77 to 100

by bosssanders on February 27, 2011 with no comments

Still counting… 77 to 100:  Friendships that weather the storms. Intricacies of life.  The calm before the storm.  The cheerful songs of birds.  Fun music welcoming me home.  The promise of Jeremiah 29:11.  Never really having to be alone.  Porch swings and gentle breezes.  Bathroom ambushes.  Tufts of bright green grass.  Slow comfort seeping through my veins.  Quiet time.  Senses of humor.  Conquering love – love that conquers.  Treasures amidst the rubble.  Warm embraces.  Family.  Compassionate people willing to serve.  My favorite purple scarf with tiny poof ball fringe.  Shelter in the storm.  The smell of steaks cooking on someone’s grill.  The ability to forgive.  Being forgiven.  The gentle rock of a porch swing.

The past few days have been…trying.  From harsh words to a beating heart, stilled…to bad news and even more complexities in an already uncertain situation.  Ah yes, trying.  Tough.

But, even as the tears rolled down my cheeks, I kept counting.  I kept being thankful.

Then, there was yesterday and I could feel the adrenaline leveling out, leaving me at some low place with little to say, and only the past day’s events circling through my head.

But today, as I sat on my porch swing, journal in hand, I forced myself to name at least one thing I was thankful for.  And with that first scribbling of ink, many more poured out of me.  Thanksgiving poured out, and yet I was filled up.  Amazing, how that is.

Storms are moving into our area, potentially devastating and frightening storms, but for the moment, the weather outside is calm and warm.  It  reminds me a lot of how I feel my life is right now – so many things stacked up, not going the way I’d hoped.  And, in certain areas, things promise to get harder before they get better, and yet I move forward, face towards the sky.

I just wish I was better at this.  It takes practice, I know.  Walking and living in constant thanksgiving must be learned, but oh how I could use it now!  I wonder if I’ll always need to be reminded (like the Israelite people coming out of Egypt) of God’s greatness, always counting, or if I’ll ever be able to just hold onto it.

But, then again… I’m not sure if I’d have it any other way…I kind of like finding the treasures amidst the supposed rubble.

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bosssanders
filed under Healing

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