I’m finally feeling better and while I hope that mess is behind me now, I’m erring on the side of caution for a couple of weeks before making any announcements such as “I’m cured!” “All better” “Let’s go out for drinks (Nonalcoholic of course, for me).” I really hate being bitten in the ass. Anyhow, now that I can sit up without barfing and walk ten feet without passing out, I’m starting to sort of feel bad that there are still 2 laundry baskets FULL of clean clothes and 2 FULL of dirty, as well as a messy house and you can’t even see my kitchen table for all of the boxes and bags. Oh wait, there IS still a kitchen table in there, right? Sort of. I sort of feel bad. And then I realize that that’s how it was BEFORE I came back and that Mr. Clearlynotthebosssanders can catch that stuff up. Someday, I’ll have to start cleaning again, but not today. For now, I’ll just sneak in the extra dirty clothes to the huge pile in the floor and pretend they were there all along. Shh. Don’t tell him, k?

And, now that I’m feeling better, the fear of blowing up like a freakin’ Michelin Man display really scares me. I stocked up on an armload of nifty pregnancy exercise dvds, hoping at least one of them would tell me to sit the frick down with some juice and just relax and watch SOAPS because DUDE I’M PREGNANT. No such luck. They all want me to lift my leg here, move my arms like this, and do these interesting things with an exercise ball. Today, I thought I’d do this. You know, go for it. I got out one of the dvds and the accompanying exercise ball they sent me (because they love me) and looked it over. Which made me hungry. So I ate. That’s right, I chose a potato skin over exercising – and I did it all for the baby, because you know what? This kid needs its nutrition and what kind of mother would I be to withhold perfectly good nutrition?

The exercise ball was still in the box and quite frankly should’ve come with directions. I’ve blown up exercise balls before but this thing kept whistling at me and it was a bit unnerving. The fact that I was out of breath by the end of ball inflation should have told me to quit while I was ahead but Nooooo. It did, however, inspire a sudden need for chocolate. And, then of course I began feeling guilty about the chocolate and needed another potato skin just to even things out a bit. And then, I really had to go sign up for all of the giveaways at the Bloggy Giveaway, where I promptly entered giveaways for more chocolate (I need an intervention). I would’ve procrastinated longer, but Steven would be home soon and while he loves watching me work out to Carmen Electra’s workout videos (she oddly enough didn’t have a pregnancy one available), I knew I’d only be laughed at and mocked with some of these. Hell, I’d mock me, some of the “moves” were ridiculous. So, I popped in the dvd and tried my hardest not to laugh.

Warm Up? The only warm up I want is a massage beforehand (and after), but I knew I was being too demanding so I skipped that section. Straight into cardio. I’ll admit, I was a little scared. I’ve barely gotten out since I’ve been sick and I remember how much dizzying cardio I used to do pre-pregnancy when working out. This was…not cardio. My heart might have actually stopped during a few moments from the incredibly slow movements that reminded me more of rocking a baby to sleep. But hey, this is cool. I can barely move and still call it cardio? Oh freakin sweet heavens. I’m in love. Because now I can eat my brownies and potato skins while I sit and move my legs to cardio beats.

I wonder if I can convince my body to still not blow up like a giant puff marshmallow because the video SAID I was doing Cardio. So, it should count, right?

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