I really shouldn’t be surprised since I write half-assed pregnancy updates every week on here, and yet I find myself looking at the calendar jumping up and down. 30 weeks! I’m in the big leagues, now! Here come the days of exciting 4-D ultrasounds and the power to make people sweat at will (Was that just a contraction? Oooooh! Just kidding.) But, then…OHMYFREAKINGHECK! 30 weeks! So much left to do!

I haven’t even started on my list of things that need to be bought or accomplished before Aurora is born. - I haven’t even made the list, yet!

And soon, we’ll be expected to throw a birthday party for Lorelei (who will be 2) or else possibly face neglect charges. I recently received a catalog in the mail from the goofs at some party company - chock full of FIRST birthday products and supplies (sometimes “better late than never” doesn’t really apply, folks), and she’s been faithfully carrying the thing around, pointing and oohing. I’ve asked her what kind of party she’d like, but to no avail. I know she’s capable of forming short phrases (when she wants something), so I can only assume she’s deliberately not telling me because she wants me to GUESS.

Google suggested I go with her interests and do something like pay people to bring a bunch of smelly animals to poop in my yard just for the sake of being a good mommy. Then, google changed its mind and thought it’d be more appropriate if we bought party plates and decor with character’s faces on them. But, since she has no idea who Dora or Elmo really is, I’m wondering if the leftover Santa plates from Christmas will do?

Someone else suggested I just make a theme of my own - you know - be creative and stuff - around what SHE likes.

Well, she gets excited about showers but I’m pretty sure that’d be a mildly inappropriate theme.

And, the kid does love shoes - especially other people’s - so maybe we’ll just invite a bunch of folks over and let her steal their shoes?

Oh. And, babies! She owns no less than twenty baby dolls (seriously.) and is OBSESSED with babies, to put it mildly. Baby shows, baby books, baby pictures, baby dolls, baby this and baby that. I started making notes…

We could have a baby theme! I bet I could rip down a few health department banners and use those as the decor. And ooh - we could invite real live babies. We could sit them in a circle and it’d be like her own version of a petting zoo (Aww wook at da cuuuute babiiiieeesss!)

And, then it hit me. Pure genius that I am, decided that since Aurora would be born shortly after Lorelei turned 2, we could have a combo party. Like, a “Oh my gosh, you’re 2!” party and a “Let me pinch your newborn cheeks” party - combined! Genius! Homemade Cake and homemade ice cream…maybe even cookies. It’d be warmer out and we could bring out the 80 riding toys and outdoor toys we own and just let the kids play outside, which is what she likes to do anyhow. Dude. This would be perfect! She’d be getting, gifts too so we don’t have to worry about jealousy over any “baby” gifts.

I quit scribbling notes for a moment about cake flavors and such and looked up to find her holding one of her baby dolls - and a spatula - bringing the spatula from the baby and to her mouth, then back again, in an odd movement like…

IS SHE EATING THE BABY?

“Hey Steven? Do you think it’d be considered poor “personal taste” by our guests if we throw in a baby shaped cake and pinata?”

“Probably.”

(*PS - No new pregnancy changes. Except you can totally tell I’m pregnant and I finally uploaded a dang picture. Oh, and the headaches this week. And, body aches. I think I’m dying. Someone please hand me a cupcake.)

Welcome back!