1. Sometimes, I misspell my name when typing: Ashely. Because I’m cool like that.

2. I say what I mean and mean what I say. Recently, my grandfather was baptized and my extremely talented cousin (who is also very humble) played the piano during part. Afterwards, I told him he did a fantastic job and his response was something like, “Thanks, even though you’re lying.” I looked at him evenly and responded, “You should know better. I don’t lie to make other people feel good.” He said something like “I should’ve known,” which kind of makes me think I should’ve reworded what I said, although it’s very true. You see, I HATE lying – it makes me feel crummy, makes others feel crummy, and it generally serves no purpose. There are a few lies I’ll tell, things that have to do with Christmas traditions, Easter traditions, and the such – although if my kid ever asks me straight up, I’ll tell the truth. If YOUR kid asked me, though, I’ll pretend to have a sudden migraine and tell them to ask you. But, seriously – I’ve become pretty good about deflecting questions like “Does my (80s) haircut look cute?” or “Does my butt look too big?” or “Do my teeth look funny to you?” because while I don’t want to lie to you, I really don’t see any good coming from saying anything that would hurt your feelings, either. ESPECIALLY when I know you’re looking for reassurance and not my honesty…so I deflect. I change subjects. I compliment something else. But, when it comes to serious issues, I tell you what I think and hope that I won’t lose a friend. I say what I say with respect and I say it in a way that’s as nice as I can, but sometimes the truth sucks anyhow. Then again, sometimes it’s just what you needed. So, if I tell you I love you, your hair looks cute, or I tell you I would jump on a plane and fly around the world for you – believe it.

3. As much as I make jokes like, “Does this look like a petting zoo? Right. Now, get your hand off my belly,” I really DON’T mind people that I know (and like) touching my stomach (when they ask). I think it’s almost sweet in a slightly creepy way. But, if I find you annoying and I don’t know you from Adam, I really want to do something mean like reach out to feel yours, regardless whether or not you’re pregnant.

4. I have a weird sense of humor – or, so they tell me. I still think setting off all of the alarm clocks in Walmart is amusing, as is pretending to be a mannequin in a store window while posing in really awfully odd poses. That, and I like pranks. Pranks are fun.

5. You know when your hair falls out in the shower? No, that only happens to me? Right, well sometimes I collect it on the shower wall and wait til I get out to scoop it off with some toilet tissue. Otherwise, it just gets tangled on my fingers and I can’t get it off. I’m outing myself.

6. I love organization and yet am the most messy person EVER. Okay, I hate dirty stuff in the house (dirty dishes, dirty floors, etc), but piles of stuff like books ALWAYS happens here. Actually, so does the dirty dishes part and dirty floors – but, that’s not entirely my fault and we can go back to that later (or never). I’m blaming the lack of organization on the lack of money to buy organizational stuff that looks good. For example, I JUST got a bedside table for my side of the bed. JUST. And, other than 2 bedside tables, we only have our closets to store things in our room. I seriously need like about 500 bucks to blow at IKEA so I can get some organizational stuff for the bajillions of books and craft supplies.

7. I don’t *do* cutesy figurines. Unless it’s around a holiday and I put it out as decoration, but mostly we don’t *do* cute figurines. We have a few things in each room that are placed specifically and then, that’s it. Fortunately my husband subscribes to this idea as well. Unfortunately, this doesn’t really remedy our whole lack of space for things issue…although you think it’d help. It doesn’t.

8. I’m so far away from Martha Stewart, it’s not even funny. I can and do cook and clean, although I’ve not been doing much of either ever since I got pregnant and was overcome by some sort of plague. But, technically I can do both. So can my husband. And, in a perfect world, we’d rather hire someone to do both. Ahhh if only we had that much disposable income. Hell, if only we had ANY disposable income.

9. Despite some of the most recent posts, my life really isn’t all doom and gloom. I swear. Things go up, and things come down – but, in general I prefer to see the light in even the worst situations…even if I do need to throw a fit at first.

10. I’m a closet princess. Seriously. My husband even bought me a tiara (which is in my closet) because he agrees (on my awesomeness). We’re both waiting for the “help” to arrive, and for someone else to clean up this dang mess.

Welcome back!