We were at the library the other day…

My husband got out of the vehicle to run in our books that were due while L and I sat and waited. As he left, he says, “Don’t let anyone steal you, especially that dude over there.” “Mmkay,” I said, not even glancing to where he was looking, knowing that mostly my husband can be full of crapola.

I shifted in my seat, letting my butt slide down and tilting my head back. It had been one of the first (of the few) “good days” since I’d gotten all pregnant and such. I began to scan the parking lot, from where we were parked to the door which Steven just entered. And there he was. A guy my age that I didn’t know from Adam. He’d been watching me, and as soon as he saw my eyes pass his way, his posture changed, jerking upright from resting on his elbows. A huge grin erupted across his face, and he waved a very excited wave. In 2.3 seconds, I went through every person I’d ever met in my life (that I could recall), and concluded that I did not know this boy.

But he knew me.

I checked the visor for some sunglasses as I came to the conclusion that he must be my first ever fan. I HAD to have sunglasses if I was going to be a big deal, but no dice. Sigh.

Shortly after, Steven arrived back at the SUV door. “We should probably go,” I said. “This parking lot is no longer secure, I just spotted a fan. It’ll be seconds before everyone realizes who I am and the paparazzi arrives.” Steven smirked, ” I don’t doubt he’s a fan, but I doubt he reads your blog.”

“I’m pretty much a big deal,” I said, waving my hand through the air.

We rounded the parking lot and made our way towards the exit – where the guy happened to be standing by his (or someone’s ) car. He twisted his body around, tracking our vehicle with his eyes. “He probably just wants my autograph,” I said.

Steven laughed, “Yeh, in Cool Whip.”

“Shut up.”

Welcome back!

**NOTE:  There have been no changes since my other posts regarding being put on official bedrest.  I’m referring to it as “modified bedrest” for now since my body is pretty much demanding it (alternative is passing out and heavy vomiting, which sometimes comes anyhow).

1.  A dart board.  On the wall in my bedroom.  Except, I have really bad aim and this could be a really huge problem.  That, and I might develop some anger issues…this could be really bad, actually.

2.  A TV in my room (only while I’m sick).

3.   Dish Network or some other service for said TV.  Otherwise, it could be rather boring.

4.  Small craft kits.  As in, easy adult crafts (not by Rose Art) that can be finished in a few days and can be done in bed – something that is relatively easy to clean up, too.

5.  A masseuse.  Not that I wouldn’t love one of these on call all the time anyhow, but DUDE – who knew laying in bed for weeks straight almost could kill your muscles, giving you the worst body aches.  Wait, I did know that.

6.  A nanny.    I’m feeling like the worst mother in the world EVER right now.  Maybe she could do some light housekeeping too?

7.  Mary Poppins.  Yes, someone find her for me please.  Maybe she has some magical dose of something for me?  (Hopefully it’s legal.)  Plus, maybe she can spin me and L into magical worlds without us having to leave my bed?

8.  Something majorly cool for L…

9.  An extra bed in L’s room.  Her floor is really hard.  (Hey, maybe I can bribe someone to do this tomorrow….heh)

10.  Some awesome mixed cds of blissfully peaceful and relaxing music with happy notes so I can trick my brain into feeling relaxed and happy.

Mom: (brings in a bag full of lancets, alcohol wipes, glucose reader, and other fun things)  Are you going to let me prick your finger?

Me:  Uh…not so much.  I got it, thanks.   (Pricks finger.  Puts test strip in the monitor and dabs blood on per instructions.  Nothing. )

Mom:  Uh…I think the monitor is off.  (Looks up what to do next in the instructions)

Me:  Wait.  Does this mean I have to re-prick my finger again?

Mom:  Yeh!  Let’s.

Me: (slightly caught off guard by her enthusiasm)  My my, aren’t you all sadistic and ready to stab something in me today?

Mom:  (Giggles)  So, can I do it?

Me:  No.  Look, my finger is still bleeding, we’ll do it this way.

Mom:  (Grabs my finger and squeezes tightly, making more blood bubble up)

Me: Oy.  You think that’s necessary?  I really need un-bruised fingers.

Mom:  It worked.  157.  Wow, 175 is really high.

Me:  You just said 157.  Which is it?

Mom:  175.

Me:  Doesn’t that thing keep track of so many past tests?  How do we figure it out?

Mom:  We should just test again.  Can I prick your finger this time?

My mother and her obsession with finger pricking lancets, and my husband and his obsession with giving IVs should partner-up with someone who specializes in LOBOTOMIES, so they might actually get a patient or two.

I’m hiding all of the sharp objects in our house, who knows who’ll want to stab something in me next?

 I didn’t leave, I swear.

I’m still around…just really sick.  My body is still in combat mode – not sure it wants to accept this little kidling as something it wants to nurture…or, eh not.  And the kid?  Well, it’s kicking my arse, so I’m thinking it can hold it’s own.

This pregnancy is much like the last (in regards to the sick part) except worse.  Blood sugar has dropped low enough to affect my memory and I generally lay in bed (or L’s playroom floor or on the LR couch).  To say the days go by SLOWLY would be an understatement.  Emotions are high and I’m experiencing a lot – bored, scared, upset, lonely, sad…

Don’t get me wrong…I’m happy about the pregnancy part.  Ecstatic.  I’m sad, though, that my interaction with my family has declined exponentially.  L and my playtime together now consists of me laying in her floor while she plays around me.  She’s not acting out yet, but I know she feels it – I just hope that on some level she understands that it’s because mommy doesn’t feel well.  Nothing to do with her.  I’m frustrated at the things I can’t find the energy to do, as in literally (meaning I’ll pass out if stand or sit too long, faster if I’m exerting myself).  And, I’m scared because I’m fully aware of the complications that can arise should my sugar drop low enough – and what that would mean if it were to happen while I were walking…to close to a piece of furniture…or in the shower….or carrying my child.

I’ve been doing…or attempting… the 6-8 small meals a day.  Lots of protein.  Lemons.  Peppermint.  Hard candy.  Ginger.  Sea Bands.  Reflexology.  Acupressure.  Avoiding beef and pork.  Fruits.  Sour candy.  Teas.  Nux vomica.  Dude, I’ve tried so much and more, but it’s not helping.  And, I swear, if someone else tells me to just eat a saltine cracker and drink some sprite, I’ll clock them in the face.  And noooo, forcing myself to eat something that makes me want to vomit just looking at or thinking about won’t help.  It’s like intuition or something.  Some stuff, I just know.  And, if I just worked an hour to get something down and it’s sticking, no way am I going to risk it on something I know will ruin that.  Not that I won’t eat…just not that.

I’ve had some really scary moments and I feel like crap, but I know it’ll get better.  In about a month.  Give or take.  Then, my sugar levels will level out a bit and at least become more predictable and less jumpy.  Until then, I’m looking forward to my first official prenatal exam.  I’m looking forward to the blood draws which might give me a bigger clue.  I’m looking forward to the finger pricker (glucose tester) that I’ll get tomorrow, as well – not because I’m a masochist, but because I want to map this out, see if there are more clues to be uncovered that could help me.

So, there it is …in a nutshell.  I’m still around but mostly, I feel like vomiting or sleeping – neither of which are conducive to blogging.  I have a bunch of blog posts all dreamed up, but wanted to let you know why the huge drop off.

I’ll be back.

I could feel the cool wetness in my ear, as a slight buzzing filled the space.  My head hurt, as well as my back – and everything else for that matter.  My eyes fluttered open as I tried to push past the confusion that numbed my brain.  I swept my hand past my ear, trying to wipe away the wetness but instead brushed up against Glory’s little nose, sending her bounding across the yard…with her leash.

The sun’s harsh rays blinded me, leaving me stumbling to my knees and then to my feet.

Oomph.  Too fast.

I tried again, but this time much slower.

………………………………..

This is where I’m ending this series…at least for now.  While there are several more instances of blacking out, lots of throwing up, and hospital visits with IVs because my sugar dropped way too low, It gets less and less interesting.  I may add more later, or I may just start writing about this pregnancy which is much of the same (so far).

The ending, however, of the pregnancy this series was originally about was a good one.  I think the birth story is somewhere in here, but I’ll probably red0 that too.  But, if you get antsy while waiting, you can always search it on my site. 

Tonight, my midget feet and I came home and found this glorious package from my bloggy swap partner: Busydad.

I LOVE it.

Thanks so much! It’s PERFECT!

Like, the coolest shirt EVER.

And, candy. Mmm. It’s some of my ffffaaaavvvvooooorrrrriiiitttteeee. And, I don’t even have to share!

(And a hilarious card, too which totally made my day…along with the shirt and candy, of course.)

I love it so much, thanks Jim!

No, doofus. I’m not bloated. I’m pregnant. I might be a little bloated too…

Ohhhh the pain! Just kidding. I had to hold my back, it’s like the ultimate proof of me being pregnant or something, right? Like a universal symbol?

I’m approximately 7 weeks pregnant…and, that’s on the “40 week”/10 month scale. You know, where you count from your last period and such? And, 7 weeks sounds way further along…like I’m closer to being finished (plus, it’s what the doctors around here use), so I’m sticking with that.

And…I’m starting off at 85 lbs (nekkid) on our HOME scale. And, that’s what I weighed before I got sick, so while I haven’t gained anything, I’m very happy to report I’ve not lost either!! Woot!

So, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the important stuff. You see the outfit? It’s new. Santa brought it to me (one of several) for my “transition wear.” Santa and I went to Rue 21, because they have the longer styled tops that are good and stretchy (and, since I’m short, they can go to my knees…almost)…plus everything is always on clearance there. Santa let me pick out some $6 undershirts/tanktops/camisoles to go under any low neck tops, 3 pairs of $10 leggings, and a few looooong tops, all of which can be mixed and matched!

Hubs absolutely hates my new mini wardrobe and feels I just need some legwarmers to complete the look. *Sigh* Didn’t keep him from trying to grab my butt in the bookstore, but whatever.

The problem, however…is that I can’t wear my flipflops this winter. Well, actually…I can. When I was pregnant with L, I pretty much did wear open toed silver mini-heels (which was like flipflops) during the dead of winter. Hint: There was snow flitting, but not on the ground kind of weather.

This year, I thought I’d beat some of the rush and head out semi-early to grab the cutest flats (close-toed, as if that tiny arc is really going to keep them warm) at the cheapest price (what I can afford, sort of). So, we headed to the mall. I grabbed my $100-something pair of flip-flops that were all tricked out and matchy matchy. And, no. That wasn’t a typo or a missing decimal point. You read right. I didn’t pay for them, they were a review I did – my flip-flops generally cost about $3.50 a pair, or 2 for $5. Anyways, I headed out with my snazzy new flip-flops to the mall.

Less than 30 minutes later, I was in dire need of some new shoes.

5 minutes after that, I felt the skin peeling off and the thick bands rubbing into open flesh wounds.

Ehh…alright. So, maybe “flesh wounds” was a bit of an exaggeration…but, still.

I half-ran half-limped over to Payless Shoe Source and was excited to find some cute flats in a 5.5. My size (normally). They fit funny. I opted for a different style, but in size 6 hoping for a different fit. Nope. I limped over to the kids’ aisle, scanning the shelves for a smaller size of the same style. Bingo. Size 5. Too big. What the frick?! Size 4.5? Nope. Too freakin’ big. Are you serious?!!! Size 4? At least they’d stay on…if I didn’t mind folding my toes over and taping them up. GAWWWW.

Whatever.

I started to feel the sugar low creep in, so I gathered the crew and we headed for the doors closest to the parking lot we parked in. I needed some real food. And, then I remembered it: Old Navy. Home of cheap shoes. Surely they would be my saving grace.

I begged asked Steven if he’d consider carrying me, but he laughed at me graciously declined. So, I asked him to at least get the vehicle and bring it up to the door before I became a cripple. I had forgotten to switch purses and the teal/pink one I had wasn’t really going with my outfit so I let him carry it for me. You know, so I’d look cool. Little does he know, I walked behind him, laughing and pointing at the boy in front of me carrying that teal/pink purse. I mean, gaww…what kind of a man carries a purse that doesn’t match his outfit? Duh. Sucker.

(Oh shit. I love you, hon. I didn’t mean any of that. I thought it was hot. Really.)

We enter Old Navy. I consider taking my shoes off to run to the shoe section, but then reconsider as nasty foot fungus and weird fungal and viral diseases enter my head. I did, after all, have open wounds now.

Ugly. More ugly. Open toed. Ooooh…here we go. Hmmm….size….8? 9? 12?

Stupid midget feet and all of you dumb stores who assume all of the girls who wear the stacks of those XS you stock can wear size 9s.

Well. Me and my feet are going to go soak into some Miracle Grow, thankyouverymuch. And, guess what. I’m just bought a new pair of flip flops, and I’m even going to wear them this winter. Stick that in your juice box and suck it. I may even buy some leg-warmers, too. So. There.

I need shoes.  Anyone want to help me find some inexpensive but really cute flats?  (Inexpensive means less than $20).  I need close toed brown and black-ish…that’s 2 pair.  I went shopping a while back to get some “transition” wear…you know, not maternity sizes – but bigger than what I was wearing kind of things (that will stretch).  Yep, those sorts.  You help me find the shoes and then I’ll show you what I got, deal?

Oh, and I have some really important news for you.  I had a craving.  *Gasp*  (Yes, that was the news.)  Cravings at this point excite me – it means I actually WANT to eat (instead of doing it because I just must.  It means I’m ENJOYING food again).  The sad news is I haven’t touched a brownie bite (by Tollhouse, my weakness) since I got pregnant.  We needed a break anyhow, according to the extra jiggle in my thighs (why can’t it collect in my boobs instead of my butt?).  Anyhow, are you ready for my craving?

Wait for it….

Take out (because I may have to eat it laying down) from Cracker Barrel:

Chicken and dumplings, baby carrots, and a roll.

I’m thinking I may need a job to afford these cravings.  Too bad, so sad.  Hopefully I can trick myself into THINKING I’m eating Cracker Barrel as I shovel Campbell’s chicken noodle soup (which tastes nothing alike) into my gullet.

Hey, do any of you know how to hypnotize?

—————————-

And, little miss has a new word.  Pronounced as JOOSH.  Translation: “Juice.  NOW MOTHER! “

There are about 80 bajillion ways that morning sickness can affect (or not affect) a pregnant woman (or her husband). Forgive me for the number, I’m just guessing on that figure. She can be sick all day, she can not feel it all, she can be sick but still on her way…or…a whole bunch of other things.

Me, I’m much too complicated APPARENTLY for plain ol’ conventional morning sickness. (My body hates me.)

So, to clarify…

I have hypoglycemia. It’s where your blood sugar can get really low, and for the most part it just makes you miserable, but if you let it get too bad, you can encounter some huge consequences. Like, death and coma being the biggest ones. It took me about 19 years to figure the whole hypoglycemia thing out. It took a while to put a name on it, as it’s hard to test for it (within the perfect time frame), and then it took a while for me to figure out HOW and WHEN and how much to eat. And, more importantly…how often. But, I did. And, just like that my hypoglycemia was under control – only rearing it’s ugly head if I forgot to eat or didn’t have a chance…or skipped lunch for a brownie.

But, then…all of that goes down the drain when I get pregnant. My body morphs, and I no longer know what’s going on. I get the same hypoglycemia SYMPTOMS, but BIGGER…more magnified. Maybe it’s a chemical change, maybe it’s because the pinto bean we already have named that’s living inside of me is eating all of my food…who knows. Maybe it’s all of that and more.

My first pregnancy was significantly harder…not because the symptoms were different…but, because I had NO CLUE what was going on. I just thought I was probably going to die or something. Ish. I cramped frequently, I couldn’t walk or sit up, NOTHING stayed down, I passed out like it was a new thing and I felt all around like crap. My doctor suggested smaller meals, but of course…I knew that. But, how you go smaller than orange gatorade, I’ll never know. I couldn’t keep ANYTHING down. I refused to believe that it was hypoglycemia, something I’ve battled my entire life, because it didn’t feel the SAME.

Nobody told me that pregnancy can MAGNIFY your current condition – regardless of how “in control” you (thought) you were.

Until this pregnancy…and it all makes sense.

So, I have all of the same symptoms as last pregnancy, and while I don’t FEEL much better at least I KNOW what’s going on. And, it’s not me dying.

I have an incredibly new modified diet: LOTS of fruit, NO beef or pork (at least until I’m no longer throwing up, last time the Morning Sickness went away after the 1st Trimester), eat every 2 hours…something, lots of water, and as much protein as I can stomach. Oh yeh, and I have to eat lying down…especially the “bigger” more filling meals of my day. Sitting and Standing are iffy. Sometimes I can, sometimes it’s out of the question. It just depends on how my body is processing the food. I carry around an “oh shit” bowl and have food stashed in every room pretty much. L eats most of it. After some meals, I feel great – if only for 30 minutes. And, then some days…I can’t get my sugar up at all and feel like crap all. day. long. (Like yesterday.) Unfortunately, getting your sugar levels back up once they’ve bottomed out (which mine are more prone to do at this point, as opposed to when I’m not pregnant), can be hard. It SEEMS like you could just pop in a candy bar and go, but I can’t. Well…I could…but in 10 minutes, I’d be laying on the floor and totally out of it. Pure sugar will make your levels rise like crazy and bottom out. So, instead, I have to eat complex carbs and protein…and, lots of it.

And, while death and coma are the BIG “symptoms” for hypoglycemia, those are both pretty unlikely. For me, at least. Unless you put me on a boat with no food. I think I’d have to not eat for at least a couple of days…or a week or something.

What IS happening?

I’m dizzy.

My brain spends half of it’s time in a fuzzy state – especially when my sugar is low. Imagine how you feel right after waking up (being awoken…that confused state).

I have to be careful how I exert the little energy I have. Would I rather fold laundry or would I rather get up and go pee and grab a snack? Because the oatmeal and fruit I just ate will last me for a bit and the baby will get the rest. It’s about choosing. Darn, sucks to not be able to do laundry.

Showering has become a thing I only do when hubs is home. I know my limits from last time and I’ve fallen way too many times.

I sleep alot. Something about being “sick” or with lower than normal sugar levels makes you REALLY tired. Or, maybe it’s the pregnancy. Or both.

The bowl.

Sudden onset of dizziness, clammy hands, and blacking out. I don’t get the “warning” time like pre-pregnancy. It hits and fast. I don’t move around alot, but when I do, I’m generally ready to sit down in a split second. I’m not above sitting down in the middle of the grocery aisle or parking lot. I can either do it by my own free will or let nature and gravity do it for me…which hurts a lot more and really makes my OB not too happy.

And, from last time – I’ve learned that it is NOT GOOD to “help” yourself throw up. You know how you feel so much better afterwards when you are sick because you drank too much the night before? Well, not so much in this case. Once I start throwing up, I keep on. And, then…it’s an uphill battle to get your stomach to accept more food, which causes all sorts of issues.

BUUUUTTT….as sucky as I feel, I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress from LAST TIME. I know what’s going and why, although I’m still struggling to fix it. Heck, maybe after a few more pregnancies I just might have this all figured out. Heh. Oy. Anyways, if you have been pregnant AND hypoglycemic (that’s been magnified) all at once, and you figured out to kick it’s arse, let me know. I’m doing the special diet thing and all that jazz, but there has to be something more. So, if you know…please share the info.

And, if you just found me through a google search, I’m really really sorry you feel like poo. It should get better really soon, and if you have to – you can always go to the doctor and get a special IV where they’ll raise your sugar levels and bypass your stomach (because it goes straight into your blood)…that always made me feel much better. Just sayin’. And, don’t make yourself throw up, and just keep remembering that in the end, it’ll be worth it all and more. That, I can promise you.

PS – I’m slightly behind on mailing out my pkg to my bloggy swap partner. I’m planning to bribe my husband to take it tomorrow. I’m going to blame being sick and a 4 county wide power outage (which was us and everyone else) for my lateness…but, it was mostly because I waited til the last dang minute. Sorry. I promise I’ll mail it soon. Tomorrow, hopefully.

Guess what?!

The Sept 15 deadline for the Bloggy Swap just passed. Oy. Did you send your stuff off yet? No? No worries. Try to send off this week or by Monday, though.

Here are the players:

Mamawise
Dadspeed
Hockeyman
BossSanders
Jogging In Circles
Shamelessly Sassy
ZoeyJane
Sarah
Miss
BusyDad
A Whole Lot Of Nothing
Immoral Matriarch

You know who your partners are, and you should have their addresses, so you should be set, right? Please email me when you:

1. Send off your package. I’ll mark it beside your name.
2. Receive your package. I’ll mark it beside your name.

And, if you think you’ll be late or your house just fell down or spontaneously combusted so you’re bailing on us, those are things I’d like to know too (please don’t bail. I might cry. ok?)

Once ya get your package, feel free to add pictures and link back here (it’ll notify me, and I can link you back up)

Now….GO!!

UPDATES HERE:

*Email or comment with the link once/if you post pics of what you receive on your own blog and I’ll link you here.

Sarah: Sent and received

Immoral Matriarch: Sent

Dadspeed: Sent

A Whole Lot Of Nothing: Sent and received

Hockeyman: Sent

Jogging In Circles: Sent and received

Busydad: Sent

BossSanders: Sent and received *click the link to see what I got! (send me your links, and I’ll put em up too!)

Mamawise: Working on it

Shamelessly Sassy: Sent and Received.

Miss: Working on it
ZoeyJane: Working on it and Received

*Okay dokey, I’ve talked to everyone and I DO know that those who haven’t sent yet are working on it, so yeh. PLEASE tell me once you get yours.