Lorelei has become more and more interested with the potty – from shouting that she needs to go in the middle of Walmart to wanting to chill out on hers for periods of time.  She wants to.  Really wants to.  The only thing missing?  Being able to summon the great yellow and …yeh.

For some reason, Dr. Phil appeared on our television the other day (I call him Dr Duh) and the issue of the moment was POTTY TRAINING.  OH STOP THE WORLD!  Apparently, the parents were afraid their 2.5-3 year old little boy was going to be 10 before he could use the potty.  I know I’ve joked about it before, but REALLY?

Sometimes I worry about different developmental things a little, but would the world really crash and burn if your kid didn’t poo in the potty til he was 3.5?

Anyways, Dr. Duh’s magical moment of secrets was this:  “You guys just don’t know his currency.”

(They were trying to bribe him with stuff like preschool…stuff he didn’t want)

Lorelei’s currency is pretty simple.  Presents – whether it’s fresh baked rolls, fruit, spending time with mommy watching a movie, playdoh, or “a new house.”

For the past few days, she’s done great with not peeing in her diaper at night, something we didn’t talk to her about or ask her to do.  She just did it!  The potty was made available during the day and we supply her books while she waits, trying to get the hang of things.  But, for the most part, there was nothing.

She WANTED to.  Oh man, she wanted to.  She just didn’t know how to make it come.

Until this morning.

And, then…we played with surprise playdoh.

……………….

In other news, Aurora developed a runny nose and cough last Saturday or Sunday which has since morphed into a very wet icky cough that brings tears to her eyes.  She coughs incredibly hard, sometimes even to begin choking.  So, after lots of calling around and then finally a resigned post on facebook, I decided to take her to the ER.  Not because it was an emergency but because nobody that I called could see her because they weren’t accepting new medicaid patients – however, they thought I should definitely take her to see someone…just not them.  You know, just in case it happened to be in her chest.

Luckily, a friend came to the rescue and got us in to another practice and this morning, Rora saw a doctor…well, a nurse practitioner.

She has an upper respiratory infection but it’s all upper and not in her chest.  Which is GREAT.  She is showing signs of a beginning ear infection, but nothing huge yet.  We came home with good news, a peace of mind, and some just in case meds in case a fever should spike or this not go away on its own.

Welcome back!

My wishlist this year is kind of sparse.  This year, we’ve mostly asked for cash so we could go on a vacation next year but I was asked to post a list for ideas….

Here’s what I came up with:

A dehydrator.  With a friend’s suggestion and reading lots of reviews, I’ve settled on this one.  It’s quiet, versatile, and does a great job at 64.98.

A is for Apron.  Tutorials on apron-making with loads of cute patterns that I like.  $12.21.

the creative family for 12.89

On of the best devotionals ever for $10.19.

Another book for around $10.

Gift cards (to places like LifeWay, Books A Million, theLimited, Hobby Lobby and Michaels), creative gifts from the heart, service gifts are always loved too…

Finding a new apartment seemed exciting at first.  Thoughts of pristine, cute apartments in cozy little areas floated through my head.  Reality, however was much much different.  Water damaged walls, high rent, crazy landlords, crazy potential neighbors (read: that’s not potential crazy, they were clearly scary), chain-link fences in a part of town to keep the drug dealers out, etc.  It was pretty clear that something was going to have to budge…our budget or our expectations.  And, it obviously had to be our expectations.

So, we took a night to mull it over, discussing which would be the least disappointing.  We finally decided on a non-apartment rental (which I still refer to as the apartment because it is a rental and not a house rental) because it had an extra bedroom from the others that we looked at and is situated only minutes from our closest friends and right down the road from my family….

We bleached the place to oblivion, until we were convinced that nothing could have possibly survived our cleaning.  (Note:  I don’t typically use bleach in my cleaning.  This should tell you more about the condition pre-moving in.)

Some furniture and area rugs later and the place is looking more like home.  Kind of cute, actually…all things (like blue carpet and ugly wallpaper with tears in it) considered.

We’ve slowly filled a pretty large storage unit with STUFF and left some things back at the house.  Yesterday, we went back to the old house to pack some more things and I myself unable to move.  My mind was saying WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!  GO! GO! GO!

My body?  It just laughed and wouldn’t move.

So, we decided to take a break.  We’ll resume the moving in a few days.  (We should be able to get the rest finished in one more trip if we can recruit some helping hands to move boxes and possibly a trailer with sides and someone with a truck to pull said trailer).  I’ve put too much stress on my body – my neck and back are not holding up well and my previous pain management plan has now been thrown out the window.  Severe headaches that don’t subside without the aide of STRONG pain medication, back pain that keeps making my back give out at the most inopportune moments, and exhaustion.  Add to that, a neighbor who has a sudden interest in being our friend so that they may rifle through our cabinets to see what may be left that they can take and question as to whether we plan to keep every piece of furniture as it is being moved to the moving truck, in case we may let this person have it…and I’m ready for a break.

I’m ready to rest my body for a while.  I’m ready to not have a stranger trying to “help” under the guise of seeing what can be taken.  I’m ready to surround myself again with people who won’t try to take advantage of me, people who genuinely love me (and I, them).  I’m ready to have this moving behind us so we can enjoy this place.

I’m ready for peace.

I’m ready to relax.

I’m ready to not move again for a while.

I’m ready, God.  Thanks for knowing my heart better than I do.  And, thanks for not backhanding me every time I drag my feet in resistance to You and get a little whiny.

Despite my worries and feeling incredibly overwhelmed – among a vast array of many emotions – I’m beginning to no longer see the negative aspects of the things our family has been facing, together.

True, moving really sucks.  But, if it weren’t for moving, I’d never have found those socks I thought I’d forever lost.

True, I’m terrified of not knowing what’s to come and sad to see certain things go out of our lives.  But, we’ll soon be set free from looming debt and be able to enjoy our lives and focus on our health rather than debt.

True, my stress levels are insanely high and I count down to the moment that I’ll be able to climb into bed just to rest again for a while.  But, this stress on my mind and body is only for a short while.

True, it’s hard to leave a place you’ve made home and move into a place that…well, you had to bleach from floor to ceiling just to feel comfortable enough to take your gloves and face mask off.  BUT, soon this place will feel like home too because it’s not about the walls that surround you but what the walls surround.  US.  Family.

Things are beginning to slow down.  Sort of.  There is still so much to do, but we’ve slowed down from mind-numbing-whiplash speed to don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it-speed.  It’s improvement.

In 6 short days, we:

Began a variety of meetings which different individuals about our financial status
Met with an attorney
Filled out 7 hours worth of paperwork
Filed said paperwork
Underwent credit counseling which basically told us what we already knew
Searched for an apartment
Found and put down a deposit for an apartment
Cleaned said apartment from ceiling to floor …twice.  With bleach.  (And, I HATE cleaning with bleach.  I’m a vinegar gal, but this was necessary.)
Arrange for utilities to be turned on and have things that are broken fixed by the landlord
Moved a uhaul and 2 trucks worth of furniture out of the house and into the apartment
Moved a van’s worth of contents from the house to the apartment
Set up all of the furniture in the new place
Took paperwork to a variety of offices to be filled out
Organized the new house while doing household chores
Rent a storage unit.

Next week, we have to

move out the rest of our belongings.
File more paperwork.

I’m so very ready to be finished with moving.  We need lots of moving boxes.  I’m so ready to rest and just…be.

And, I’m so thankful.  Thankful for being able to move close to family.  Thankful for my husband’s humor.  Thankful for my wonderful friends who have taken time out of their own busy lives to really be there for me and my personal little freak out.  Thankful for our AWESOME church family and a pantry full of food and a freezer full of deer meat.  Thankful for family who have helped us move the big stuff.  Thankful to a God who loves me so incredibly much that He will call me his daughter and shower me with gifts.  Thankful for my daughters who have both taken this move so well – one of them actually EXCITED about her new house (the other only concerned with eating 24/7).

Please continue to pray for peace in my crazy little heart.  Also, if you have any moving sized boxes…we could definitely use them!

I resigned a couple of weeks ago, just so sure that God was going to let me have the next several months full of peace and time with Him and my family.

Silly me.  Apparently, I AM supposed to slow down, but He’s got more in plan for me FIRST.

The past few days have been a whirlwind.  Illness paired with little sleep and running on empty, just trying to get things done….

We’re beginning to cut close on the “unemployment” status as it pertains to benefits.  The job search was turning up empty and our savings have since been depleted, meaning our expenses of daily living were much higher than our meager income for a family of four.

So, after some intense consultations with our church leaders, an attorney, and then some family…we made an incredibly hard decision.

Soon, we’ll complete the paperwork for filing bankruptcy, and soon we will leave our home and life as we know it and move into a temporary residence.  Relief intermingles with feelings of fear, disappointment, sadness, shame and hurt.

We’ve thoroughly examined our options, and this is the only feasible one available.  While my husband could potentially take up three minimum wage jobs, it would mean we’d be sacrificing our family and his health (and potentially mine) at the same time.  It would mean that while it could prove to be a temporary fix, it may actually dig us deeper since he’d have no time or energy to pursue anything better — not to mention he’d have to drive 20 miles to just find the nearest job.

So, in a few days, we’ll be moving….

Moving closer to family, closer to our support network, closer to jobs.

Moving away from a life we worked hard for, a house we loved, and everything we thought we wanted.

I wanted to post an update – Definitely not because I can stomach any more of the half-hearted “Do what you have to do”s or the “That sucks”, but because life has and will continue to change dramatically.  Yet, at the same time, I can’t compose my thoughts to really write much deeper than surface thoughts, or maybe I’m just afraid of what will happen if I try…

Either way, that’s all I have for now.

God is really rocking my world.  He’s molding me, and I’m grateful (although that doesn’t always mean it’s fun.)

Wednesday, I resigned from my out-of-the-home job.  It was a difficult thing to do, but it was the right thing to do.  I adore the people there, I adore the ministry, I adored what I did — but, it was taking me away from my first ministry that God had called me to – my children.

Our lives have seasons, and I am so thankful for the one I had there…and I really believe I’ll be back there in a different season of my life.  Just not now.  I know that I will struggle with “homesickness” from the place and the guilt of no longer “contributing” to our income.  But, some things are bigger.  Like, God.  Like, what he’s called me to do and who he has called me to be.

I could feel myself being weighed down from the many things i was trying to do and be to many people, and the stress was physically attacking me.  I deliberated and prayed, wishing God would be so clear…and then He was.  My children were entrusted to me by Him.  They were both miracle babies in their own ways.  They were gifts that I prayed and longed for.  I also knew that God had given me this job and I didn’t want to walk away if I was meant to be there but He let me know that some things just don’t matter…and this was one of them.  This job was for my benefit and it wasn’t to my benefit any longer.

He released me.

My husband released me.  He saw how it was physically and mentally affecting me.

My family released me.

Then, my employer (and friend) and co-workers/friends released me.

I feel free.

I realize that there will be a few worldly people who will feel the need (and have) to corner me and ask me if I don’t think I’m being “just a little irresponsible.”  And, no.  I don’t.  I think some things are bigger than money and what God calls us to do is one of them.

Big Thoughts for Little People by Kenneth N. Taylor

Ages 3-7

Hardcover retails for $14.99

Big Thoughts for Little People is an illustrated book that uses the ABCs to teach children morals and valuable Christian answers. Each letter corresponds with a lesson/word that most of us would love for our children to learn. I really expected for this book to be a great fit for Lala as she is becoming more familiar with her ABCs, however I’m afraid the “lessons” in this book are a little too much for her since she falls at the lower end of the age range.

HOWEVER, for older children, I think this book could be invaluable. Along with each new letter and lesson is a darling illustration and a short lesson (less than a paragraph long) – as well as a discussion paragraph and questions to share with your children. Some of the questions ask about the lesson in general, while some ask about the illustration – all of which urge the children to think a little deeper.

I would not rate this as a good “bedtime” book, but I would rate this as a great “devotional” sort of book for younger kids. With that said, I wouldn’t plan on reading the entire book with your little one all in one sitting – but, perhaps using it as the center of a study where the ideas and concepts could be explored further that day/week.

Happy Reading! (You can buy it

show details 5:34 PM (22 minutes ago)

(You can buy it HERE!)

*Per new disclosure laws, i have to tell you that I indeed did receive a copy of this book from the publisher to review and did not just totally make this review up. Although I DID receive a copy of this book to review, i am not employed by the author or publishing company (as cool as that would be). As always, these are my real thoughts and opinions – Trust me, you couldn’t shut me up if you tried.

“Mama!  Rora bites you!  No, baby!” Lorelei said with great worry as she came into the room, seeing me breastfeeding her baby sister.

“No, sweetie.  Rora isn’t biting mommy.  Mommy is just nursing and Rora is eating!”

(Pause with Lala still looking concerned.)  i realized quickly that I’d used the term ‘eating’ which sounds a lot like biting and chewing and knew I had to backtrack quickly.

“You see, mommy has baby milk in here,” I said, being sure to emphasize BABY lest she get any ideas and putting my hand over my breast.  “Rora nurses and drinks mommy’s milk when she’s hungry.”

Lala responds with a knowing look and i mentally hand myself a reward, proud that i explained to my toddler that the baby was not actually devouring and hurting mommy.  Until she (quickly) followed up with…

“Lala, milk!” She said, hands over her own chest.

“No honey.  Just mommy.  Just mommy has milk.” I began.

“Oh!” She said, clearly getting more excited.  “Lala [has] juice!!”  She exclaimed, pulling the neck of her pajamas back so she could peer down them.

“No, Lala….” I began, but stopped dead in my tracks when she replied with “Mommy, uh huh.  Yes.” And looked at me in that knowing way that told me this wouldn’t be a battle I could win.

Okay, kid.  I’m praying you forget this little “lesson” as you rub the sleep from your eyes today.  But, if you don’t, I have the duct tape ready to tape your shirt securely in place should you decide everyone needs to know about where juice comes from, or God forbid you get the idea to “share.”

OOPS.

The Tallest of Smalls by Max Lucado

Ages 4-7



Retails for $16.99

My toddler goes through books like some kids go through candy. Okay, so maybe that’s not an entirely fair statement. To be completely honest, some of it’s my fault. Lala ADORES books (as do I), but as new ones find their way to us, I tend to shuffle through them, pulling out the ones I think she can most relate to…or, ones that I simply fall in love with.

We read every toddler book that comes our way. Some, we read once and then pass it on to a new home, and some, we read over and over and over again. Tallest Of The Smalls by Max Lucado was one of the latter sort of books. Imagine a cute story line with vibrant illustrations and a wonderful story and message filled with hope and love and GOD and you’ll be imagining this book.

Max Lucado is one of my favorite authors and I’m thrilled that he writes books for little ones, too. I’m amazed at some of the storybooks we’ve flipped through, stories that despite their childish illustrations, seem like they were written more for the parents than the child. But, with this book, Lucado hits it spot-on. He describes a big concept – FITTING IN – with great imagination and in a way that little ones can understand.

Four thumbs up (mine plus Lala’s).

Get your copy HERE.

*Per new disclosure laws, i have to tell you that I indeed did receive a copy of this book from the publisher to review and did not just totally make this review up. Although I DID receive a copy of this book to review, i am not employed by the author or publishing company (as cool as that would be). As always, these are my real thoughts and opinions – Trust me, you couldn’t shut me up if you tried.