Over the past month, I’ve been doing a lot of “studying” Lorelei – not that that’s really unusual for me, but I’ve been doing more in a “hands-off” sort of way, like finding a corner of her room with a notepad or something to otherwise “look at” as I watch her without her knowing. We still have play time together (and with daddy), as well as introducing new games and toys and activities that are designed to help her learn yet another skill.
I watch how a lot of other people interact with Lorelei or their own kids, and I wonder if maybe I’m a bit “different” when it comes to parenting – although, being “different” in this aspect really doesn’t bother me much. Simply, I have watched and learned enough about Lorelei to be able to know what she needs.
Things we’ve learned
NO YELLING AT LORELEI rule. We will raise our voice to tell her “NO” or if she’s not listening, we’ll get her attention, but if either she refuses to listen or just refuses to obey, we go to where she is and talk to her (on her level). We tell her No, or if she’s frustrated, we comfort her and explain why things are going to happen as they are. Calmly.
We treat her like the individual she is. The golden rule of treat others as you’d like to be treated applies to babies and toddlers, too. She may not know what’s best for her, but she still deserves respect. So, it’s a rule around here that we don’t tease her to get certain responses and we don’t take things from her without first giving her the chance to hand them over on her own free will. Unless she’s in danger, or endangering someone/something else…then all bets are off. But, if she has crayons and gets up to run around the house, we will stop her and ask her nicely for them. She can choose to give them or not give them. Then, we tell her to give them to us in a calm voice. She can choose to or not to. (Mostly she will unless it’s a cell phone…then, she runs.) Next, if we still don’t have the crayons, we’ll go ahead and take them. This is SO simple in theory, but when you are really rushed, it’s hard to even think about negotiating with a toddler. But, the rewards have been HUGE. We’ve actually tested this: I would do it one way and then Steven would do it the other way (taking). It wasn’t long before we noticed that she would treat us as we did her. If we took stuff from her, she’d be more hesitant to give us things or share with us or afraid to let us look at something (because she didn’t want us to take it) and she’d began ripping things from our hands and running. Plus, there would be the tantrums – she didn’t understand WHY we’d taken something from her. On the flip side, when she gives it up on her own she’s eager to share, eager to hand us things, eager to listen and cooperate. I’m not saying she rules the house, just that we’ve taken a more respectful approach and it’s paid off for us.
New discoveries
Lorelei has gotten pretty good with her nesting blocks (shown in the picture). She’s learning smaller vs. larger and can tell the difference when it comes to bigger differences. Her block set VERY gradually gets bigger or smaller, so if she wants to use them all up (stacks taller than she is) I help her figure out which ones are slightly bigger and she stacks. But, the stack you see above? She did that. By herself. And, then she did a little dance around it.
She’s also been working with markers and crayons. She finally figured out that she has to push a bit harder to make the crayon color, and she loves coloring with a bunch of different colors (the kid likes variety). As for the markers, she has this habit of feeling the tips. Fortunately she doesn’t like the end result of marker dirtying her hands, so we’re trying to teach her that by holding the end of the marker she gets dirty hands. She grasped part of the concept today, but I don’t think it entirely clicked. Although, by the end she was being much more careful in how she held the markers.
We’ve also been exploring new words, names for things, and sounds, too. She’ll repeat colors and occasionally show you “blue,” but it’s not exactly 100%. We also have some “flash card” type cards with colors and pictures, but she has absolutely no interest in those yet. Well…she does…as playing cards.
Music is still huge for her right now, as is dancing. She dances and listens to music DAILY. I wish we had a closeby gymnastics programs for teeny kids so she could safely do front rolls on a padded surface…and even dance with other kids. Steven demonstrated a front roll a few days ago – I was going to but then convinced him to since he was having a cow at the idea of me doing it. So, he gets down to do a front roll really slowly as we have L watch and explain to her what he’s doing. Then, he began to go forward…and somehow flipped sideways instead, almost on top of us if I hadn’t stuck my foot out. He tried to do a redo but Lorelei was already fascinated and wanted to do the first version. So, for the rest of the evening, she carried a pillow around and put her head on it, just to flip over to her side like a fish out of water. It was pretty hilarious.
Emotions – we’ve been working on the faces that match them, as well how to control them.
Daddy and Grandpa S taught her to use a laptop mouse pad. So, if I lose an entire paragraph in a minute, that’s why!
Lorelei has also been great at mimicking, from me reading a book and her grabbing a novel off the shelf – something she’s become obsessed with (grown up books). She’ll sit and read for a long period of time. Okay, she’s not reading (I’m assuming), but she will look at it quietly in her chair beside me
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She’s also learning how to do some of the very taken for granted sorts of things…like carrying cups and bowls and plates with things on them (and not spilling them). Peeling bananas. Putting things in appropriate places (like trash, or putting something back)…although, we’ve not quite conquered entire rooms yet….
(I don’t have a closing here, just wanted to update on some of the things we’re doing and things she’s learning, as well as create something I can look back upon…)
