy a vinyl mattress cover because the thought of peeing in the bed or my water breaking in the bed freaks me out…only because this mattress is basically brand new and won’t fit in the washer.

The baby clothes have been brought downstairs and are now hanging on hangers.  Most of them.  …You know, the ones L hasn’t pulled off the hanger yet.

Everything else in this house looks like a disaster zone and I just want to sleep.  So, when do I get the surge of energy?  I have cloth napkins to make, a house to clean, and other stuff to make!  What the heck!

We still have a huge list of stuff to do… like pack the bags, install the carseat (and find the carseat), clean out the SUV, mow the shaggy lawn, and stuff like that.  Oh and clean the house.  Bleh.