Little Moment One:

The smallest things you do…warm my heart the most….  Like, when you reach your little arms out for just another hug.  The way you try to “help” pull your legs out of your sleeper pajamas with your little hands, and how you try to help un velcro your diaper and hold your legs and kiss your toes during diaper changings.  Or, how you pull on your PJs while sliding your legs in, helping to redress yourself, and then your tiny fingers find the zipper so you can help pull.

Little Moment Two:

Me: (handing Lorelei a bag of grapes)  “Lorelei, look!  Mmm!  Grapes!”

Lorelei:  (bends over the grapes and pretends to chew)  “Mooo!”

Little Moment Three:

After waking up, Lorelei spies me in the other bed, pretending to still be sleeping and begins to read softly to her self.  After seeing me move, she shouts “Yay!  Hey!  Momma!  UP!”  There’s nothing like being greeted first thing by her cheerful smile and greetings…

Welcome back!

I know a LOT of people HATE New Year’s lists, but I kind of love them.  To me, it’s just a set of goals to keep me focused and it matters less about what I did or didn’t do, and more about the journey that came from trying.

My 2008 List:

1. I want to catch up on my scrapbooking for Elle. In fact, I want to start attending Friday Night Crops on a regular basis.

2. I plan to write some great informative articles and have them published.

3. I want to open up an etsy shop

4. I want to spend some time crafting items for said etsy shop!

5. I want to learn how to make pretty baked (and decorated) cakes. The buy-worthy kind. The $50 cake kind!

6. I want to learn to make some AWESOME HEALTHY meals…that taste great and even look great

7. I want to learn to ballroom dance. Dropped this one

8. I want to travel to another country (like Jamaica…teehee!)

9. I want to be stronger in my faith and lead others by example

10. I plan to become a Kindergarten Sunday School Teacher **Didn’t achieve, but only because I changed my goal to not include that one…

11. I want to take more pictures, and learn more about my camera  I did learn MORE, but I still yearn for more…

12. I MUST have Adobe Photoshop for Macs. I HAVE to!

My 2009 List:

1.  I will finish my novel by December 2009.

2.  I will catch up on scrapbooking (I’m behind by a year) by April 2009.

3.  I will either find places for the things in our home not organized, or I will give them/throw them away.

4.  The kitchen cabinets and remainder of the trim in our kitchen WILL be painted white by April 2009.

5.  I will begin taking a photograph everyday, or at least aim to.  However, I will not stress out if I miss a few here and there.

6.  I will plant a garden again this year (come spring).  Only bigger.

7.  I will learn to can some of the extra food I reap from said garden.

8.  I will learn to make fancy cakes like I wanted to last year.  Even if it’s just a few.

9.  I will have the carpet pulled upstairs and lay down an inexpensive roll of flooring if money allows…just to get the nasty carpet up.

10.  I will do more crafts, painting, and writing in general.

11.  I will attempt to make a quilt.

12.  I will start earlier with making Christmas gifts…hopefully number 10 will help with that

13.  Oh yeh…and I will be at BlogHer 09 come hell or high water AND do some minor traveling (think closer to home)

14.  I will continue to work to reduce my debt.

Happy NEW YEAR, everyone!

I did this this past year, and liked it…so here’s my updated version…

MY INCOMPLETION INVENTORY

Here’s a place to get started.  Jot down your unfinished business, and don’t forget to assign a completion date: N, for “now” (which means now); L, for “later” (but also add a date); C, for “complete”; or NTL, for “not in this lifetime.”

Unfinished Business

1.  Things I want to start but haven’t started: 

- Experiment with Cake Baking…you know, the pretty decorated sort…that people buy —Later, like when it’s prettier outside so I can walk off all the flops I couldn’t let go to waste!
- Craft more —starting first of January
-Begin making Christmas gifts early in the year so I won’t have to race to get the finished
-More trips – Later, and depends on cash flow
-Write more
-Make a Quilt – Later, I have some other things to get through first
-Paint the kitchen cabinets
-Pull up carpet upstairs –Later…cash flow needed
-Make an effort to organize downstairs more and find creative ways to do so on a budget
-Plant another garden in spring
-Learn to can
-better at photography by re-starting my one-a-day photos – January one would be a good day to start that…

2.  Things I want to change but haven’t changed:

The kitchen, I guess.  Painting the cabinets.  There’s more I’d like changed, of course but it depends on…not me

3.  Things I want to stop but haven’t stopped. 

Curse words.  I think that is it.

4.  Things I started but haven’t finished. 

Organizing.  Oh…and my scrapbook.  I REALLY need to catch up with that.  I’m about a year behind!

And, my novel.  It’s in the works still.

5.  Things I want to do but haven’t done. 

See number one.

6.  Things I want to say but haven’t said.

I think I’m pretty much good on this one.  Everything I want said is being said, one way or another.  I’m not going to allow CRAP build up inside me anymore.
7.  Things I want to learn but haven’t learned.

-cake making, canning

 8.  Things I have felt but haven’t expressed.

There’s a lot I feel that I dont NEED to express…but the things I’ve needed to, I have.

Feel free to use this list…I got it from realsimple.com LAST YEAR…

This is the felt board I made for Lorelei for Christmas – it’s great for children beginning at approximately 18 months up to almost any age (the older the child, the more complex pieces they’ll like for their board).

To make your own, all you’ll need is :

-scissors
-a framed corkboard from the store (or used)
-a butter knife
-enough felt to cover the board and the frame
-extra felt for pieces

To make the board, simply cut out enough felt to cover your board and slightly less so that it cover about half of the frame.  I cut one side at a time, as I went so I wouldn’t end up with too little.  Next, using a butter knife,  wedge the felt between the board and the frame, being sure to pull the rest of the felt so wrinkles don’t appear.  If your frame is loose, you may need to secure it with some glue or adhesive but mine worked fine.

For your felt pieces, your imagination (or someone else’s) is the limit.  You can make random shapes, people and clothes, or characters in a storybook…

Some ideas:

-Cars and trucks
-People and clothing
-Scenes: farm, zoo, city, etc.
-animals
-letters and numbers
-shapes that can be put together to make other objects (you could also include googly eyes with felt backing for strange creatures)
-seasonal shapes like snowflakes, ice skates, autumn leaves, jack o lanterns, etc
-story book (or Bible) characters and accessories to play out stories

*For much older kids, you could easily entertwine history lessons or science or art or WHATEVER to help the children re-play to you what they’ve learned…or, as a simple way of showing visually what you’re teaching.

Total Cost: Free to $10, depending on if you have the materials already or if you buy an expensive cork board.

You see that? – The pudge under my shirt that is not longer just my stomach, but an overextended uterus with a mini karate-choppin child in it? Right, that’s my belly shot for this week.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy showing off random body parts for you all, it’s just that the scraggly old man at the corner with the cardboard sign looked at me all funny when I told him I’d pay him with a burrito if he’d take a picture of my belly. How was I supposed to know it was a priest on his off day, just taking out the trash?

Plus, let’s go ahead and throw in that there’s some general confusion in these parts as to where exactly the baby is, especially after Lorelei grabbed my boob and exclaimed “baby!” So, am I supposed to be taking belly shots now – or boob shots? I’m not really sure, anymore…

I’m now gaining weight, which probably has absolutely nothing to do with completely balanced meals I’ve been eating – like, peanut butter fudge (for protein), white enriched pasta (grains?), cheese pizza (vegetable, grains, fruits, AND calcium). Oh, and the Eggo waffles I just slammed down. Really, I’m pretty sure it’s the scales and the fact that they try to weigh me every time I have to pee – I weigh a totally different number every time I bounce. It’s amazing, you should try it.

I’m doing exceedingly well with not ripping anyone’s head off, I think. Especially considering the asshats that have made comments regarding my sometimes-less-than-cheery blog posts as being hormonal-inspired. Obviously not. If it were hormonal inspired, I’d be threatening death to the person who let something like my empty wallet get in the way of giving me that last damn donut in the coffee shop. You know, important stuff like that. So, unfortunately this pregnancy hasn’t rid me of normal human emotions (yet, anyways) and I still experience insane giddiness and even sadness like the rest of you mad folk.

Oh! Wait! The morning sickness stuff is pretty much gone, as long as I grab something to eat when I get up. No more Zofran! I’ve been a little preoccupied so I almost missed that grand little nugget. Occasionally, my entire tummy just jolts here and there…especially after I eat an entire bag of …oh, say Oreos. Of course, I’d never do that…pshaw. I don’t even like Oreos THAT much. Red’s donuts though? Sure. Little Aurora likes donuts too…she gets super worked up for them.

Do I mention that my bladder is almost like a 70 year old’s now? I’m fairly sure I could still hold a contest with my Grams and win, but the sudden moments where I realize I HAVE TO PEE NOW, DAMMIT are a bit of a pain in the rear when you’re in an area with either no bathroom, or a bathroom that much resembles what you’d imagine the lavatories in a run-down whore house to look like. Or, maybe you just rocked the sick toddler to sleep and now she’s sleeping comfortably on you…you almost wish you’d thought to cover the couch in plastic just so you wouldn’t have to move. Almost. But not.

Luckily, I’m no longer going to pee 80 times a night – although I know that’ll be back soon enough as the baby grows. Right now, I can hold it for an entire night, even though by 6 AM things get a bit uncomfortable, but I’d rather pee in the coffee cup and throw it out the window then wake up Lorelei who’s less than three feet from my bed in her own crib. There’s just some things you don’t mess with, a sick toddler being one of them.

Come back next week for the next installment – although I can’t promise to talk about urine and donuts in the same post.  But, we’ll see…

I know, I know…it’s the 29th of December and I’m just now recap-ping our Christmas events – so sue me.  Actually, please don’t.

With all things considered, Christmas went fairly well.  We managed to cram 3 family events into 2 days (and two more in the week before), and even caught the tail end of yet another one within those two days.   Lorelei was showered by gifts by family and friends, and with the help of Mimi and Gramps, Santa was even able to do a little extra shopping – which is pretty great, especially since Steven and I kind of fell through on one of the gifts we were making (it MIGHT be finished by mid January! Ha).

I’m not sure she’d be able to pick just ONE favorite if we asked her, but this dollhouse comes pretty close (the Caring Corners Mrs. Goodbee Talking Dollhouse – you can win one by checking out my latest giveaways).  I wasn’t entirely sure she’d love it as she mostly only pulls the legs off her dollar store barbie at Mimi’s and she’s never really played with a dollhouse like…EVER.

I’m happy to announce, however, that no dolls have since been decapitated or amputated.  She’s surprised us and caught on immediately that this house is basically a miniature model of the real thing, and further surprised us when she pretended to make the baby cry and then put it in its crib after a kiss (from her) goodnight.

Between that and about 8 dolls (yes, seriously!  – and she loves them all), a couple of farm sets (that were different), zoo sets, wooden play food, books, a felt board that I made for her, a wooden beading set, alphabet and princess puzzles, sleepers, black boots, and a jacket…and oh, gosh…the list could really go on a bit more because I’m fairly sure I’ve left SOMETHING out.

Oh yes, she received a mop and broom, too.  Lorelei sized.  Which may strike you as odd…unless you know her…then, you’d know she likes to do everything the bigger folk do (or don’t do, as the case may be).  And, so on Christmas, she dry mopped every bit of Mimi’s kitchen and living room.

And, then there’s this:

See that pitiful, darling face?  She also picked up a virus for Christmas (and promptly passed it on to mommy)…so, right now we’re all sniffles and tired eyes and exhausted.

Hope you all stay healthy and have a great New Year!!

I had felt like I had been beaten to the ground – over and over again – and simply couldn’t take anymore.  Or, if I did, it’d be stupid on my part – to the point where I might even begin to deserve it should I stay and let things go on the way they were.

Then, in my Christmas stocking from my wonderful mother, I found a book: YOUR BEST LIFE NOW by JOEL OSTEEN.  If you’ve never heard of him, he’s a TV evangelist – and if you know me, you’d know that this fact would possibly be enough to encourage me to set the book down never to read.  I’m simply not a fan of “pushy” anything – from religion to Avon, it really doesn’t matter.  Not that I don’t think spirituality is worthwhile, it’s just I don’t like what certain people and groups of people have done with the entire subject.

But, I picked it up anyhow, figuring that if I could glean even one little nugget of inspiration – or something to inspire wisdom inside my soul the entire book would be worth it (to me).  I had barely gotten through the first four chapters when there it was:

“….’a twofold recompense for our former shame.’  That means if you’ll keep the right attitude, God will pay you back double for your trouble.  He’ll add up all the injustice, all the hurt and pain that people have caused you, the abuse and embarrassment, and He’ll pay you back with twice as much joy, peace, and happiness.”

The notion that somehow we can be paid back for the hell we’ve been dealt…and, double…is pretty big to me.  To me, it means that while I’m sorting through things and trying to make the right decisions, I don’t have to worry about “being the fool” and ever going back, because if I truly believe things will change, I’m not the fool at all.  That, by giving him that luxury of yet another chance, of turning yet another “cheek” and forgiving it all again, I may be taking a chance but it will not be one that goes unrewarded.  And, whether this leap of faith sends me plunging back into deep water again is somewhat irrelevant to the good things I will see from something – or Someone- much bigger than myself.

Although this quote from Isaiah 61:7 gives me a fresh perspective on a tiny facet of the things I’m mulling over, it doesn’t necessarily make me ready to jump in with my eyes closed.  So, for now I smile, knowing that everything that has happened so far wasn’t just for naught, and even the bad that may come later will eventually be turned into something good, something better.  A lot of thinking and learning and feeling is yet to come, as I wait in hope that I will observe some magnificent changes that will bring me home again…

…to the place I wish most to belong.

Where I am…

Looking up at the sky, as the clouds begin to roll away.  The smell of rain still fresh in the air, but the threat of thunder and lightening receding back and away.  In this large meadow with tiny purple flowers, with the soft breeze on my face…all I can think of is the light and airy feeling that feels much like freedom…

AT THIS MOMENT.

In front of me, I can see the cliffs and overhangs, I see the churning black waters, and the dangerous stony mountains all ahead.

But, at this moment…I can breathe.

Ahead of me are so many paths, paths I’ve never taken before – Many of which could quite possibly destroy me…

Should *I* let them.

But, for this moment..I’ll just breathe.

Tomorrow is another day.

To you and yours,

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,

the Bosssanders’ clan