I have almost nothing to say.

Well, I do – my brain just doesn’t feel like being coherent, so forgive me if I jump around a bit.  OBVIOUSLY, metaphorically seeing as how it’s going to take some major willpower just to remove myself from this recliner.

Besides having mush for a brain, I feel like I’ve accomplished almost nothing.  I’ve taken on a couple of larger tasks and it’s making my goal-crossing-off brain spin in circles inside my skull.  It’s amazing how much more I feel I’ve accomplished after a day of doing nothing but folding socks and washing dishes and creating things – compared to taking on a new subject in homeschooling (or wrangling, if you please) a toddler and trying to write a novel all. at. once.  At the end of today, and almost 4,000 words later, I feel like I’ve done almost nothing.  I have, of course, but it doesn’t FEEL that way.  My novel has a long, long way to go and nothing was really crossed off “my list” for today – Heck, I didn’t even MAKE a list today.

I used to laugh at the writers who would get cabins or hotel rooms in the middle of nowhere – I thought it was a total waste of money and didn’t understand why they’d pay money to go somewhere to do something so boring as COMPLETELY RELAX and write with no distractions.  I’m not really laughing anymore.  Actually, I’m not even giggling because I’d so do it right now.

I’m not even sure how I had the brilliant idea to write a novel, I can barely keep 1,000 words coherent, much less approximately 50,000 which is the average length of a soft-covered novel.  Oh yeh I do, mom asked me to.  In high school, I struggled to write SHORT STORIES and would get so bored with my own stories, but now I’m attempting to write a 200 page novel?  Something must be wrong with me.  That, and I really love my mom.  And, I’m probably a little bit crazy.

So, excuse me while I do a little dance and brag about how I just made it 8,400 words because DUDE, THIS IS PRETTY BIG FOR ME.  But, I put it in my New Year’s Resolutions, so I’m going to do it.  I don’t have a problem with changing goals as *I* change, but changing this one would have nothing to do with me changing and growing and everything to do with being lazy and oh yeh, giving up.  I’m not really a quitter.  So, yay.  8,400 words out of 50,000, which is less than 1/5 of the way but more than 1/10.

Speaking of resolutions, I had this BRILLIANT idea that I’d do a craft a week and it’d be this cool contest and yeh.  I’m a loser and nobody but my mommy wants to do it with me.  And, as much as I love my mom, I think this is going to be one of those *growth, goal changing* type of things because a challenge is really no fun when nobody else comes to play.  Heck, nobody is even pretending to be interested at this point or asking for it to be every 2 weeks or requesting themes, so I think I’ll just drop this challenge unless my sad pitifulness makes you feel sorry for me and sign up.  Don’t worry, I won’t hold my breath.  I’m not really THAT sad about it.  Besides, crafting on a weekly basis means I have to do quick, cheap crafts and if I craft with no set deadlines, i can do more involved ones which can end up being so much cooler.  Not that I have a problem with quick crafts…I just run out of ideas that I don’t have to blame Lorelei on the outcome because they SO look like a preschooler made them.

Due to my glutton for punishment sort of nature, I’ve also decided to change up homeschool a bit.  As of today, we are working on the alphabet.  The initial idea was to introduce one letter per week and make a huge hooplah about it.  By the end of each week, my hopes were that Lorelei would be able to recognize a letter by what it’s called AND pick it out of a grouping of other letters.  (Remember, she’s 21 months old.)  I have no grand expectations of her reading Moby Dick or even being able to associate A with apple.  Actually, I wasn’t even sure she’d be able to pick up the letter “A” by this Sunday.  But, then she did.  Today, she learned to recognize and say “A”.  And, she learned “B.”  All in one day.  I’m not proud or anything, and definitely am not bragging but okayshutup.  Unfortunately, my bragging will probably be limited to online because she thinks it’s funny to show mommy up and does not like to be my performing monkey.  Actually, she does that with almost ALL of her language around new people until she really gets used to them, and occasionally she just outright ignores me.  I’d be offended but she gets it honest (not from me, thankyouverymuch).

Since I’ve already made this one big mess of a hodge podge post, I’ll go ahead and throw in that INDIGESTION sucks and I totally have that and acid reflux – pregnancy induced of course.  So, if you have any baby-safe all natural remedies, please do let me know before I resort to trying to stand while I sleep.  It really does hurt.

Oh, and also…I did finally get back into the Women Are From Venus and Men Are From Mars (or is it Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus?) book.  I had to skim a bit over the parts I remembered, then read what I didn’t, then skim again to where I originally left off and now I’m back to new territory and VERY MUCH enjoying the book.  If any of you have ever wondered why the opposite (or same) sex is so messed up in the head, you should totally read this.  It’s mostly right on, across the board, and doesn’t patronize you or make you feel dumb.  It’s seriously a really cool look at some of the differences in men and women besides the very obvious – and, how to make it all work together.  Just sayin’.  (And, you could SO make it work whether you are dating, married, or want to know why the guys at the office are being such boneheads.)  **Dear Book Publishers, you can send me a check since I just pimped out your book for you.  You are welcome.

And, now?  I’m going to bed.  A girl can only take so much of a fetus dancing on her bladder as flames erupt through her digestive tract and the rest of her body generally feels like it’s been mauled by a train full of brownies that she can’t even eat due to the flames in her throat.  But first, I have homework for you all.  Please write and post (or leave in my comments) your TOP 10 MATERIAL THINGS wishlist.  You can add more things, if you want – and if you want to add experiences or vacations, you have to add that as like number 11 or beyond.  Oh, and Steph, SNOW totally doesn’t count for this one.  There really is a point to this, and I promise to let you know what exactly that is as soon as I figure it out.  Now, DO IT.  okaythanksbye.

Welcome back!