I resigned a couple of weeks ago, just so sure that God was going to let me have the next several months full of peace and time with Him and my family.

Silly me.  Apparently, I AM supposed to slow down, but He’s got more in plan for me FIRST.

The past few days have been a whirlwind.  Illness paired with little sleep and running on empty, just trying to get things done….

We’re beginning to cut close on the “unemployment” status as it pertains to benefits.  The job search was turning up empty and our savings have since been depleted, meaning our expenses of daily living were much higher than our meager income for a family of four.

So, after some intense consultations with our church leaders, an attorney, and then some family…we made an incredibly hard decision.

Soon, we’ll complete the paperwork for filing bankruptcy, and soon we will leave our home and life as we know it and move into a temporary residence.  Relief intermingles with feelings of fear, disappointment, sadness, shame and hurt.

We’ve thoroughly examined our options, and this is the only feasible one available.  While my husband could potentially take up three minimum wage jobs, it would mean we’d be sacrificing our family and his health (and potentially mine) at the same time.  It would mean that while it could prove to be a temporary fix, it may actually dig us deeper since he’d have no time or energy to pursue anything better — not to mention he’d have to drive 20 miles to just find the nearest job.

So, in a few days, we’ll be moving….

Moving closer to family, closer to our support network, closer to jobs.

Moving away from a life we worked hard for, a house we loved, and everything we thought we wanted.

I wanted to post an update – Definitely not because I can stomach any more of the half-hearted “Do what you have to do”s or the “That sucks”, but because life has and will continue to change dramatically.  Yet, at the same time, I can’t compose my thoughts to really write much deeper than surface thoughts, or maybe I’m just afraid of what will happen if I try…

Either way, that’s all I have for now.

Welcome back!