Apparently, pregnancy might make me crazy.  Actually, I’m pretty sure this is par for the course for most women who have found themselves pregnant for longer than they really ever expected to be.  It’s weird, you get 2 weeks until your actual “due date” and you (by “you,” I mean “I”) get all expectant.  Then, the week passes and no baby.  But, that’s okay because next week, the baby will totally be here.  Until it’s not.  And, then you are a couple of days from your actual doctor-made due date and you’re looking up “100 ways to induce labor” on Google with a bottle of castor oil staring you down in the corner.  You know, just in case.

We’ve tried almost all of the common “natural” ways to induce…

I’ve walked and walked and walked.  As in, a mile or more a day…but then I figured out it wasn’t helping and decided I’d rather go drink iced tea.

Raspberry Leaf Tea.  Some people say it’s just good for you and others swear it helps contractions along.  It doesn’t taste awful, so I’ve been drinking it.

Sex…and nipple stimulation…  All I’ll say is, tried it.  That and, I’m pretty sure the method that GOT me pregnant probably won’t do me much good in making me un-pregnant.

Spicy Food – We’ve added red pepper to pasta and eaten spicy chicken wraps.  Not even contractions came afterwards.

Evening Primrose Oil Capsules – orally.  I’ve been doing this, just to see.  There have also been suggestions that I could um, insert one vaginally…but, I’m waiting on that one.  I’m not ready to risk infection yet.  I figure there’ll be enough “trauma” soon enough down there.  Might as well give it a break.

Bouncing on an exercise ball – this?  Just makes my toddler ticked off.  She thinks she should be bouncing on the ball and will try to push me off.  But, no contractions.

Squatting.  Seeing as how I can’t bend over much anymore, this isn’t something I have to try hard at…but nope.  Nothing.

Warm compresses here and there… which basically just feels like warm compresses here and there.

And, still…no baby.

So, now I’m at the whole castor oil or other laxative part of the list.  I was standing so firm on my decision to NOT do either of these around the beginning of last week.  But, now?  Now I’m like some crazy woman.

CASTOR OIL CASTOR OIL CASTOR OIL

It’s a mantra in my head that won’t leave me alone.  Daily, I am calling on friends to talk me down from the castor oil ledge.

I know that I could call my OB at any point next week and schedule an induction, but I’m trying to not do that too.  I want so badly to go into labor naturally – and I realize that I may or may not fold under the pain once I’m in labor and may ask for some drugs to take the edge off, but it was important for me to know what a labor would be like without pitocin drips.  But, then I think about Steven having to leave for an out of town military trip again and I get all teary.  I begin to second guess my body’s ability to do things on its own or whether my hormones or stress will keep me from doing this on my own.  Then, I look at the castor oil again.

But, I don’t even WANT the castor oil.  It makes you have the runs and vomit and can really screw things up with the baby (heart rate, etc).  At least with pitocin, the baby would be monitored and I wouldn’t be sick all over the place.  But, truthfully…I don’t want either of those.  Not really.

I don’t know WHY it’s so hard to think of even waiting for another 2 weeks.  I mean, really?  What’s the big deal?  Sure, I could go into labor in an hour…but if I don’t…what’s the big deal with 2 weeks?  Why do I get so insane feeling at the thought of having to wait a moment longer?

Sure, I thought I’d be holding her by now.  I was convinced I would be…but I’m not.  And, so what?

Pregnancy makes me crazy, that’s what.

So, who wants to take turns with finding ways to entertain me/occupy my brain for the next 12 days (or until she comes)?

**It is highly likely that I will need talked down from the castor oil ledge again…tomorrow…and the next day…

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