Random Thoughts – A Bulleted List

by bosssanders on November 6, 2011 with no comments

My thoughts swirl around these days.  Or, at least today.  I can’t honestly tell you how my thoughts went yesterday.  They are THAT swirly.

  • Lala comes up and looks at a page I colored in her coloring book and says, “Wow! That looks great, mommy! “. Before I can thank her, she says, ” but in a minute, I’m gonna do it even better.”.   <–If she wasn’t 4, I’d say she’s being arrogant.  But, she IS 4 and she really was giving me a compliment.  She makes me laugh.
  • Another quote from Lala (she asked her sister this when she was trying to figure out which activity would be next):  “Would you like to play toss the dog or chase the goat?”
  • I’m thankful for the bills I have to pay (and being able to pay them)… it means I have running water, heat during cold months, and lights. I’m thankful for my girls’ smiles…but also for their tears…because it means they CAN cry. I’m thankful for crappy internet connections because even though it means that I may only get spotty conversation with my husband MAYBE once a week, it’s still more than if we were relying on mail alone. I’m thankful to have the opportunity to miss my husband – it means I have a great father for my children, a husband who I love enough to miss, and a marriage that has been through hell and back (commitment). I’m thankful for days like these, where staying in bed seems like the best option, because in the end it means I’ll be better for it and I’ll be able to love and relate to others more deeply.
  • I’m so very thankful for the family and friends who have been helping me feed my little family during this time.
  • If you ask how I’m doing “in passing” (like at Walmart or on Facebook or in front of a crowd), my answer is usually the standard “we’re okay,” “fine,” or “good.”  If you want to REALLY know how I’m doing or how my week was, ask me privately.
  • I don’t really understand what people mean when they ask if I’ve talked to my husband.  Have I talked to him in 6 months?  Yes.  Or, do you mean to ask if we’ve talked today?  And, does “talk” include a text from facebook or do you mean “talk” as in a 2 hour skype session?  The answer to the last one is no… never.
  • I am both terrified and excited at how soon this baby is coming.  On one hand, I feel awful physically from the contractions and I would really like to hold my baby.  On the other, it also means that our son will be here for longer before he gets to meet his father.  It also means I’ll have 3 children here without my husband.  I’m ALREADY exhausted…what am I supposed to do then?
  • Being accused unfairly of something sucks.
  • I am a big ball of emotions – overwhelmed by gratitude but also, sadness…all at once.  I thought it wasn’t possible to have both…but apparently it is when you’re pregnant.
  • Speaking of “balls,” it looks like I’m hiding one under my shirt.
  • I’m exhausted.  I think I’m coming down with something…again.  Then again, maybe I’m just pregnant and run-down.
  • “Gentle Baby” by Young Living (essential oil) makes me feel like a cat around catnip.  Seriously.  I was never crazy about the smell til a few months ago, and now it’s like some drug.  I just want to pour it all over.  It’s really weird, actually.
  • It feels really nice to be able to actually buy Christmas gifts for our kids this year.  Our budget is small compared to most, but we have one.  I’m excited not to have to worry about trying to make everything (as much as I love creating, I just have NO ENERGY…and after several years of doing it, I feel like I’m cheating them).
  • I’m excited that most of the gifts (except maybe a couple of stocking stuffers) have been ordered and are on their way – AND were found through some great sales and free shipping!
  • I’m a little bummed that I’ve had to miss out on all of these fun holiday parties so far… because of the contractions and how I’ve felt, we’ve mostly cleared our calendar (including the kids’ activities).  I’m glad for the rest but feeling a little stir-crazy sometimes too.
  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pregnancy photographs my friend did for us so we could capture the “happier” part of pregnancy.  With the deployment, pregnancy complications, and other things… I didn’t want to remember just the bad that came.  I wanted to remember the good parts and I wanted to share it with my husband who missed most of it.  I’m so grateful to her and love her fabulous work.
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