Posts Filed Under The way I roll

Reaching Out

by bosssanders on July 2, 2011 with 3 comments

There is this thing about (most) military wives – they don’t like to ask for help.

To many, it’s thought of as a character defect – as something they just need to learn to get over and “do.”

But, the truth is:  It’s what we’re taught to do.  We’re taught to stand brave and proud behind our men.  We’re taught that a good military wife is courageous, patient, resourceful, and when duty calls…self-reliant.  We’re taught from the inside, but more than that, it’s the outside world that teaches military wives these things.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget some of the things still being fought for when it’s not blaring at us from the news and it’s no longer front-page headlines.  It’s easy for communities to forget the sacrifices that many men, women, and children make when someone serves, especially in cities removed from military posts or bases.  But, forgetting doesn’t make the reality fade away.

A short time ago, I was having dinner with a friend as she related some of her struggles as a military wife to me.  Her husband was called up, leaving her pregnant and what felt like a million years away from him.  She didn’t live near post, and it didn’t take long for the emotions and daily tasks to become overwhelming without him there.  And too soon, the community and church that had vowed to watch over that military service member’s family…was mostly forgotten.  She was left mostly alone to deal with it all in a dark corner on her couch.

As she related parts of her story to me, I couldn’t help but feel disgusted.  I couldn’t believe people would just forget her.  I couldn’t believe I was one of those people.

You see, I hadn’t really connected with this special woman before, but I did know OF her.  I knew her husband was leaving.  I knew she was pregnant.  But, that was about it.  I could try to wash it away now with excuses:

Had I known she was hurting, I would have…

She never told me…

She never asked me for…

I thought others would step up… where were her friends?…

But, you know what the truth is?  Excuses…it’s all they are.  I didn’t know she was hurting because *I* didn’t call to find out.  I didn’t know how many people had virtually stepped off the grid because I wasn’t there to find out.

I learned the reality and frequency of happenings such as these when my husband had only just left for the first stage in his deployment.  It began as a kind question from a woman, “How are you doing?”  I smiled, forcing tears back as I told her he’d recently left.  “Ah, well…you’ll get over it.”  She said, “After all, you knew it would happen at some time or another.”

My heart froze, my face along with it.  And, in that moment (and many more to come), I finally realized something:  Not reaching out and asking for help is sometimes not a defect at all, but rather a learned response after having it all shoved back into their faces, time and time again.

I understand how easy it is to forget the families that serve.  I know that sometimes we believe they are doing just fine, and sometimes…we don’t even know how to help.  I know schedules are busy and overloaded and pockets run near empty sometimes.  But, I hope you choose to remember anyways.

To all of the men and women who have given up their lives for our country – MY FREEDOM – thank you.

To all of the men and women that have served and still serve.  To those of you who have given up not only being able to see your family and air-conditioning and good food, but also sometimes sacrificing an arm or leg (or more) — THANK YOU.

To the families, who go day in day out, serving their country quietly (or not-so-quietly).  To those of you who give up bedtime kisses and time with your loved ones.  To the wives who play the roles of both mommy and daddy, endure long days and longer nights, and comfort their crying babies when they want to be held themselves.  –THANK YOU.

To the brave children who stand behind their mommies and daddies as they do their jobs far away.  To the little tear-stained cheeks who trade Hershey kisses for mommy/daddy’s kisses as they wait for them to come home…  THANK YOU too  (You are a whole other brand of heroes to me!)

To the communities who diligently watch out for these families and soldiers, who do more than talk about supporting and loving and actually DO SOMETHING.  To the people who make it their mission not to let soldiers or their families fall through the cracks.  — THANK YOU

We live in a country that claims to be PROUD of our heritage and our men and women who got us here, but I pray that we become a country that is more ACTION than TALK – and that someday soon, someone’s service to this country and the sacrifice it involves will no longer be viewed as their problem/their choice but rather a community’s  blessing and chance to serve and be supportive.

I pray that each and every one of you have a happy and wonderful FOURTH OF JULY weekend – and if you haven’t already, that you’ll invite a soldier and their family, deployed family, veteran, or widow to your own festivities.

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bosssanders

A Glimpse Into My Day

by bosssanders on April 22, 2011 with 1 comment

Outside my window... Birds are chirping, and it’s warm outside.  Not that I’ve been outside, I couldn’t get my bed through the front door (not that I tried…ahem).

I am thankful… for help.  For people who listen and are there when I say I need it.

I am wearing…
a t-shirt that belongs to my husband.

In the learning room… All I can say is, you know I’m really sick when I’m bored to tears from all of the laying around, but won’t watch TV or read.  Just sleep (even if I’m not tired) because I don’t know I feel sick if I’m sleeping.

I am remembering… how last week and the week before I had to have help taking showers (i.e., I lay on the floor while my husband sprays me with the adjustable shower head)…and how I didn’t move from the couch or bed and couldn’t sit up almost at all.  I’m pretty sure THAT isn’t normal.   This week, I’m mostly taking my own showers, although I feel really weak toward the end and have to race toward the bed.  I’m glad it’s slowly improving, at least in that area…

I am going…
absolutely nowhere!  Well, maybe Sunday if my body allows, but babysteps, right?
On my mind... TOO MUCH.  Some big issues, but also how this house smells to my very sensitive nose and I just want to tear it down.  UGH.

Around the house...I want a new one.  :)   –One that is MINE and isn’t falling apart would be awesome.

One of my favorite things…
watching the girls play tickle wars with each other (where Rora sits on Lala) and they just giggle and giggle.  Also, well-ventilated rooms.  And, zofran.

Favorite quotes this week… “Rora, don’t kick your sister in the face.”  followed by Lala saying, “Mommy, she’s not kicking me, she’s just moving my face with her feet.”

New this week in pregnancy… lost 1.6 lbs.  Baby heartbeat at 154.  Low blood pressure just got lower?  And, ah yes…  I miss pooping.  That is all.

bosssanders
filed under The way I roll, pregnancy

Not Who I Was

by bosssanders on March 12, 2011 with 2 comments

“You know,” he began as we drove home, “I wouldn’t trade you and the kids for the world…but if I had it to do differently, I don’t think I’d have moved in with you when I did.”  –He was talking about 7 1/2 years ago, when I hastily asked my then-boyfriend if he wanted to move in.  Truth is, as soon as I’d said the words “Guess you could always move in here,” I’d regretted them, frantic at what my parents would think (not even taking the time to consider what I thought).  It was one of those you can’t go back now moments – someone was going to get angry and hurt no matter what.

“But if I had it to do differently…” The words echoed in my ears.  Truthfully, there are probably a million things I would love to be given a chance at a do-over in my life.  But then it occurred to me:   What if life wasn’t really made up of mistakes and victories, or failures and successes?  –What if it was simply a series of choices, some of which may not turn out quite the way we’d hoped? I’m not proposing that sin doesn’t exist (it does), but what if some of our less-than-great ideas weren’t really mistakes, just choices?

My husband had begun the conversation, meaning only that he would have waited.  He wouldn’t have been so hasty.  He would have saved his money and….  But, the truth is:  Neither of us were the people we are today.  Seven-and-a-half years ago, my sweet husband hadn’t yet learned some of the financial wisdom he now knows and understands.  Back then, he would’ve made promises to save for our future, but as soon as the first pretty toy came along, his savings would’ve been depleted.  I would’ve seen him as a flake.  Dishonest.  Bad news.  I wouldn’t have stayed around long enough to get engaged, and would probably not be with him today.  We wouldn’t have gotten married.  We wouldn’t have had the opportunity to pull through some really rough times together.  We wouldn’t have these two beautiful girls together…and we wouldn’t be building this amazing life together.

It’s easy to say from the outside looking in that the choices we made were a mistake.  And while some of the choices we’ve made may lack a certain degree of wisdom, proclaiming them a mistake is extremely short-sighted, because none of us can see from one brush-stroke what the masterpiece will be when it’s finished.

How silly is it to judge who I was (or others!) by who I am today?  Who I was 5 months ago is VERY different than who I am today…much less who I was 7 years ago.  Wisdom rarely comes easy, it’s our “mistakes” or the consequences of our choices that break us down only to build us up, making us stronger, wiser, and more compassionate people.

bosssanders
filed under Healing, The way I roll
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Thieves

by bosssanders on January 28, 2011 with 1 comment

Quick Introduction: Thieves oil is a blend of cinnamon, clove, lemon, Eucalyptus radiata, and rosemary essential oils that has been university tested and proven to kill 99.96 percent of airborne bacteria.

USES:

  • Use the cleaner to clean oil paints right out of the brushes
  • Help eliminate airborne bacteria
  • Help eliminate odors
  • Kill mold
  • Use as a disinfectant and cleaner for anything you’d use clorox wipes on
  • Use as a mopping solution
  • Clean your glass and windows
  • Use as an antiseptic
  • May be used as a dietary supplement to help with blood clots
  • Treat canker sores
  • Chicken Pox (add 20 drops to 1 T of calamine or V6 complex and dab onto lesions)
  • Treat colds (mix 50:50 with olive oil and massage across shoulders and neck and chest)
  • Congestive cough (add a few drops to a wet, warm wash cloth and use as a compress on chest 1-2x a day)
  • Diverticulosis/Diverticulitis (dilute 50:50 3-5 drops on lower abdomen 2 times daily. Can also use as a compress.)
  • Ear Infection – Dilute 50:50 in warm olive oil. Apply 2 drops to a cotton swab. Using the swab, apply traces to the skin AROUND the opening of the ear, but not in it. If you have the Thieves Antiseptic SPRAY, you can spray into back of throat cavity up to 5x daily
  • Epstein-Barr Virus
  • Food Poisoning – put in size 00 capsules and take 2-3x per day
  • Ringworm (Thieves Antiseptic Spray)
  • Gallbladder Infection – use in capsule, apply to body above gallbladder area, and/or use in a compress

**Please realize this list is not a comprehensive list. Thieves has MANY uses.

When listed above, I referred to several different products that contain thieves – the oil, the antiseptic spray and the household cleaner.

Although the thieves oil can be used in any of these situations (and diluted), I have found it to be more cost-effective to buy the Cleaner solution and the Oil.

Cost:

oil – 15ml for $41.78

concentrated cleaner – 14.4 fl oz. For $28.29

(My concentrated cleaner has lasted over a year and is still half-full!)


Please note: The oil is a therapeutic grade essential oil and CAN be ingested. However, the household cleaner is not meant to be ingested. The household cleaner is a safer alternative to typical household cleaners, not only does it not harm the body through normal cleaning, but it also provides positive benefits to your body (because it contains the essential oils).

If you would like to order the Thieves oil or Cleaner, you may contact me at

bosssanders (at) gmail (dot) com

DISCLAIMER:  Although we personally use Thieves and other oils in our home, we are not doctors.  Please do not take any of this as OFFICIAL medical advice.  Oh yeh, and…the FDA didn’t approve this blog post :)   (There, I think that covers it.)

bosssanders

“Favorite Books” List (2010 edition)

by bosssanders on January 13, 2011 with 2 comments

I actually wrote these posts in 2010…I’m just getting around to sharing the last of them :)

The books in this list were read by me in 2010 – not necessarily written in 2010.  I read probably triple what’s on this list, but these were my favorites…

52 Fantastic Dates For You And Your Mate by Claudia and David Arp – EXCELLENT book, filled with fun date ideas (many of them can be frugal AND expensive, depending on how you choose to embellish.)

Life Lines by Dave Meyer (Joyce Meyer’s husband) – Great book if you’re looking for some short devotionals to carry you through your day.  Not too preachy, not super in depth.  Short and sweet and lovely!

The Descent by Jeff Long – (also, Deeper by Jeff Long.  These are both a little spooky, but wonderfully gripping.  Occasional graphic-ness, but definitely two of my favorites!)

Sarah’s Key by Tatiana de Rosnay – a chilling Holocaust story, wonderfully written.

Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God by Francis Chan – If you ever doubt or wonder how much God truly loves you (I mean, truly…), check this one out.  It’s written so its reader doesn’t need a doctorate in theology or english to understand it and enjoy it.

Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From The American Dream by David Platt – Super good.  A must read.  –Especially if your name is Joel Osteen.  By the way, prepare to be a little uncomfortable as you read this book…but, it’s worth it!

Child of Wonder: Nurturing Creative and Naturally Curious Children by Ginger Carlson – You have kids?  Great, you need this book.

Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25, and the Search For The American Dream by Adam Shepard – Have you read Nickel and Dimed?  Great, because this is nothing like that.  Adam took the clothes on his back, $25, and only a few other items and gave up everything else…trying to see if he could make it back.  He lived in shelters and worse.  His story is one of courage and honesty…but most of all…inspiring.

Piercing the Darkness by Frank Peretti – It’s Christian fiction, and it’s really good.  Ever wonder what it’d be like to have angels and demons fighting over you?  After reading this book, you’ll discover it’s much like the life you already know…

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of  a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge – You’ll learn more about yourself than you ever knew in this one.

How To Hear From God by Joyce Meyer – Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to actually hear from God?  Wonder no more as Joyce takes you through this topic, step-by-step.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman – Whether you’re married, single, a parent, or whatever…you need this book.  Unless of course, you’re a hermit, then…nevermind.

The Last Oracle by James Rollins – Great piece of fiction.

Same Kind Of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore – I’m not even sure if you can read this and not be changed.  I’m just not even sure it’s possible.

The Girl Who Stopped Swimming by Joshilyn Jackson – an interesting smattering of characters combined with a plot that keeps you on your toes…what’s not to love?

Sundays At Tiffany’s by James Patterson – A love story between a child and her best friend, who happens to be imaginary.

Water For Elephants by Sara Gruen – Gruen did an excellent job of researching for her story.  This book will definitely leave you wanting for more!

What are some of your favorites?

bosssanders
filed under Reviews, The way I roll

Favorite Movies Of 2010

by bosssanders on January 13, 2011 with no comments

I’m well aware it’s 2011 already, but the end of 2010 went by in a blur.  I wanted to share some of my favorite movies from (meaning, when I watched them) 2010.  What were some of your favorites?  (By the way, the links link you up to their Amazon page if you start feeling like you desperately need to watch them NOW. – Which I recommend.)

Avatar

Tooth Fairy

Couples Retreat (2009, actually – but I didn’t see it until 2010 :) )

Ramona and Beezus

Inception

Yes Man (also 2009, but hey…sometimes it takes me a while to get around to the new releases :) )

bosssanders
filed under Reviews, The way I roll

Something(s) I’m Looking Forward To…

by bosssanders on November 8, 2010 with no comments

- watching a show with my husband…

- getting my craft on tomorrow…

- 2012.

- Signing the papers for my new house.

- healing and transformation.

bosssanders
filed under The way I roll

A Picture I Love – 14/30

by bosssanders on November 1, 2010 with no comments

I have lots of favorites, but I chose these for today.  I took these during our terrible ice storm (2009).  After the storm hit, there was a space of 24 hours where I couldn’t reach my husband, and anyone I managed to contact hadn’t heard from him either.  But, these photographs don’t JUST bring back memories of anxious waiting or trying to keep warm and fed.  They also stir up feelings…emotions of “places” I’ve been in life and the things I’ve pulled through.

bosssanders

Dream House – 13/30

by bosssanders on October 31, 2010 with no comments

Ah…this one is a bit more difficult for me.

I guess you could say I’m a bit non-committal on what my “dream house” would look like.  There are, however, some things I know I would love in my “dream house”:

  • An “open floor plan” for the living room, dining room, and kitchen.
  • A spacious updated kitchen with an island and a pantry (oh, my!)
  • 5 bedrooms, 2 of which would be “Master Bedroom” suites with attached bathrooms
  • 3 1/2 to 4 bathrooms
  • An AWESOME shower for my and hubby’s room – think tiled shower floors with multiple shower heads, and then a separate bathtub, something comfy to lie in and read would be great.
  • An attic for storage
  • French doors…lots of french doors
  • A beautiful patio and an in-ground pool (outside)
  • My “dream house” would sit on a few acres
  • Possibly, a finished basement

…and a dream house wouldn’t be a dream house if it wasn’t situated close to those I love.

bosssanders
filed under The way I roll

Favorite TV Shows

by bosssanders on October 29, 2010 with no comments

1.  House

2.  Grey’s Anatomy

3.  The Gates

4.  Rookie Blue

5.  Castle

6.  Psych

7.  Gilmore Girls (even though it’s all re-runs now)

8.  Private Practice

9.  Desperate Housewives

10.  Fringe

11.  Bones

12.  Brothers and Sisters

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bosssanders
filed under The way I roll