Realize your spouse was never meant to be your everything.

However, God was.

Welcome back!

Remember that list of things you love about your spouse you wrote?  Re-write each one on a sticky note, saying ” I love…. (you fill in the blank)”  and stick them up for your spouse to find.  Then, take the original list and put it somewhere you will see it often to remind you.

Pray for your spouse today.  If you aren’t used to praying for your spouse, try it.  Start small if you need to.  You don’t need eloquent words and you don’t need an audience, just talk to God in your own way.  You’ll be amazed at what prayer can do.  Trust me on this one.

(PS – This is not one of those things you rub in someone’s face during a fight.  “Oh yeh, well I can’t believe I prayed for you today!  GAH!”)

Make two lists.  Make one list of at least 10 things you adore about your spouse.  Make another list of things you wish were different about your spouse.

Rip the second list up.  (Save the first for later)

You see, when you married your spouse, you CHOSE to love them.  THEM.  Not someone perfect, not someone flawless, THEM.  There will be bad times, there will be great times – and regardless which of those you are in right now, you can CHOOSE to love your spouse.  It doesn’t mean you have to like everything they do sometimes, but it does mean that you accept them and love them despite all of that…just like God chooses to love us with each of our flaws.  Recognize your spouse is human and practice loving them today!

Take a walk with your spouse.

Fresh air.  Increased circulation.  A common goal.  Quality time together.  Improved mood.  Exercise.  Yeh…I’m not really seeing any negatives to this.  You might even want to make it a common thing…

Today’s challenge was to share breakfast with your spouse.  I prepared you for that challenge yesterday afternoon, but if you didn’t get to do it…it’s not too late!  Pick a different meal to prepare for them and then share it with them and have some good conversation time.  Remember, it can be simple or complex, it’s up to you!  But, taking your spouse coffee or dessert or a snack counts too!  It’s the THOUGHT!

Today, your challenge is two parts:

One:  Send your spouse a note/letter/e-card to let them know you love them and are thinking about them.  It can be sexy, romantic…whatever you choose.  Take whatever you are easily comfortable with and stretch yourself just a little bit – if you’re comfortable with teddy bears dancing over a page, kick it up with a sweet romantic note.  If you’re already comfortable with that, try sexy.  I recommend this site if you want to send a quick e-card.  Also, post-it notes work great, too.  It doesn’t have to take 3 hours, just let them know you are thinking about them!

Two:  Plan to prepare and eat a breakfast with your spouse tomorrow.  This may take some creativity, so if your spouse is usually still in bed when you leave, you may need to allow extra room in your schedule to get up and dressed and bring breakfast to bed where the two of you can eat side by side.  Or, if your spouse leaves earlier than you, you may need to get up early to prepare something.  It doesn’t have to be gourmet, just thoughtful.  It could be as simple as granola bars and grapefruit (other ideas: yogurt, oranges, mixed fruit, bagels, pastries, donuts, etc) or as complex as bacon, eggs, biscuits, and the whole spread.  If your spouse is away, consider visiting them at work to have breakfast with them.  Breakfast is the first meal of the day (even if you don’t normally eat it), and as small as it may SEEM, it’s a great gesture to show you’re thinking about THEM.

In honor of my husband, I’m going to post 30 days worth of tips for a better marriage.  I know Valentine’s Day is LESS than 30 days away, but why stop at the holiday?  Why not keep going.  I challenge you to try these out and let me know what you think…if you believe your marriage couldn’t use any improvement, you’re probably either delusional or an incredibly selfish spouse.  So…try it…for experiment’s sake

Day One -

Check out THIS BOOK.  You won’t be sorry.  Even my husband swears by it.  And…if you’ve already read it, then you should check out and sign up for one of their conferences.  Let’s just say that even if you don’t think you have an issue in this department, this book will STILL bless you.  It’ll be the best $16.99 you ever spent.  I promise.

As part of my 2010 Resolutions, I promised MYSELF to paint more.  I have so many hobbies, so many things that I enjoy, so I promise myself to spend more of my time doing those things and less time doing things that make me anxious and unhappy.

With that in mind, I’d like to present to you my new portfolio/”gallery”:  http://bosssanders.blogspot.com

Check in often for updates, and watch for special art appearances from Lorelei (she’s found a new love for painting, also!)

Please feel free to leave comments, too.  Everybody loves getting comments on their blog…unless it’s mean, then keep it to yourself

Every year, I do some sort of “New Years Resolution” List.  I never pick just one thing, it’s always a list.  And, unlike half of America, I LOVE them.  Also, unlike half of America…I actually do pretty good with it.

I set goals, and then I work hard to obtain them.

This year, my list is shorter than the previous years, but still very important to me:

1.  SLOW DOWN.  I don’t need my day planned in 15 minute increments.  I don’t need to always be hurrying off to the next thing.  I promise myself to just relax and not to take on TOO much.

2.  SIMPLIFY.  I’m not going to the sparse end of the spectrum, but with this move, we’ve realized that we have a lot of stuff that we don’t need.  We plan to say “see ya never again” to some of it.

3.  READ THE BIBLE.  I crave more time with God and I want to dive into scripture but it overwhelms me to do it alone.  I tend to start stuff like this and then stop after a few months, but Sara and Sara are going to be my accountability sort of partners.

4.  USE A PRAYER JOURNAL.  I officially started this one today.  I pray…alot…but I want him to be my best friend, not just my “Oh crap, look what I’ve gotten myself into…HELP!” person.  I want the daily conversations with Him.

5.  PAINT. I plan to paint AT LEAST 12 paintings this year.  I am sure there will be more, but that’s all I’m holding myself accountable for.  I also plan to upload pictures of them and create an online portfolio sort of thing.  After that, we’ll see.  It may end up being just for me.

6.  TAKE MORE PICTURES. I don’t have nearly enough of my girls and they’re growing so fast!

7.  BACKTRACK. For a while, I was doing superb at using less and doing things healthier and from scratch.  When we moved, I kind of got jarred out of that for a bit.  So, I want to start with a few things…like going back to no paper towels, using jars and less plastic wrap and tinfoil, baking my own bread from scratch (and even shadowing Sara M!!), no toxic cleaners, etc.  New things I’d like to try include new types of breads and pastries and homemade pasta.  Oooh…and use my new dehydrator!

8.  COOK IN MY RIDICULOUSLY SMALL KITCHEN.  We have almost no counter space, but it really could be worse.  We saw a cute victorian several years ago that had room for a microwave and sink and that was about it.  It definitely could be worse, I’m just being whiny.

*end of list*

There are, of course, other things I’d like to do, but not things that I’ll classify as RESOLUTIONS – more like, “This could be fun” list.

Hey, now that’s an idea….