Excuse me while I bang my head into a wall…
My sweet and wonderful daughter has been overtaken by gremlins. Or something…
Maybe it’s just the terrible twos, but oh-my-freakin-gosh.
In .3 seconds, she goes from running around the house, playing and laughing like a little cute insane person to
AGGGGHHHH!!!! Screaming her lungs out, throwing herself to the floor (even off steps)..and the latest?
Slapping me in the face. (And, no. We do NOT slap her nor has she EVER seen either of us slap each other.) Granted – the look on my face after she slapped me (I had asked her for a kiss beforehand) seemed to be enough of a punishment (although I added in some words about how we do NOT do that here). She quickly gave me a kiss (her idea) and began chattering happily again.
I knew this would all come. I know it’s a developmental stage. I know it’s normal. I know it will pass.
But dear sweet baby Jesus please give me patience or give me a really really good cocktail.
So, excuse me while I RE-childproof the house for not only an infant, but a toddler who enjoys throwing herself from the last two carpeted steps and then WAILS until she realizes we’re pretending to not notice and who has begun throwing things and climbing things. Excuse me while I try to not go crazy and begin to re-evaluate all of the common-sense stuff I’m supposed to be doing to make this period of time a little more bearable for both of us.
Hopefully our parenting skills won’t totally scar the 4 of us.
(Feel free to offer actual helpful advice – like, you know…specifics. Or drink recipes. I’m game for either. Please DON’T tell me how it will pass, it’s like telling a really wet person that someday it’ll stop raining and not offering to share an umbrella. Not helpful.)
Welcome back!
Comments
stephanie
This sounds pretty basic, but I can almost guarantee you she is either 1) tired, 2) hungry, or 3) both. And “3″ is most likely. The problem with toddlers is they fight you on the sleep thing and they satisfy their hunger with milk and juice and act like they aren’t hungry because they are too busy exploring and playing. Offer her snacks (healthy ones) more often and insist on a nap. (We never called it a “nap”, it was just “reading time” and we would lie down together and read. She will eventually fall asleep. Of course, so will you.)
)
Well-fed, rested children are happy ones. Usually.
)
Steven-Sanders
I’ve got a good recipe for some straight up vodka. It may help.
Hockeyman
Strictly enforced time outs, 1 minute per year of life. These followed with explanations of why there was a time out has been pretty effective for us. Of course, the youngest is still a problem child, but I find when the moments get really hard I do silly stuff. I turn the frustration into giggles after the calmness of a timeout. It works for me anyway.
Tricia
Our Daughter Natalie gets like that a lot, and she is 3! I thought terrible two’s was for 2yr old’s!! Anyways, My advice is try re-directing her attention if that will work. Sounds like to me she may be either bored and trying to find something to do even if that means terrorizing you. She’s got so much energy inside her right now she has to find new ways to let it out. So encourage her to, just not by ripping your house to shreds lol. Also, if she must let all this energy out by throwing herself down and such (as long as she isn’t hurting herself, anyone or anything) its best not to sweat it! Just try to stay calm and relax and when she goes to bed look up some recipes on drinkmixer.com and go to town!!
Tricia
Ps: Sorry, its drinksmixer.com
Tara R.
Ooohh terrible two tantrums! Good times. When my kids would get ‘possessed,’ time outs did work for us too. If they were throwing a conniption fit, and were somewhere I knew they couldn’t hurt themselves, like the living room, I’d leave them to it, just walk away, saying we would talk when they calmed down. The attention seemed to be what they wanted the most, when they didn’t get it, the tantrum wasn’t as fun any more.
Good luck… it does get better.
Zoeyjane
Tara and Hockeyman did/do what we do. I don’t know if you remember, but her tantrums would sometimes last over an hour. Now, it’s much easier (that the terribler 3s have started) to pop her in a 3 minute time out, but even before then, it was about not paying attention to the behaviour and putting her in her own, safe space to freak out.
My basic belief/MO has been to try to teach her that she can communicate her needs and if not, then she can choose to freak out all she wants – in her own space. Wailing at my knees, hitting, kicking, biting, etc. is not tolerated, she can choose to take her physical aggression and loudness somewhere else where it won’t ‘hurt me’, but if she wants to talk to me about what’s upsetting her, she’s welcome to and I’ll always listen.
It’s been the only thing close to sanity saving in the past 19 months of freak outs. That and smoking.
I don’t recommend the smoking part.
Kim
I do what Tara did.. I ignore the acting out as long as I know the boys cannot hurt themselves.. It does get better, only to get worse, only to get better, and so on.. ha.. They switch it up to keep you on your toes..
Momisodes
Oh man. I can DEFINITELY relate. There are days were I swear my head is going to explode from the whining and tantrums. Really, by 7pm every night? *poof* I just know it’s going to happen one day.
We also instill the time out method. It’s usually on a specific spot on the couch (where it’s nice and padded), and everyone leaves her alone. We gave her 1 minute for every year of her age. So at 2, she received 2 minutes. And now at 3 years, she gets 3 minutes. But now that she’s almost 4, when she gets into serious trouble, she gets the full 4 minutes and must apologize for what she was put into time out for when she’s ready and calmed down through her time out (which sometimes takes her more than 4 minutes).
JenniK
Okay… I’ve been reading Dr. Dobson’s “The New Strong-Willed Child” … as I have a strong willed little C on my hands. Which, is different from “terrible twos” but teamed together make a HORRIFYING cocktail for my head… AND patience…. and sanity.
C’s tantrums are not subdued with time-out in a chair or on the couch… he won’t stay where he is told to sit. Ever. The tantrums come out of NOWHERE and can be quick,… or Very…. VERY … long.
So what works? I have just recently started taking him to his room. If he starts flailing and injuring me, I have to restrain him. Once he quits flailing, if he is still screaming, I leave his room and close the door until he is quiet for more than a second (a minute or two without a threat of starting back up). So far… this is working. The fits are getting shorter since he doesn’t like being put in his room.
As for it being “tired” or “hungry”… this might be the case for some kids… but I know it’s not for C. Otherwise I doubt it would happen an hour into the morning and a short twenty minutes past breakfast… while he has his bowl of dry cereal sitting where he left it for snacking. I need to just get on the blog post I was going to write on this topic. It has been a long several months.