I Stuff My Bra – And 12 Other Breastfeeding Surprises…
1. Regardless that you never stuffed your bra in highschool, you might suddenly find yourself doing so. You may even want to buy stock in nursing pads, I’m just sayin’…
2. My number one requested item on my baby shower list POST-BABY? Fitted sheets…because um, yeah.
3. Right after that? Towels.
4. Cabbage leaves? Don’t work. Unless you WANTED to smell like rotten yuck, then of course, by all means…
5. The La Leche League leader was quite possibly born with no feeling in certain areas of her body. Or, it’s a man. Because, I can think of no other logical reason they would tell you that it won’t hurt at all…unless you’re doing it wrong. Because it will. Badly (if it’s your first). But, it DOES go away in a couple of weeks.
6. They sell books on positions…for nursing. Most of which, might be dangerous with a newborn – and a very sleep deprived mama. (Plus, I found it hard to do some of them just because of logistics…until she was a little older…so don’t feel bad if you have a little trouble. It’s not just you. It could quite possibly be just me, though.)
7. A sexy nursing bra? HAHAHAHAHA.
8. By the way, you’ll have to replace those suckers (nursing bras) quite a lot if you get one that’s more substantial than a bit of cloth – which I suggest you buy unless you just love wet spots (which are apparently not sexy to most men.)
9. You don’t have to buy the specialty nursing tops…but it sure makes things easier at first when you’re learning how to be discreet and not show everyone your stuff.
10. Pretty evening wear doesn’t usually equal nursing friendly. Actually, it makes things kind of difficult. It may end up resembling something like a chunky cloth necklace in a locked backroom before the evening is over.
11. Some people are stupid and think it’s okay to suggest you should feed your baby in the bathroom. It is 100% fine to tell them that you will feed your child in the bathroom after you see THEM eat their meal from on the toilet.
12. Although your husband might have faked remorse over not being able to share the nightly feedings with you, he may not actually jump in when it finally comes time for solids. Occasionally, it is normal for a man to forget how to do things…you know, like hold a baby spoon.
13. There is a fine line between nourishing your sweet child and becoming a human pacifier. It’s up to you where you stand on that one, and you may find yourself weakening your resolve. Like, in order to get some peace and quiet before your head explodes, for example.