“You’re a genius!”  — I’ve heard it more than occasionally, and really, who am I to argue?  If enough people say it, it must be true, right?  Sure, sure.  We’re just gonna run with it.

Anyhow, do you ever get those AH-HA moments?  -Not the kind where you’re about to sneeze but then end up coughing or laughing.  No, I mean the AH-HA, a light bulb just went off in my head and ohmygosh it didn’t even short out!! kind of moments.

Yeh, well I don’t get those very often.  Probably because I’m a genius.  It’s hard being a genius, you know?  Sometimes you forget you know stuff and then you remember and suddenly it’s gone again because really, your head is just not big enough to hold all of this massive knowledge.   (Which might have to do with my constant headaches.  Note to self:  Google “genius headaches” because real geniuses don’t go to the doctor,  they’re supposed to make their medicine.  In their lab.  In their basement.  I don’t have a basement.  Crap.)

Anyways, stop distracting me.  I’m trying to tell you something.

Oh yes, it’s dangerous to be a genius.  Everybody wants your help.  And, sometimes, they just want you dead.  Like, for instance, the wasps under my porch steps.  I’m pretty sure they could be recruited by the military and earn some major ribbons for their ferociousness.  Seriously, these are some really pissed off wasps.  I bet they are part of the uncool group of wasps and probably weren’t allowed to hang out with the cool wasps, so now they hate the world.  And, they decided to hang out under my porch steps to see if they could assassinate us.  Because my whole family is made up of geniuses…it runs in the family or something.

Anyhow, I know all of this because Lorelei came up the steps and a huge SWARM of wasps pummeled her.  I saw 4, but it was probably because I was distracted with solving algorithms in my head, so I missed seeing the rest of the swarm.  I pulled her and the baby to safety but it was too late.  They had gotten Lorelei.  And, these things must be freaks.  Freak wasps because their stingers are HUGE and left a gaping hole in her leg.  That might be why they’re so mad.  I’d be mad if I was a freak wasp, too.

I pulled her up onto the couch and she was all “I’m DYYYINNNGGG, they’re trying to KIIILLLL MEEEEEEE!” in her little toddler wail as she held on to her leg.  I didn’t really know what to say, because she’s probably right.  Not about the dying part, but it probably was an assassination attempt.  I called my mom because DUDE, doesn’t everyone call their mother after someone tries to kill them and their family?  I mean, I would’ve called my body guard, but nobody seems to want that job.  Probably because my life is so dangerous, you know…being a GENIUS stay at home mom and all.

Mom said I should put a baking soda paste on it and I was all like “PBBTTT  They’re expecting that!  And…I have a black couch!!”  So, I looked in my arsenal of things and brought out the activated charcoal.  Everybody has activated charcoal in their medicine cabinets, right?  I mean, you never know when someone might try to gas or poison you.  Come on people, be smart!  Gosh, there I go again, forgetting I’m a GENIUS and not everybody is as smart as me.  Sorry bout that.

Then, in an effort to make Lorelei feel better, mom came over and brought an assortment of goodies.  I tried convincing her that a parfait from McDonalds would make us ALL feel better, but she clearly disagreed (that, and apparently the cars in line at McD’s didn’t understand that it was an emergency, so they wouldn’t just move the heck out of the way.)  At the bottom of the bag, there were 2 cans of spray.   YEH!  Protection!  Retaliation!  LET’S KILL THEM and AVENGE MY BABY’S LEG!  YEAH! Wait, why does this say ant spray on it?  I looked at her through squinty eyes, trying to figure out if she thought this was funny or if perhaps, she’d lost it.  “All I had was ant spray and it worked for me!”  She said.  So, most likely, I have ant wasps…no wonder they’re ticked off.

Anyhow, I made a black charcoal paste and it took the swelling down.  But it was only temporary.  A day later and half her leg was swollen and icky.  Tricky poison!!  So, I put more paste on it and today…it looked like this:

The swelling and redness had gone down, but what’s that?  TWO sting entrances?  Awesome.  (Poor kid.)

In other news, Aurora is cutting her two top first molars.  TWO.  One on each side.  I was going to share a picture for her, but I really didn’t think you all would appreciate seeing the diarrhea diapers this produces.

You know you’re in trouble when your toddler runs into the bathroom while you’re trying to take a shower in peace and yells “MOMMY!  Aurora is getting poop all over her blankets!!!” – and then the flashbacks of a baby smeared in poop pop through your brain.

*Sigh*  Being a genius sucks.  I quit.

Welcome back!

I was looking at our homeschool “plan” for this week and saw INTRO TO MONEY among the list, along with CARING FOR PLANTS and a few other random things I’d like Lorelei to learn about.  And, as I brainstormed on how I would approach these subjects this week, I had an idea:

Excuse the chore chart.  I didn’t have the chores pre planned out, so I didn’t realize I’d have time-specific type chores that should go in order.  We’ll probably be re-doing the chart later.

HOWEVER, the little graphics have been super helpful.

Every chore on the chart has a color beside it, which corresponds to a pom-pom.  The pom-poms begin the day in a small empty baby food jar.  As she completes a chore, she gets to move one pom pom from the jar to the “completed” jar (which is just another baby food jar but with a butterfly sticker in the bottom).

Once she completes all chores for the day, she gets an “allowance.”

All of her allowance is then put into her money “jars” – which is a set of three jars that I color coded with ribbons for the following :  SAVING (10 percent), GIVING (10 percent), and SPENDING (80 percent).

Right now, we started at $1 a day.  Because we can but ALSO because:

• $1 is easiest to explain the 10,10,80 rule we’ve implemented.  It’s simply 10 cents, 10 cents, 80 cents.
• Her “savings” (for now) is going to a fund she can’t touch until she’s older.  Think of it as her college fund.  Or, her car fund.  Or, whatever.  I don’t particularly like the idea of paying for my kids way to college or buying them brand new cars as soon as they get their drivers licenses, but I also don’t believe in pushing them out of the nest completely on their own.  I do believe in teaching them responsibility and giving them the tools so they don’t take it for granted.
• $1 is a LOT of money for a preschooler.  I agree.  Especially when they’re getting it daily for chores, BUT she is going to be using some of her money for necessary things…like special snacks and new clothes she wants.  Essentially, we’re giving her the money that we’d normally spend on her in one way or another and letting her have more responsibility (although it will be very monitored and guided).  For example, she has already told me that she plans to spend her first bit of money on a storage tote.  Yes, a storage tote for her extra toys that are over-crowding her room.  Oh, and shoes.  Pink shoes.
• This $1 won’t necessarily change, up or down, depending on her age.  She’ll get more responsibility as she gets older but the amount will change as we see fit (if it does at all).
• It’s not all about the money.  It’s about responsibilities.  It’s about teaching about money and how to use it as a tool (rather than let it become a thorn in your side).  It’s about teaching skills in the form of “chores.”  It’s about letting her be more independent and helping her feel important.  It’s about showing her that being part of a family means we all take part in doing things…even if it’s just watering the plants.  It’s all important.

So, there you go.  Our Pre-schooler’s chore chart –which she is super excited about.

Hello Friends,

After offering Simply Fun Ebook last time, and receiving a load of emails from folks who had either missed the deadline or had forgotten to put me in their “safe list” (thus, their book going to spam) …and even a few folks who sent in wrong emails…I’m offering up this chance again.

I was incredibly sad to hear that after almost 36 hours of work, many people STILL weren’t getting their ebooks, so I’m wanting to make sure that you can get it NOW.  Unfortunately, last time…my bright idea of EMAILING the ebooks individually didn’t go as planned.  Sure, I emailed them all out (although a lot came back due to full inboxes, wrong emails inputted, and other errors), but it took SO long – and to not have those go through, or to have them go through to spam was a bit disheartening.  On top of that, my google email account shut me out (so if you tried emailing me about ebooks and didn’t get a response, THAT is why!  Sorry!)  But, I have come up with a better way.  I have added a new newsletter function that is separate from my email and should AUTOMATICALLY (without me!! ) add everyone that signs up and after a certain amount of sign up time, I’ll just send along a newsletter with a link for the download!  Cool Right?  Here’s the details:

This time, please sign up for my newsletter HERE.  If you’ve already signed up, you’re good.  (This is NOT the same as my RSS feed or having me in your google reader.)    A link for downloading the ebook will come to your email via my newsletter (to those who sign up within the allotted time frame).

PLEASE make sure you spell your email correctly, that you have my email in your safe list, check your spam, and make sure your email is FUNCTIONING (not full or won’t be down).  This newsletter will only be sent out once and will not be re-sent.  Also, if you have friends that you believe would be interested, feel free to direct them to this post so they may also sign up.

The DEADLINE was originally Saturday 8/14 Midnight CST but has been extended until 8/21/10 Midnight CST.  So, sign up and send this to everyone/anyone you think would be interested so they can get in!

**If you find this post but the deadline is up, I encourage you to still sign up for the newsletter as I often email out great opportunities posts that may interest you!  You may also find a link to purchase any of my ebooks immediately and directly from my website for $2-3.

**Just a note, I don’t sell or trade my email lists EVER.  And, you always have the option to unsubscribe.  I also don’t flood inboxes with a massive amount of newsletters.  What WILL you get in my newsletters?  –Just some really cool updates as they come along – generally new contests and freebies or new ebooks or tutorials or BIG news that I’m excited about.  But, I try to pack it into one occasional newsletter

Enjoy!

Ashley

*Yes, I am aware that my child looks a little homeless.  I assure you her hair was brushed right AFTER this picture.

What?  You don’t put up photos of your children with wet, un-brushed hair and bubba teeth?

I used to be one of those moms who was all “Oh yeh, I’ll never lie to my kids.  I’ll just only tell them what they specifically ask when things get sticky.”

*snort*  Yeh, that didn’t last long.

You know, we thought we were just SO friggin’ smart when we took away her pacifier and let her “find her thumb” – as if it was lost.  We figured, “Oh hey, now she can’t lose it!”  -And, well, at least that part was true, but after she turned 3, it wasn’t something we were so excited about.

Like any good parents, we did the bribery thing.  “Lorelei, let’s not suck your thumb and then we can get you a baby mermaid, okay?”  Being the master negotiator that she is (she IS my daughter, after all), she eyed me suspiciously.  “You’re going to get me the whale?”

“No, honey.  Mommy will get you the Ariel princess baby mermaid.  Won’t that be FUN?!”  (said a little too excitedly that even the baby knew I was exaggerating)

“Yeh.  The Princess whale.”

(I tried not to grin.  Oh, she is my daughter! – And, I could completely see her point.  Ariel IS almost a whale.)  “Yeh, her.  But, only if you stop sucking your thumb!  Okay?”

“Okay!” She declared, “Look!  I no suck my thumb!  Where’s my whale?”

I quickly clarified that she had to stop sucking her thumb PERIOD.  Then, it became a no-deal.  Not even princess whales were worth that.

Then, like any good parent, I upped my tactics and went with the bittertastingthumb.  She just frowned and sucked more vigorously.  FAIL.

We tried making it a rule, where thumb sucking was no longer allowed.

We tried to reason with the kid, telling her that if she kept sucking her thumb, her teeth would look funny and her finger would be all yucky.  She wasn’t too concerned.  Oh, she talked about it nonstop with questions, but she did it between sucking.

Our pediatrician even told us that if we were worried enough, we could do the hand cover that she’d wear for several months CONTINUOUSLY that would keep her from physically putting her thumb into her mouth.  That seemed a little barbaric to me, so we decided to wait.

I’d finally given up, figuring I’d have a 17 year old thumb-sucker when she asked,

“What’s this?”  Pointing to the nasty callous on her thumb.  I think my head may have dropped into my hands at that point, not ready for ANOTHER thumb-sucking conversation that would end with… thumb sucking.  My husband, without missing a beat, picked up the conversation.

“It’s where you’re sucking your thumb off.”

“I am not!”  She said, horrified at the accusation she’d just been charged with.

“Yep, if you suck your thumb too much, it’ll just fall off!”

Eying him suspiciously, she turned to me, “Mommy, is my thumb going to fall off?”

“Um, just listen to your father!”  I said too brightly, hightailing it out of the room to fill up my already full glass of water.

She placed her thumb in her mouth, eyes on us, then took it back out.  “Can I suck my thumb?  Is it going to fall off?”

“That’s up to you!  You can suck it if you want to, but it might fall off if you do!”

The seed was planted.

And so it was:  If you suck your thumb, it might fall off.

A few days later, in the van:

“Mommy?  What’s that?”  She said, pointing to a series of ambulances zooming past with their sirens blaring.

Without missing a beat, I replied, “Probably someone’s finger fell off….  Lorelei!  Check your thumbs!  Are they still there?”

She pulled out her thumbs (which were attached).

“Phew.  That was close.”  I said, as my mother gave me a sideways glance from the driver’s seat and mouthed “Whattheheck?”

Yep.  Parenting at it’s finest.

In related news:  Lorelei no longer sucks her thumb!

I’ve been trying to pour my energy into something … productive.

SIMPLY FUN – A collection of simply fun activities for your 2-3 year old

LINK HERE.

And, with that said, I’m giving away FREE COPIES to the first 30 people anyone who responds to this by comment or email (today only).  (Although, if you don’t get in with the first 30, you can still buy your own copy for only $2!)

UPDATE:  Due to the GREAT and quick response, I will be giving away FREE copies of this ebook to anyone who responds today, by midnight CST.  (Although, please give me a bit to get it to you – like, between nap times and such – since I’m sending these out individually!)

UPDATE 2:  This giveaway is now CLOSED.  If you would still like to receive a copy, they are available for purchase at only $2!  Those who purchase ebooks should receive them almost immediately.  If you are waiting on your free ebook from the giveaway, please be patient.  I’m sending them out in manageable clusters during my breaks and have sent out approximately 200 so far.  If you absolutely can’t wait, you can get your copy immediately for only $2

2 minutes. 

That’s the amount of time I let the baby and toddler out of my sight so I could start a new load of laundry.

2 minutes.

That’s the amount of time it took for Lorelei to use the big girl potty and for Aurora to follow her into the bathroom.

2 minutes.

That’s all it took.

And, that’s about when I walked in to find my 3 year old looking on, horrified, as her one year old sister fished her hand into the potty, apparently trying to catch her sister’s…

poop.

Yeh, I said it.

That’s definitely NOT what I expected to find.

(The good news is, I walked in just as it happened…so, she didn’t have time to take her paci out of her mouth.  And no, she didn’t catch anything.)

ONE

A couple of weekends ago, we visited some friends out of town.  While we were there, we were able to experience two different groups of married couples.  Each group was…well, it’s hard to explain, it was unlike anything Steven and I had really encountered before.  It was a group of people from different churches, all couples coming together to celebrate God and their marriages.  Each couple shared their difficulties and their triumphs.  But, the most amazing part was the depth of the things that were being shared, and the accountability that followed.

And, we were inspired.

“How do we do this…at home?”  We asked.  After a lot of discussion, we realized it might be near impossible at home to implement such a group with such security and commitment quickly, and we seriously entertained the idea of moving CLOSER to that group, just so we could have that for ourselves.

For those of you that know us, you would know Steven and I have had a really difficult go at the last (and first) 5 years of our marriage.  It’s been rough, beyond rough.  There have been times when counselors, marriage therapists, and even peers have told us that there was just no way, that the problem was too big.  I kept looking everywhere for answers.  I searched the internet and found a group of people who had gone – and were going through – some of the same things I was.  It put a “name” with some of the “symptoms of the problems”.  I scrolled down, reading each post, tears sliding down my cheeks as I could relate to each and every one.  I had found it.  This would be my answer!  This would tell me what to do!  But, it didn’t.

Instead, it told me the same thing almost everyone else had: Somethings never change.  Better to cut your losses now.  And, on some level…I found myself agreeing.

But, one thing held me back.  I KNEW God had brought us together.  Without a doubt.  And, to give up would mean that I’d be doubting my God and facing the possibility that He’d paired me with the wrong man.

Not ONCE did I seriously take into consideration praying for my husband.  Sure, there were a couple of women who had suggested it to me, but they were also living lives completely different than mine – they believed wives were almost inferior to their husbands, that a man could even HIT them, and they must stay.  So, I didn’t take them seriously.

Now, I can tell you our marriage has changed much.  Sure, we still deal with the aftermath of 5 years worth of storms, but we’re piecing things together, we’re healing.

What changed?

One day, God told me something.  He told me that one day, I would come back to that message board I had found and I would be a voice of hope.  I would be able to give Glory To God for a repaired marriage that no man could fix.  What changed was that at some point, I realized that God needed to be invited back into our marriage because I COULDN’T FIX THIS.  BECAUSE OUR MARRIAGE WOULD FAIL WITHOUT HIM IN IT.  –THAT, NO AMOUNT OF “SELF -HELP” WOULD FIX THINGS.  ONLY, GOD-HELP.

With that realization, both Steven and I have found a desire in our hearts to help other people in their marriages.  First, we thought about a Bible Study for married couples…or, a class…but, neither of us felt like we could do it any justice.  After all, our marriage is still far from perfect.  Better…recovering…but so much work left to do!

Then, after deciding that even these small groups would be near-impossible to recreate without YEARS of relationships, God spoke.

He gave me the details:
-8 couples ONLY
-No children allowed in the room
-One night a week, to begin each time with a meal
-Young AND older couples

I tried to brush it away, knowing that most of the people I know would either be too uncomfortable or too busy to want to really commit.  Finding 8 couples would be like trying to find 16 people who would joyously allow me to pull their teeth.  This group would be about making changes in their marriages.  It would be at times difficult and possibly even, embarrassing.  It would require strangers to commit themselves before each other and God to their spouses, God, and each other.  This wasn’t like asking a bunch of people over to play wii and eat free food (much easier to do).  It would mean that we would be truly accountable to each other and ask each other the difficult questions and give difficult answers.

AND, to top it off…who are we to lead a group based on marriage?   – Couldn’t it be on something else?

And then, He told me that I had it all wrong.  My job was simply to invite the people, He would get them to come (those that were supposed to).  And, my job was NOT to lead the group, just set it up…HE would lead it.

So, I listened.  I began inviting people.  And within a few hours, a group was formed.  I thought it would take forever to get it going, and now I’m fearing we’ll have to tell people we’re full!  We have only a few more openings left, but I think that has more to do with hearts being in the process of being molded.  I invited those I was told to and the rest?  Will be up to Him.

God is amazing!

TWO

In the past couple of weeks, Lorelei’s attitude seemed to have gotten crazy.  Whining, back talk, issues in obedience, ignoring…all of it.  My sweet little girl seemed to have suddenly gone a little wild.  My anxiety began mounting, going through the roof.  Then, a friend mentioned a book.

I don’t think it was a coincidence at all.  A God-incident maybe.

To Train Up A Child is the book, and while I don’t necessarily agree with everything it outlines, we’ve adapted our own parenting style and beliefs and have adopted those.  In less than 30 minutes, there was a difference!

I read that “popping” a child on the behind with your hand can misalign the child’s spine – regardless if there is a padded diaper.  It’s the impact.  So, we stopped using that.  Instead, we have begun smacking her hand, but the real difference is that INSTEAD OF WAITING UNTIL I’M TO MY BOILING POINT, I “TRAIN” HER WITH EVERY INFRACTION, NO MATTER HOW SEEMINGLY INSIGNIFICANT.  Before, I would let certain things go.  I would follow through if I said she’d receive some form of correction, but I was afraid that punishing her for  every  little infraction made me impatient, that it made me a bad mommy.  What I didn’t realize was that by letting her to even the tiniest little things, I was letting rebellion breed in her little heart.  Granted, most of her “rebellion” is pretty small stuff…nothing hateful.

The book that I’m reading is a very rod-oriented book, and while I am not comfortable using a “switch” or a belt on my sweet 2 year old, we will have to incorporate something extra for when the hateful acts begin (IF they do). But, I was thinking more…fly-swatter.  I’m praying that will work.  And while I have trouble with a few parts of the book, there was one thing amazing Pearl mentioned – that it’s SO important to break their (defiant/stubborn/rebellious) WILL, but NOT their HEARTS.  In practice, that means they have to know how to behave, know to obey, but that you don’t spank and spank them into submission without loving them.  It doesn’t mean you beat your kids so they’ll fear your word, it means you train them (even if it means a little discomfort) so they can hopefully bypass a lot of potential misery and pain. It means you do it calmly, never when angry. It means you take the time to get to know them and develop a relationship with them.  And, it means…you know when and where to stop.

For us, the “hand spank” as we call it is working awesomely.  Lala has begun to realize that if she chooses to break the rules, there will be a consequence.  The thing that surprises me most, though,is that I am less stressed and training her MORE means less discipline for her.  She knows that any rebellion at all will lead to the same thing, and she’s calmed down.

And, the hugs she gives me (even right afterwards) lets me know we’re on the right track.

It must be a funny (pitiful) sight to see me “running.”  Really, it’s almost amusing at how quickly I become out of breath as I try for the first time in my life to really start running.  I was told running would be hard, that it’d take months – if not years – for it to really integrate itself so well into my life that I could actually relax as I run.  That’d be nice.

But, for now, I’ll feel like I’m about to die as the breath is sucked straight out of my lungs and the cold air burns them instead.

The funny thing is that I’ve been CRAVING running.  It sucks while I do it, but then I can’t wait to do it again.  Maybe I’ve just developed a masochistic personality.

Regardless, I’m trying to drag Steven into my new lifestyle.  It’s something we’ve talked about for …since we’ve been married, but we never seem to keep up the whole “active lifestyle” for more than a couple of weeks.  This time, I bought a board game (called The Fitness Challenge) and it seems pretty cool.  The main idea for the game is to try to get in 3 workouts a week and there are points and prizes (real ones) and all that jazz…

I’m feeling particularly pumped that so far this week, I’m winning.  The bad news is that that’s because Steven hasn’t done a workout this week yet (which is okay, he still has 5 days).  The good news is that I’ve gone from working out 3 days a week, to trying to cram more in.  Like 4 days a week.  I’ve started dabbling in p90x.  Dabbling, because most of the system depends on a pull up bar, which requires a sturdy door frame.  I don’t really trust these door frames and am not committed to losing our security deposit over a freakin pull up bar.  My walls are made of some really sturdy cardboard (not wood), so I really doubt the doors and frames were splurged on.  In fact, I have a sneaky suspicion half of this place was super-glued together (which I may or may not have done some of the repairs myself).

I was feeling rather confident after I finished my p90x Ab Ripper with no pain or soreness.  I felt like a superstar (that had been jipped of a workout) when I felt nothing the next day.  But 2 days later, I feel it.  It may have something to do with the extra pushups I did and the run…but, when Steven asked me to scoot underneath the baby bed in order to reassemble it, I suddenly realized that most of my muscles were on fire.  Except my feet.  My feet seemed fine.  That was it.

In other news, you really can RUN through a bank drive through to deposit money.  And yes, that was me.  I like to multi-task (and they’d already locked the front doors).

In more news, the baby’s bed has been moved to the girls’ room.  Lorelei is ecstatic and at 7:30am, they both woke up and were giggling and having fun.  I’m excited, yet…not…why can’t they sleep til noon?

In even more news, Lorelei is nonstop hungry.  I’m happy she’s eating but am now wondering if this is a developmental stage or one really large tapeworm.

Lorelei,

You are 2 years and 9 months old.  You’ve mastered the fine art of dressing yourself (except for shirts, they’re pretty confusing).  You adore watching shows and have somehow developed a little smarty pants attitude.  And then, there’s the whining.  Somehow, you instinctively know that if you repeat the same word in the same whiny voice, it’ll drive anyone near you CRAZY.  You adore playing dress up and shopping and girly things like: new clothes, lip balm, fingernail polish, and shoes.  You still like taking showers and baths and look forward to bedtime stories (even if you do try to get out of the bedtime part of it).  You have a new obsession with gum and have started eating normally again.  You went from eating very little to continuously saying, “Mom, I hungry!”  Things you’ll eat right now are:  yogurt, fresh fruits (pineapple and blueberries and mandarin oranges are your favorites), pasta, pizza, and the like.  We’re trying to keep things healthy for you – little or no chips, soda and candy.  You don’t seem to mind too much, except for when you see someone else eating them.  Potty training is kind of…not really happening.  Which, has more to do with me than you, I think.  We did the big kid panties one day and you peed 6 times in 2 hours, and I realized I’d have to attach a potty to you to keep up with you.  You love playing outside in your little cars and love playing inside with your barnyard uno and candyland games.  And, then…there’s your sister, whom you adore.

Aurora,

You are 8 months old now.  You eat “solids” (2nd stage) and have started to crawl.  I started feeding you solids later than I could have because I ‘m a little reluctant for some reason.  Your favorite thing EVER is your sister.  You now hate the bumbo or anything else that keeps you from roaming around.  You throw major tantrums when we lay you down for a diaper change, and sometimes holding you is all that makes you happy.  With that said, you’re still a happy baby.  You are now sleeping the majority of the night in a swing.  You wake up to eat and we let the batteries run down so it only swings you at first.  Soon, you’ll be practicing spending the night in your crib, after we move it to your sister’s room.

Girls,   I love being your mommy and feel so blessed day in and day out…even through the tantrums (yours and mine) and meltdowns.  I love listening to you, Lorelei, as you try to express your thoughts with words, and how you try to incorporate things you’ve heard us say (even when it’s not the best word usage on our part).  As I watch the changes in each of you, as you morph into two distinct personalities, I wonder what’s in store for us.  And, I hope you always remember this feeling…

Of sisterly love…

1.  Regardless that you never stuffed your bra in highschool, you might suddenly find yourself doing so.  You may even want to buy stock in nursing pads, I’m just sayin’…

2.  My number one requested item on my baby shower list POST-BABY?  Fitted sheets…because um, yeah.

3.  Right after that?  Towels.

4.  Cabbage leaves?  Don’t work.  Unless you WANTED to smell like rotten yuck, then of course, by all means…

5.  The La Leche League leader was quite possibly born with no feeling in certain areas of her body.  Or, it’s a man.  Because, I can think of no other logical reason they would tell you that it won’t hurt at all…unless you’re doing it wrong.  Because it will.  Badly (if it’s your first).  But, it DOES go away in a couple of weeks.

6.  They sell books on positions…for nursing.  Most of which, might be dangerous with a newborn – and a very sleep deprived mama.  (Plus, I found it hard to do some of them just because of logistics…until she was a little older…so don’t feel bad if you have a little trouble.  It’s not just you.  It could quite possibly be just me, though.)

7.  A sexy nursing bra?  HAHAHAHAHA.

8.  By the way, you’ll have to replace those suckers (nursing bras) quite a lot if you get one that’s more substantial than a bit of cloth – which I suggest you buy unless you just love wet spots (which are apparently not sexy to most men.)

9.  You don’t have to buy the specialty nursing tops…but it sure makes things easier at first when you’re learning how to be discreet and not show everyone your stuff.

10.  Pretty evening wear doesn’t usually equal nursing friendly.  Actually, it makes things kind of difficult.  It may end up resembling something like a chunky cloth necklace in a locked backroom before the evening is over.

11.  Some people are stupid and think it’s okay to suggest you should feed your baby in the bathroom.  It is 100% fine to tell them that you will feed your child in the bathroom after you see THEM eat their meal from on the toilet.

12.  Although your husband might have faked remorse over not being able to share the nightly feedings with you, he may not actually jump in when it finally comes time for solids.  Occasionally, it is normal for a man to forget how to do things…you know, like hold a baby spoon.

13.  There is a fine line between nourishing your sweet child and becoming a human pacifier.  It’s up to you where you stand on that one, and you may find yourself weakening your resolve.  Like, in order to get some peace and quiet before your head explodes, for example.