Comments on: Excuse me while I bang my head into a wall… http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/ Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:50:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: JenniK http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4225 JenniK Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:47:05 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4225 Okay... I've been reading Dr. Dobson's "The New Strong-Willed Child" ... as I have a strong willed little C on my hands. Which, is different from "terrible twos" but teamed together make a HORRIFYING cocktail for my head... AND patience.... and sanity. C's tantrums are not subdued with time-out in a chair or on the couch... he won't stay where he is told to sit. Ever. The tantrums come out of NOWHERE and can be quick,... or Very.... VERY ... long. So what works? I have just recently started taking him to his room. If he starts flailing and injuring me, I have to restrain him. Once he quits flailing, if he is still screaming, I leave his room and close the door until he is quiet for more than a second (a minute or two without a threat of starting back up). So far... this is working. The fits are getting shorter since he doesn't like being put in his room. As for it being "tired" or "hungry"... this might be the case for some kids... but I know it's not for C. Otherwise I doubt it would happen an hour into the morning and a short twenty minutes past breakfast... while he has his bowl of dry cereal sitting where he left it for snacking. I need to just get on the blog post I was going to write on this topic. It has been a long several months. Okay… I’ve been reading Dr. Dobson’s “The New Strong-Willed Child” … as I have a strong willed little C on my hands. Which, is different from “terrible twos” but teamed together make a HORRIFYING cocktail for my head… AND patience…. and sanity.

C’s tantrums are not subdued with time-out in a chair or on the couch… he won’t stay where he is told to sit. Ever. The tantrums come out of NOWHERE and can be quick,… or Very…. VERY … long.

So what works? I have just recently started taking him to his room. If he starts flailing and injuring me, I have to restrain him. Once he quits flailing, if he is still screaming, I leave his room and close the door until he is quiet for more than a second (a minute or two without a threat of starting back up). So far… this is working. The fits are getting shorter since he doesn’t like being put in his room.

As for it being “tired” or “hungry”… this might be the case for some kids… but I know it’s not for C. Otherwise I doubt it would happen an hour into the morning and a short twenty minutes past breakfast… while he has his bowl of dry cereal sitting where he left it for snacking. I need to just get on the blog post I was going to write on this topic. It has been a long several months.

]]> By: Momisodes http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4223 Momisodes Tue, 21 Apr 2009 04:00:35 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4223 Oh man. I can DEFINITELY relate. There are days were I swear my head is going to explode from the whining and tantrums. Really, by 7pm every night? *poof* I just know it's going to happen one day. We also instill the time out method. It's usually on a specific spot on the couch (where it's nice and padded), and everyone leaves her alone. We gave her 1 minute for every year of her age. So at 2, she received 2 minutes. And now at 3 years, she gets 3 minutes. But now that she's almost 4, when she gets into serious trouble, she gets the full 4 minutes and must apologize for what she was put into time out for when she's ready and calmed down through her time out (which sometimes takes her more than 4 minutes). Oh man. I can DEFINITELY relate. There are days were I swear my head is going to explode from the whining and tantrums. Really, by 7pm every night? *poof* I just know it’s going to happen one day.

We also instill the time out method. It’s usually on a specific spot on the couch (where it’s nice and padded), and everyone leaves her alone. We gave her 1 minute for every year of her age. So at 2, she received 2 minutes. And now at 3 years, she gets 3 minutes. But now that she’s almost 4, when she gets into serious trouble, she gets the full 4 minutes and must apologize for what she was put into time out for when she’s ready and calmed down through her time out (which sometimes takes her more than 4 minutes).

]]> By: Kim http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4222 Kim Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:52:29 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4222 I do what Tara did.. I ignore the acting out as long as I know the boys cannot hurt themselves.. It does get better, only to get worse, only to get better, and so on.. ha.. They switch it up to keep you on your toes.. :) I do what Tara did.. I ignore the acting out as long as I know the boys cannot hurt themselves.. It does get better, only to get worse, only to get better, and so on.. ha.. They switch it up to keep you on your toes.. :)

]]> By: Zoeyjane http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4219 Zoeyjane Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:38:44 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4219 Tara and Hockeyman did/do what we do. I don't know if you remember, but her tantrums would sometimes last over an hour. Now, it's much easier (that the terribler 3s have started) to pop her in a 3 minute time out, but even before then, it was about not paying attention to the behaviour and putting her in her own, safe space to freak out. My basic belief/MO has been to try to teach her that she can communicate her needs and if not, then she can choose to freak out all she wants - in her own space. Wailing at my knees, hitting, kicking, biting, etc. is not tolerated, she can choose to take her physical aggression and loudness somewhere else where it won't 'hurt me', but if she wants to <b>talk</b> to me about what's upsetting her, she's welcome to and I'll always listen. It's been the only thing close to sanity saving in the past 19 months of freak outs. That and smoking. I don't recommend the smoking part. Tara and Hockeyman did/do what we do. I don’t know if you remember, but her tantrums would sometimes last over an hour. Now, it’s much easier (that the terribler 3s have started) to pop her in a 3 minute time out, but even before then, it was about not paying attention to the behaviour and putting her in her own, safe space to freak out.

My basic belief/MO has been to try to teach her that she can communicate her needs and if not, then she can choose to freak out all she wants – in her own space. Wailing at my knees, hitting, kicking, biting, etc. is not tolerated, she can choose to take her physical aggression and loudness somewhere else where it won’t ‘hurt me’, but if she wants to talk to me about what’s upsetting her, she’s welcome to and I’ll always listen.

It’s been the only thing close to sanity saving in the past 19 months of freak outs. That and smoking.

I don’t recommend the smoking part.

]]> By: Tara R. http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4218 Tara R. Sun, 19 Apr 2009 12:54:32 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4218 Ooohh terrible two tantrums! Good times. When my kids would get 'possessed,' time outs did work for us too. If they were throwing a conniption fit, and were somewhere I knew they couldn't hurt themselves, like the living room, I'd leave them to it, just walk away, saying we would talk when they calmed down. The attention seemed to be what they wanted the most, when they didn't get it, the tantrum wasn't as fun any more. Good luck... it does get better. Ooohh terrible two tantrums! Good times. When my kids would get ‘possessed,’ time outs did work for us too. If they were throwing a conniption fit, and were somewhere I knew they couldn’t hurt themselves, like the living room, I’d leave them to it, just walk away, saying we would talk when they calmed down. The attention seemed to be what they wanted the most, when they didn’t get it, the tantrum wasn’t as fun any more.

Good luck… it does get better.

]]> By: Tricia http://www.bosssanders.com/2009/04/18/excuse-me-while-i-bang-my-head-into-a-wall/comment-page-1/#comment-4217 Tricia Sun, 19 Apr 2009 03:12:25 +0000 http://www.bosssanders.com/?p=1165#comment-4217 Ps: Sorry, its drinksmixer.com Ps: Sorry, its drinksmixer.com

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