I started this blog in the beginning of 2008. In the beginning, I wanted to share stories about my daughter, Lorelei and also to just …be creative (like my “ad for a sugardaddy” or crafts). As time passed, I became convinced that my blog should be and go far deeper than that. I wanted people to know me. To REALLY know me, and not just the good, sugar-coated part. I expected a lot of people to run at the sight of blatant honesty (and many other emotions, warranted or not), but I wanted to know that when I looked around at the people surrounding me…I wanted to know that those people were there because they wanted to be. Because they loved me…entirely.
At first, blogging was awesome. Let’s be honest: A lot more people stuck around then I thought would. People would come up to me and start conversations where my blog post left off. Word traveled about my blog, and soon more people than I can count began reading my blog (sometimes they met my blog before they met me). It was great being able to say the hard stuff just ONCE and not over and over again. It was fun to be able to announce our second pregnancy to friends we’d made all over the country AND some family members ALL AT ONCE.
But, then…there are times like this when I really struggle with keeping a blog at all.
I can’t help but notice the drop in comments from 2008 to 2010 (although my traffic has increased 20x). I can’t help but notice that the people who used to call, don’t. Actually, sometimes I feel like I should make my blog private just to force people to call me to ask how my day was. You know, to have friendships…the kind where I *know* you care and then we can have a two sided conversation about our lives. When the comments AND the phone calls stop, you just feel like you’ve been left behind, like nobody really wants to talk to you, online or off.
And sometimes… I think I might miss the facade of “the girl that is always happy.” I wouldn’t for long, I don’t think, but sometimes…I wonder, “Would it be better to just smile and pretend?”
I will always have stories to tell, but I’m wondering if maybe I should move it somewhere else.
I'd love it if you stalked me (subscribe to my RSS feed). Thanks for visiting!
February 15th, 2010 at 10:59 am
I’m here.
People who I connected with years ago don’t stop by my place anymore either. I am hurt by that. And than I realize that I don’t stop by other people’s places either, like I used to. The kids are getting older, I like blogging, I keep doing it, my reader is full, I try and stop by but life takes a hold of me.
Does that make any sense. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We are reading!
February 15th, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Don’t take it personally Ashley. Remember, your audience is probably lots of mommies that read blogs while nursing with one arm and eating lunch with the other.
You may be offering them that feeling of “ah…someone else gets it!” even if they can’t free their time and hands to tell you so. 
February 15th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
I think the volume of comments in general has fallen off. I see lots of traffic to my site as well, but very few, if any, leave a comment they were there. I know and see people reading my thoughts and stuff, but they don’t engage. Next month, that trend may reverse itself, the internet is a fickle world. Just remember who you write for and stick with that. The people that read will continue to do so, even if they don’t speak up.