I can feel the prayers working over me, and the calmness slowly flooding my soul.  I am just so so thankful for my friends and family who didn’t hesitate to reach out to us today.  Thank you so much for shaking me, looking me in the eye, and saying ” This is not a YOU effort.  This is a WE effort.  We’re in this together.”  I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you.  I want to cry for entirely different reasons…happy reasons (and I’m not even a happy crier, but I’m the most lucky girl in the world.)  I’ve waited a long time for friends as awesome as you, and then God gave you to me.  So, thanks be to Him and thanks to you for being that to me.  All of you.  I love you.

It’s been a ROUGH past 10 months.  And, today…our insurance dropped us.  There’s nothing we can do about it and we aren’t eligible to get it back for 12 months.  I’ve been holding on for months, trying to swim in shark infested waters, and today….TODAY, just felt like it was too much.

I felt alone and like God had just walked out on me.  You know the times you KNOW He’s there but you can’t FEEL him or see him working and then your life gets to the point of TOUGHNESS that you convince yourself you are ALONE??  Yeh, there.  So, today all I could think of were the Neurology appointments and the pain I was in but the treatments and therapies we couldn’t afford suddenly.  I was thinking about how we’d been through so much and I’d been so hopeful that we’d be able to FIX something in our lives with the upcoming appointments.  I was thinking about how my husband needs to get his issue fixed so the military would quit penalizing him for it.  I was thinking about WHAT IF something happened and our girls got hurt…

I was thinking… WHEN DO WE GET A BREAK?!

And then I remembered how last night I prayed fervently that God would squeeze my hand a little so I knew he was holding it.  And, how I prayed that he would SLAM close doors to places and things he didn’t want us going.

So, maybe this is a blessing.  (I won’t say more until a few other things come to pass…)

A HARD blessing, but a blessing where friends and loved ones have banded around us, keeping careful watch over our family.  I’m so thankful.

And God, I am so blessed that you knew my needs before I did and you knew the best people that you could put in our lives.  Thank you so much for giving me such truly awesome FRIENDSHIPS.  Please help me remember on a daily basis your blessings and help me to bless those around me.  Please continue to show me the way so that I may follow you closely.  Amen.

Welcome back!