It may seem like I’ve been MIA, but don’t worries. I’ve just been really busy, that’s all. You know, with wasps stalking my house and family and all…

I feel like I should update everyone on my secret killer wasps that probably belong to some military operation. After stinging my friend on her TOE as she was bringing cupcakes in (they probably thought she was smuggling something. Like machetes. Or rifles. Clearly they aren’t geniuses like me. They’re just wasps. Give them a break)… What was I saying? Oh yeh, After stinging my friend, I made a third call to my landlord to ask him to please exterminate the problem. A few people (who clearly don’t know how dangerous it is to be a genius) simply suggested that I should buy some wasp spray, but personally I found some really big issues with that logic: Like, why the heck would I put my face near a hole filled with angry wasps?

So, he came and with his bare hands (and a crow bar), he pulled off the steps to our front porch and found the wasps’ super secret operations base. Obviously they were angry – and I can’t figure out my landlord’s thought process, because IF *I* knew that there were dangerous killer wasps trying to kill geniuses, I wouldn’t have come out in short sleeves and without gloves or a mask to combat them. I would’ve probably dressed up in a snowsuit, but hey, not everyone can be a genius, right?

I’m still really speechless…okay, that’s a lie, I’m almost never speechless… but, he didn’t get stung! Some dude (my landlord, in case you missed it) was destroying their home and you know what they did? THEY FLUNG THEMSELVES AGAINST MY GLASS DOOR!! I would now like to publicly take back my previous announcement that those wasps could be recruited by the military because really, what kind of super smart killer flings himself against a glass door? Repeatedly? With his face?

Mostly they’re gone now, but I did capture one in hopes of interrogating it. I decided to surprise it with some soapy water, but the dumb thing died before he answered anything. I may need to reform my interrogation techniques, but at least I did find out it was a red paper wasp. Whatever that means.

Anyways, they’re gone for now.

So, maybe I can do really important things again. Like blog. Crap.

Crap!

I bet they read the internets!

Welcome back!