I’m a day early, but I have some updates that I want to log journal-style so I don’t forget them.

This weekend, Steven and I did some major cleaning – not that you can tell now, of course. And, in the process I also had him accompany me to the major mess I made upstairs. My mom took me out to get a few Maternity items a few weeks ago, but I’m REALLY needing my other loot. I still have no idea what I even have in terms of winter things, though because … turns out, when I reorganized the attic, the maternity box went missing. It is VERY possible that those clothes are stuffed in with some baby stuff or…maybe something else…but, this is going to require dragging out 30 boxes and really heavy totes and emptying them, neatly stuffing them back, and then re-arranging them in the attic. Did I mention that I have almost no room to pull these boxes out? Fun times. And, in the end…it could just be missing. You know, a thief or something. For one box. Of maternity clothes.

Right now, I have one pair of jeans, a pair of black pants, 2 maternity shirts which will require a bigger tummy for me to wear, and some larger normal PJ pants and tshirts. Oh, and a few spring/summer tops. That I can’t wear. So, basically…if you see me out…I’ll be wearing either jeans and a LS green shirt or jeans and the exact same shirt in purple with a print on it. And, they’ll probably be dirty.

I’m not feeling the energy to go upstairs and squeeze into an attic to argue with my husband about how the clothes MUST be in there and now we MUST look through each box. On the flipside, asking him to do it solo as a favor would look much like this:

(Shines flashlight around quickly) “Nope, don’t see ‘em. We done here?”

Men.

That’s all.

I also have this fantabulous rash on my stomach, which I know has to be hormones or something else random because it moves, almost daily. Like a heat rash, except maybe not since I am not hot. Just itchy. And, its one of those rashes YOU can see but everyone else has to double squint to even pick up, and even then they are probably lying because they don’t want to look at your belly anymore? I remember getting these with L though, so I’m not surprised. Just more itching.

My nausea is still here, and with it are coming these insane emotions. Like, this morning I convinced myself again that the baby is dead. I convinced myself that since I’m not feeling any flutters or movement and I just have this awkward nausea that makes me sick when I want to eat, just enough to not want to eat. I keep thinking I should FEEL something, and be more obsessed with food. But, really…food (especially ground beef, chocolate, chicken, etc) makes me want to gag. I can do an occasional awesome Prime Rib sandwich from Garden Gate, or maybe some other meats that are made into exquisite sandwiches but ground beef in my chili makes me want to vomit. So does lunchmeat and chunks of chicken. It’s like I’m becoming an accidental vegetarian or something.

So, by noon I was so convinced that I needed to see my doctor – just to HEAR a heartbeat or to see a flutter, I was calling and trying to change my appointment. Luckily, they were busy and couldn’t grab the phone, and then left a message just to say call back after lunch because they were going on lunch. Which, gave me the perfect opportunity to look through my journal from when I was pregnant with L. I’m about 3 weeks different on the dates than when I was pregnant with L, and most things are pretty much the same.

EXCEPT… When I was 15 weeks pregnant with L, I was much sicker feeling. I was still taking Zofran (which I’ve mostly already weaned myself off of) occasionally. I wasn’t up to all day excursions because I tired out too quickly. And, guess what…no flutters or random kicks until 18 months with L.

And, if I think really hard about it…Last night, the baby might have kicked…well, head butted me as it’s still small. Whatever it was, it felt like a fury of movement into an organ inside me. Mostly, because L sat on him/her, I think. Note to self: baby doesn’t like being sat on. Got it.

I am having some major emotional ups and downs. Partly situational, I think and partly hormonal pregnant girl stuff. Mostly, I can tell the difference between the two when it’s happening. For example, hormonal pregnant girl wants to kick the puppy out because he’s disturbing her sleep and she has to clean more. She also wants to kick the cats out because they’re causing trouble and being really naughty lately. And, possibly even the kid because she’s throwing tantrums now, which makes me the worst mom in the world. Hormonal pregnant girl also wants a doppler so she can later go beserk when she can’t find a heartbeat with the confusing little devices, and then run to the doctor for a quickie ultrasound. Hormonal pregnant girl feels like throwing herself on the floor and throwing her own tantrum because she has lots of clothes in her closet that she can’t wear and she can’t find the box of mostly cheap maternity clothes she probably wouldn’t want to wear anyhow (Lesson: Don’t buy cheap maternity clothes. They feel awful, make you itch worse, and fall apart, and look funny/fit funny. ) – most of the “better” maternity clothes are spring/summer that I had ( I think). Except for my favorite jogging suit…which I won’t jog in. At all.

But, no animals or children will be kicked out, and if I throw a tantrum, I’ll try to wait until I’m alone. And, I’ll be trying to stay away from the phone to call my doctor because there is no legitimate reason for me to think anything is anything other than okay. Besides, in an hour, I’ll probably feel better about most of it for a while…until I go crazy again shortly after.

Other news, I have no idea how much I weigh and have found myself procrastinating EVERYTHING…from novel writing to getting out of bed in the morning (because I have a 20 page to do list I know I won’t finish) to writing my novel to blogging on First Impressions (which I’m thinking of closing down). OY.

Current cravings: Red Velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing and Prime Rib sandwich from Garden Gate

Welcome back!

Sometimes, new puppies can be fun – until they puke worms and shriek through the night and poo all over the place, that is.  Mostly, new puppies are a lot of work…like husbands…and potty-training toddlers…  Wait.  Wait.  This doesn’t seem to be going in my favor, here.

During our first vet visit (for Chance, not EVER…we already have a houseful of animals) tonight, we were informed scared shitless of all of the possible diseases and malfunctions this new puppy could have…and could be leaching into our home and daughter and other pets.

“Only 30-something for this test, and a gazillion dollars for treatments if positive, and this test…and blablabla.”

My eyes glazed over as the vet began sending me into imaginary bankruptcy over a very hypochondriac’s dream list for pets.  A few minutes later, I had recovered and began my barrage of questions.

I’m pretty sure our appointment was the longest initial puppy exam on their record…except perhaps, the other initial exams I had with our other pets.

Turns out, I’m a genius and our dog DOES have roundworms…just like I told the vet.  They’re still holding out on him having parvovirus and scaring the bejeebus out of us but…I’m thinking not.  The three symptoms he has/had that are even similar to parvo are also symptoms of roundworms…and, of course going to a new home (lethargy and not eating).  But, just in case we’ll watch him as the roundworm meds course through and make sure he’s getting better.  But, he will.  Sure he will.

On a much brighter side…I got my haircut today.  Yeh yeh, I know.  It costs money and yadda yadda but the last time I had my hair cut was…late spring I think?  It’ll probably be just as long before I have the chance to go back and I definitely needed the trim.  And, then I had her wax my eyebrows because well…nobody looks cute with migrating eyebrows, and bending over the sink was starting to get a little uncomfortable and pretty much made me want to pass out.  See?  I did it for mine and the baby’s health.  Good cause.  Honest.

I’d post pictures and all, but who are we kidding?  I’m way too lazy for that right now.  In fact, if our couch was more comfortable I’d totally just stretch out and call it a night…at 9:43 pm.  *Sigh*

This past year, I only found out about Blogher a month or two in advance of the convention, so was unable to go.  However, this year…I’m hoping and praying we can go there.  There are many obstacles, of course, in our way…but I’m hoping we’ll get there nonetheless.

Besides the 7K in medical bills that HAVE to be taken care of PRONTO from my pregnancy hospital stays, we’ll also be toting around a fabulous brand new baby (2 month old) around that time, and since I plan to BF, he/she will either have to come with or …something.  I don’t know yet.  Bring the 2 month old or pack a cooler and send him/her to my parents, I can decide that later.  I am incredibly excited, however that next year BlogHer 09 will be held in Chicago! –Which is way closer to us and will be way easier (more likely) to afford.

But, I’m going to need your help.  I know many of you are going and I want to see each of you (and if you have no idea what I’m talking about, go to blogher.com and read about their conferences).  If you read me in your feeds, will you please start clicking through?  You don’t HAVE to comment, but for ad sites that track my visitors this is helpful for me.  Later on, I’ll come up with some more ideas (or, start following in other smart bloggers footsteps) and see what happens.  I’m hoping to make this blog PAY for my way to BlogHer 09.

I can’t wait to see you there….

XOXO

Ash

We’re starting off our week with chili, and I have 2 favorites: Huckdoll’s chili and … crap.  I don’t have a good name for the other one…  it’s Steven’s mom’s recipe.  He calls it “damn good chili,” maybe we’ll just go with that.  (We’ll be having DGC tomorrow night.  Tuesday night will be chili dogs using leftovers of the DGC.)

Damn (or Darn) Good Chili

4 cans Busch’s chili beans
2 lbs ground beef
Approximately 34.5 oz of tomato juice (or to taste)
8 oz of sliced jalapenos (in a jar)
salt, pepper, and chili powder to taste

Brown the hamburger meat, then throw everything in a pot and heat it up.  Ta-Da.

Huckdoll’s Chili 

1 small onion, diced and a few sprinkles of flaked red chili pepper, sauteed in a bit of olive oil in a large skillet or saucepan

Add 2 cans Mexican or chili style stewed tomatoes
Add 2 small cans of whole kernel corn
Add 1 can of black beans

Stir all ingredients and let simmer for however long.

Top with sour cream (no- or low- fat is good, too) and shredded cheddar

Personally… Onions and I don’t get along too well, so I skip that first step and it still turns out yummy.  Except Steven doesn’t like it because it’s “girly” and has no meat…which is exactly why I like it…no beef. 

I’ve gone back to menu planning (now that I’m feeling better) and am once again on the lookout for really inexpensive yet healthy dinners. And, most of what WASN’T healthy, can be made that way by using whole wheat flour/noodles, brown rice, organic or fresh produce, lean meats, etc.

This week, we spent 124.75, and here’s the menu for the next TWO weeks (we had some ingredients…like a bag of beans and a couple of other random things):

1. Pepperoni and cheese Calzones
2. Pasta and beef soup and Giant Pretzels
3. Pasta and tater tot casserole (using previous night leftovers)
4. Chicken and Rice
5. Broccoli and Cheese Soup and Giant Pretzels
6. Chicken Pot Pie
7. Chicken Nuggets and Baked Potatoes
8. Sloppy Joes
9. 5 Bean Soup
10. Jambalaya
11. Tacos and tater tots (if there are leftover tots)
12. Chili
13. Chili dogs

Just In Case Meals (Meals we can make from the pantry):

-Another Bean Soup
-Chicken Nuggets and Macaroni and cheese
-Chicken Spaghetti or Spaghetti without meat
-Pasta with vegetables and a light tomato sauce

Lunches will be leftovers from the nights before or pizza rolls/turkey sandwiches (for L, if she won’t eat what we had the night before).  Plus veggies and fruits for snacks.  Or…peanut butter sandwiches

I’m not really sure what the serving sizes are on some of these meals, so some will last longer than others.

So, what are you guys cooking up this week?  Have any good recipes that are pretty inexpensive to make?  I’m wondering if next time I can shave some off of that total…  (Suggestions welcome)

I thought it might be fun to just “browse” the local animal shelters, today. We spent most of the morning (okay, all of it: 7:30am-1pm) cleaning the house and I thought it’d be a nice treat to go see the kitties and dogs and play with and pet them.

“We’re not getting one,” Steven grumbled as we packed the bags to go out.

The first animal shelter had mostly rowdy dogs, and Lorelei was scared of the workers – she wanted to pet the crazy border collie mix pups, but she wouldn’t go near the lady holding them…not that I blame her. So, we headed on to the second shelter which was our stop before the grocery. Cage after cage, we saw dogs big and small, some yippy and some with the saddest eyes.

And, I didn’t even want one.

Turns out…Steven did.

See the little dude on the left? Meet Chance (he has 6 toes on each back foot!)
Steven also thinks Chance is sleeping in bed with him, tonight.

I’m hoping (for his sake) that by “bed,” he means the living room floor.

*QUICK HISTORY : Chance is part-Mountain Curr.  His (and his sisters’) owners needed a new home for him because the puppies were…unexpected.  They had some ideas about who Chance’s dad was, but apparently there were several choices.  Mountain Currs are a KY and TN bred dog and have helped the early settlers (esp in the mountains) settle in these parts.  They are not recognized by the AKC but are recognized by other groups and are considered sporting dogs.  Although great at hunting and tracking, they are very concerned with pleasing their “master” so they can be called off trails easily.  Also, they are great family dogs and can be protective when needed.  And, apparently…6 toes is “normal” in the Mountain Curr breed. *

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I think I want a new dog.

But, I really don’t.

I think I want a large, outside dog.  A grown up one that’s already been potty trained, is calm, and leash trained.

But, I really don’t.

The dog at a local gift shop has captured my heart by the gentle way he loves Lorelei and plays with her and how she adores him back.

But, I don’t really want one.

I hear stories about how larger dogs save the children in their families and are such intricate members of the family.

But, I don’t really want one.  They shed.  Alot.

My brain seems to think I want one, and I catch myself planning intricate plans – things like underground invisible fences, magnetic doggy doors, and a special inside/outside room for our dog…a dog that I do not have or want.  Maybe it’s the maternal instinct or an overload of hormones…some people want to get their hair chopped off and I want yet another animal?  Maybe it’s because I really NEED to be in control of something in my life right now while everything else feels like it’s tumbling around my feet.  Maybe.

 But, I swear…I don’t really want another dog.  Not right now.  Nope.

 Okay…maybe a little…

Stephanie at Keeper Of The Home is having a great little Organic Gardening Carnival!  I knew I’d be searching the entries for information to help me out next year, but I’m not sure how much I can offer as this past year was my first to truly garden by myself.  But, I’ll tell you what I learned, and heck – it might actually help someone!

First, we tilled the area and then hoed it and threw out the clumps.  I hoed it into rows and even made a diagram of where everything was.  I really really encourage using a diagram, by the way.  Mine was really detailed, and next year, I’ll probably draw what the seedlings will look like for new plants so it’s easier for me to identify them and not mistake them for weeds.  Actually, when most of my produce began growing in, I left weeds and all.  I wasn’t quite sure what would be a weed, and what was something I planted.

All of my seeds were bought from Walmart.  I needed something fast and cheap and while I realize this isn’t the BEST way to go about it, it worked OKAY for us (although next year, I’d like to buy some other things from catalogs).

How and what we planted.  As I said, I planted in rows, taking care to plant the herbs in the last row which was closest to the woods to help discourage rabbits and deer from having a snack.  Next year, I think I will pot my herbs so it’s easier to bring them in during the winter – and I’ll probably throw in some marigolds and other flowers to help keep the animals out.  I didn’t really have an issue with animals this year but figure once they find my garden, they’ll be lunching.  There wasn’t really a huge method to my madness when I planted, I just tried to give the more “bushy/viney” (like tomatoes)  plants more room, as well as ensure enough room for any root vegetables.

Things that didn’t work so well.  I really wanted to try composting this past year, but wanted to try it small scale to see if it was for me.  I had read that you could use wooden pallets and nail those together, but seeing as I’m so tiny, I thougt it’d be hard for me to get to without some major readjusting, so I bought a school crate.  I piled in leaves and food peelings and any veggie/fruit leftovers to no avail.  I was able to turn it and all, but nothing really came of it.  I’m asking my brother to make me this composter for Christmas.  Also, my squash, potatoes, asparagus and a few others didn’t really come in like I’d hoped.  So, I’ll be looking to plant those in different areas and will be picking out different seeds or starters.

Other issues.  Fortunately, I didn’t have much of a problem with pests or mildew or anything.  There were some slugs but I found some organic spray recipes that got rid of them quickly.

Things I plan to change:

- I want to explore composting more, and hopefully with a real composter!
- Order more organic seeds from reputable companies
-Make my drawings/diagrams a bit more complete with seedling drawings
- Pot the herbs
- Make a bed just for the asparagus
- Plant edible flowers, as well as some extra fruits and vegetables

All in all, I was pretty happy with how things turned out and am really excited to try my hand at this again next year!

Here’s the link I used for Organic Pest Control that really helped me!

As I promised, belly shot this week (excuse the marks, I had been sleeping)! We’ve finally reached 14 weeks – and, very soon we’ll be finding out whether baby “A” is a he or she. (By the way, we’ve nicknamed the baby “A” because the main names we like begin with an A.)

Sooo…. here’s your chance to guess. Is it a boy or girl?

Feel free to ask me questions before you make your guess, or to request that I do some odd “tests” (like the pendant over the belly, and whatever else). I’ll subject myself to most of them unless it involves pain or explosives. And, your “test” can’t be the ultrasound (that’s cheating).

So, what say you?

My notes (for me):

- I haven’t puked for 2 weeks!! Still nauseous and sometimes I wonder, but doing much better…
- Really tired. If I don’t get in bed by 9 pm, I start feeling sick.
- Food and I have a really weird relationship. I do much better at a restaurant where my glass is always filled and I have a huge menu just waiting for me to make my choice.
- I can’t get enough water, it seems. And, if I don’t drink an ocean every hour or so, my body gets very cranky.
- Still itchy.
- The exercising? Yeh, I tried and mostly I just thought I was going to die halfway through.
- I just started back on prenatal vitamins, as my body seems like it might actually tolerate them now. The bad news? They’re like $40/bottle and I need a new bottle.
- No cravings, but I have been wanting more “fresh-tasting foods” still. And, very little meat (not often). Unfortunately, I still don’t know exactly what I want when it comes to planning these meals.
- My face seems to be clearing up a bit, but my hair is still shedding like nobody’s business.
- And, God forbid, but I might just be getting the beginning of heartburn. It’s in spurts and only here and there, and definitely not full on – but, I’d like it to please go away now.

I don’t.  I hate smear campaigns, I hate the whole “who you know” aspect of things, and I hate the money ties.  In general, I hate politics.  Even so, I can’t possibly NOT blog about an election that will change our lives forever.

I believed this election was SO important, that I actually voted – the first year ever for me to do so.  (Although, if you figure in my age you may balk a little less.)  But, this year, I got up early, got the family dressed and headed out to do our “American duty.”  Funny thing is, I didn’t vote for either of the main presidential candidates – in fact, I didn’t vote for any of them.  I wrote someone in.

If you know me well, you know that my thinking has never really been able to captured “inside the box.”  I was always the kid raising their hand during multiple choice tests (much to the teacher’s dismay) and saying, “Well technically…” and “But, I wouldn’t do either of those things!!”  “Just pick one!” They’d snarl.  And, so I would – but, not without writing in the margins yet another choice they had forgotten or left out.  Yesterday, though was different.  Yesterday was my chance to weigh in on something as an ADULT – an adult who would not be graded for the “right” answer.  And, as such an adult, I believed it was my duty to not choose what many were calling “The Less Of Two Evils.”  (Note:  I don’t think either man is evil or would bring down the US, I just wasn’t full onboard with either.)

So, I wrote someone in.  A real person, someone that HAD been running but then dropped out of the race.  Someone that I believed in.

Of course, that person didn’t win – and Obama did.  Steven and I watched the election results on our laptops feverishly, constantly updating the results as they came in.  And, when Obama won, I was glad.  When it came to Obama vs. McCain only, I did have my preferences – but, to be honest I would’ve found the positive in either as a victor.  I believe both have their shortcomings (as do we all), but both definitely have their own positives, as well.

We watched as the numbers skyrocketed and Obama won – and for the first time in history, we will have a bi-racial president.  This man will try his darnedest to fix our health care so nobody has to suffer alone, and he will help alleviate some of the financial strain many of us are feeling.  He’s going to try to make this place a little greener, and he’s giving a lot of people HOPE.

I know a lot of people were downright AGAINST Obama, and I’ve heard the slurs and the horrible words (oftentimes paired with your religious beliefs, which strikes me as ironic).  But, I hope all of you can take a breath and realize that no matter what color his skin, where he came from, or whether or not he supports gay marriage and a woman’s right to choose – he also represents a lot more.

He represents change.  He represents hope.  He represents America.

Just go with it.  Embrace it for what it is and do your part to make this a better place for ourselves and our children.