Truth
I used to be of the mindset that truth was a simple thing – that truth was not only always the best policy, but that sugarcoating it was for wussies. –That, if you couldn’t handle the blunt, raw truth…that it was YOUR problem. I believed that if everyone was just THAT honest, we’d all be a happier, simpler world.
Since then, I’ve learned differently.
Since then, I’ve learned that we all see truth in our own ways. What I believe to be true and what you believe to be true could be totally different. We experience things differently, and while certain things will remain consistent, there will be others that change depending on who you ask.
I’ve also learned that truth is much like water – it can heal or it can destroy, depending upon how it is delivered.
A cup of water gently delivered to someone tired and thirsty? Healing.
Water sprayed in their face? Not so much.
Water sprinkled on parched soil? Healing.
Water blasted by a firehose on fertile farmland? Not so much.
A warm bath to soak tired muscles? Healing.
Boiling water poured over same body…Not so much.
Truth, like water, can heal or it can destroy.
Delivered GENTLY and with love, it can heal. Sprayed in someone’s face and/or with anger, it can destroy.
There’s a time for honesty and there’s a time to simply listen. And, while I don’t advocate lies – I believe that in order to follow Jesus, our lives have to be “sugarcoated” in the Holy Spirit – in compassion, in love.
Your so called “honesty” is sometimes nothing more than a concealed deadly dagger perched and ready to pierce a soul.
Today, I hope you disarm yourself and take the time to “sugarcoat” your lives lest you learn this lesson the hard way. Like I have.
*EDIT: Coating things in kindness is something I believe we should all aspire to, however I do not believe you should look to me as your model. That’s not what this post is about. I, too, am imperfect and strive daily (and mess up just as much) to seek God’s face.
*EDIT: This post was NOT a response or post geared to any one person (or people). However, this blog is not a fictional one, and I did write about a TOPIC that has affected me and that I feel strongly about.
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Comments
janjanmom
Someone in my life once hurt my feelings so bad with the “truth in love” that I thought I would never recover. However, in retrospect, this person cared more about me than all my ‘sugar-coating’ friends because I needed to be told what I was told and after I got over nursing my hurt feelings, it was a turning point that changed me for the better. Would it have been better if it had been kinder? In my case, probably not-I’m stubborn to the core and sometimes it takes blunt and raw to get my attention.
I’m sorry someone has hurt you. BUT, be sure to ask yourself the hard questions:
*Does this person care about me and making me a better person?
*Is this person known for being malicious and hurtful?
*Is there any truth to what was said?
*Am I being too sensitive instead of taking the ‘bad medicine’?
Based on those answers-is this someone I need to stay away from because they are too hurtful for me, or is it a friendship I need to treasure because honesty in friendships is so rare?
Sorry to write a whole blog here. Love you and hope this helps, if not ignore it and go on.
Amanda
Wow, I love this subject Ashley, especially when I feel so strongly that you may have written this in response to me being very blunt and honest with you. Let me first say that I understand that some people are more sensitive than others and simply cannot handle honesty. I think sugar-coating is actually a form of lying. If it’s bad SAY it’s bad , if it’s good SAY it’s good. Don’t beat around the bush. It’s like lying by omission. And if I happen to tell someone how I feel and I am being very blunt and honest, to me it’s because I am (or thought) I was close enough to that person to be able to tell them. I see that is not the case here. Let me tell you a little story : Before I finally got on an anti-anxiety drug I was extremely emotional and irrational, and I remember being home by myself and my father-in-law coming to my house to have a little “come to Jesus meeting” with me. He basically said that nobody wanted to be around me when I’m acting like that and had everybody kind of walking on egg shells, now this is not my dad , this is my father-in-law. Why was he able to be so blunt and honest with me Ashley? You should know this answer. It was because he LOVES me and wanted to help me. I am not a perfect person and never claimed to be. But I love myself the way I am and am never going to compromise that just because someone can’t take it the way it’s intended. I know the people who are honest with me and they have not always told me things that I like about myself and yes sometimes it hurts, but I also know when they tell me the good stuff (which is most of the time) I KNOW they are being honest and you know why? Because the good stuff is so much easier to tell but they care enough to share everything and it makes me closer to them and I believe them even more. I think that is why true friendships are rare because of everything it should be able to endure. The good and the bad. In this world you just can’t have one without the other. So I’m going to get off my little soap box now. I see now why I don’t usually read people’s blogs.
I love you and think you are terrific mother and wife. And THAT is the truth. Love you