Finding a new apartment seemed exciting at first.  Thoughts of pristine, cute apartments in cozy little areas floated through my head.  Reality, however was much much different.  Water damaged walls, high rent, crazy landlords, crazy potential neighbors (read: that’s not potential crazy, they were clearly scary), chain-link fences in a part of town to keep the drug dealers out, etc.  It was pretty clear that something was going to have to budge…our budget or our expectations.  And, it obviously had to be our expectations.

So, we took a night to mull it over, discussing which would be the least disappointing.  We finally decided on a non-apartment rental (which I still refer to as the apartment because it is a rental and not a house rental) because it had an extra bedroom from the others that we looked at and is situated only minutes from our closest friends and right down the road from my family….

We bleached the place to oblivion, until we were convinced that nothing could have possibly survived our cleaning.  (Note:  I don’t typically use bleach in my cleaning.  This should tell you more about the condition pre-moving in.)

Some furniture and area rugs later and the place is looking more like home.  Kind of cute, actually…all things (like blue carpet and ugly wallpaper with tears in it) considered.

We’ve slowly filled a pretty large storage unit with STUFF and left some things back at the house.  Yesterday, we went back to the old house to pack some more things and I myself unable to move.  My mind was saying WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!  GO! GO! GO!

My body?  It just laughed and wouldn’t move.

So, we decided to take a break.  We’ll resume the moving in a few days.  (We should be able to get the rest finished in one more trip if we can recruit some helping hands to move boxes and possibly a trailer with sides and someone with a truck to pull said trailer).  I’ve put too much stress on my body - my neck and back are not holding up well and my previous pain management plan has now been thrown out the window.  Severe headaches that don’t subside without the aide of STRONG pain medication, back pain that keeps making my back give out at the most inopportune moments, and exhaustion.  Add to that, a neighbor who has a sudden interest in being our friend so that they may rifle through our cabinets to see what may be left that they can take and question as to whether we plan to keep every piece of furniture as it is being moved to the moving truck, in case we may let this person have it…and I’m ready for a break.

I’m ready to rest my body for a while.  I’m ready to not have a stranger trying to “help” under the guise of seeing what can be taken.  I’m ready to surround myself again with people who won’t try to take advantage of me, people who genuinely love me (and I, them).  I’m ready to have this moving behind us so we can enjoy this place.

I’m ready for peace.

I’m ready to relax.

I’m ready to not move again for a while.

I’m ready, God.  Thanks for knowing my heart better than I do.  And, thanks for not backhanding me every time I drag my feet in resistance to You and get a little whiny.

Welcome back!