Lorelei:  (shouting to me from outside the shower/tub)  “Mama!  A BUG! Look!”

Me:  (pulls the shower curtain aside.  I see a little “thing” but couldn’t tell if it was a fuzzy or a bug)  “Honey, just leave it alone.  I can’t see what it is.  I’ll look when I get out of the shower.”

Lorelei:  “Get out now and you can see it, mommy.  What (do) I do with it?”

(10 minutes pass and I get out of the shower.  Lorelei is on her stepstool in front of the sink, brushing her teeth.  A washcloth is on the floor)

Lorelei:  “See the bug?  I covered it up with a washcloth!”

Me:  “Let’s see it.  (she uncovers the bug proudly)  Oh, it’s a ladybug!”

Lorelei:  “I throw it away?  Kill it?  Put it in the trash?  Throw it outside?”

Me:  “No, just leave her alone.  She won’t hurt you.”

Lorelei:  “She bite me!  Is she alive?  Is she hurt?”

Me:  “Lorelei, why do you ask me that?  Did you do something mean to the ladybug?”

Lorelei:  “Yes.  Yes, I did.”

Me:  “Well, that wasn’t very nice, was it?”

Lorelei: (looks at the ladybug)  “I sorry, bug.  Mama, I piss (kiss) her?”

Me:  “No.  Don’t kiss her.  Just blow her some kisses. ”

Lorelei:  (blows kisses to the ladybug)  “I brush her with my toothbrush?”

Me:  “No.  don’t do that.”

Lorelei:  “I lick her?”

Me:  “Definitely not.”

Lorelei:  “Why I not lick and brush her, mommy?”

Me:  “Because it’s yucky.  (blank stare from her)  ….Because…um…she has germs.  You might get sick.  You know, like if I lick YOUR face, I might get sick because you might have germs on your face.  So, we just don’t brush people or ANYTHING with our toothbrushes and we definitely don’t lick them.  Especially boys, but that’s another story.  Okay?”

Lorelei:  “Okay.  I won’t lick her.  Hey mommy?  Can I cut something with scissors….?”

Welcome back!