(in case you forgot. ALTHOUGH, feel free to imagine your hottest celebrity crush here if that helps any. **Photo by Thorne (the photographer))

I’ve been thinking really really hard on how I might win your vote for the Hot Blogger Calendar (thanks, Angie!)? Do I make promises to do things that I never intend to really do? Do I beg? Do I cry? Do I bribe? Do I threaten and blackmail? Do I give you a pity story on why you should vote for me? Oh, so many choices…

But, in the end, I think I’m going to rise above it all and just say:

I am so thankful for the chance to be nominated and listed on the Hot Blogger Calendar as a nominee. It is such an honor. If you find it fitting to vote for me, I hope you will. Here’s the link to vote (for the girls):

http://hotbloggercalendar.com/vote-hottest-female/

I’m listed as Boss Sanders and would appreciate your vote.

Ahh…screw it. Please please please vote for me? Please? Heh. *Regains what’s left of her composure*

PS – If I win, I get to go to NYC and get all prettified and get my photo put in a calendar. And, swag bags. And…I have no clue what else. But, wouldn’t it be fun? And, don’t worry…If you vote for me and I win, you won’t all be getting calendars this year for Christmas. Unless you want them, of course. Then, I’ll take some behind the scenes photos too (by sneaking over to the boys photo shoot) and add those to your package.

PSS – I totally love you guys. And gals. And…everybody else.

*UPDATE: Or you can just vote here (look for Boss Sanders), because I’m totally getting my arsed kicked.

Welcome back!

Okay, the emails have been sent out as a reminder about the Bloggy Swap 10/100 list and the fact that the date is approaching (Sept 15).

Below is the MASTER LIST for the 10/100 list linkage. If you have made your list, and you aren’t linked up, let me know. If you don’t have a list up, you’re in big trouble and I might have to stalk you with a yard stick.

Mamawise
Dadspeed
Hockeyman
BossSanders
Jogging In Circles
Shamelessly Sassy
ZoeyJane
Sarah
Miss
BusyDad
A Whole Lot Of Nothing
Immoral Matriarch

Who did I miss? Send me your link.

I’ve always believed that someone who steals is someone who needs something more than I do.  But, really, for the most part – I think your a spineless piece of work.  A mother of three who steals for food or something that will help her family live is one thing – but, someone who steals items just because?  Not cool.  Someone who continuously steals from me?  Double not cool.

I know you are hidden somewhere in the depths of my post office – and I know you were overlooked when I made my first report.  But, if you think that after over $400 in missing packages and my reputation being hit with negative comments is going to just be let go, you’ve got another thing coming.  I may look like nothing more than a demure little housewife on paper, but you really have no idea.  I’m not looking for revenge, but I am looking for justice – and my packages.  I want them back.

You may think you are hidden, but you should start watching your back.  The tipping point was when you decided to start picking up my Netflix movies and pocketing them – making my service be put on hold.  Not cool, yo.  I know you are lurking somewhere behind the boxes in that safe little building, and you just made it my personal mission to sniff you out.  And oh, I will.

Thing is, if you needed movies and cookie jars and baby items so badly, you could’ve come to me.  You could’ve told me you needed help like any honest person and I would’ve busted my arse for you, regardless if I knew you.  I would’ve scoured my contacts and done what I could have you.  But, then you stole from me.  Over and over again.  I finally began putting delivery confirmation numbers on all of my outgoing mail and I warned those sending me mail to do the same.  You left those packages alone but you went after my packages I was supposed to be receiving – and now my dvds?

You may be able to hide yourself from the authorities.  You may get warning and know they are coming.  But, you won’t know when I start sending packages, waiting for you to take the bait.  Or, when I start befriending every person that works at the post office just to hear the gossip about the person who is always getting new things, or brags about how they’re ripping the system off.  I’m stepping back to let the law do their thing, but trust me.  If they don’t find you, I will.

I hope prison suits you.  Prison with no mail packages, that is.

Sincerely,

Me

PS – You can keep the cookie jar.

I hope you truly know how much I adore you and that I’m always here for you. Sometimes, though, you may need to reach out to me if you need me – sometimes, stuff slips my radar – but it’s never because I don’t care. I want you to know that you are an incredible individual – so warm, so compassionate, so loving. And, you rock. You really really do.

* I hope for a life filled with sunshine and rainbows for you, but I know you will see your fair share of rain. I just hope you remember that it’s this rain – sometimes even moreso than the sunshine – that will help shape you into the best (or worst) person you can be. But, who you choose to be will be up to you. It really is a choice. So, look at the hurdles and the storms as nothing more than lessons and chances to experience the worst so that you may truly know the good.

* Love like there is no tomorrow and with no regrets, but please know that sometimes it won’t be returned. And, that’s okay. It says far more about that person and where they are in their life than it does about you.

* And, just for the record: Loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you want to “be” with that person.

* Oh yeh. You know the saying that “if you love someone/thing let them/it go?” Well, it’s true. Mostly. When you love someone, REALLY unselfishly love someone, you want what is best for them…even if it’s not being with you. The more you see this and really get it, the easier it will be to accept it. I know it’s really hard to feel so dang out of control (it’s hard for me too), but sometimes you can close a door on yourself (that would’ve been open) by pushing someone further than they are ready to go at that point in time.

* Always strive to be better than what you were yesterday. Goals are important, and determination can get you anywhere. Some people will look at you and tell you aren’t good enough. Don’t listen to them. You are as good as you feel you are. As long as you are who you want to be IN THIS MOMENT. I don’t care what they say, college is grand but it’s simply more education. It’s not a guarantee to make $400,000 a year in your chosen profession – or even a guarantee for a job. I know far too many people who have a degree and don’t use them – or, at least not for what they intended to and making as much as they always thought they would. Don’t get me wrong, a college degree can be wonderful – some companies won’t look at you without them, you can learn a lot during the course of your education, and it can take you places you never imagined. But, if you don’t have a sense of humor, determination, kindness, compassion, etc to pair with it, that degree will be nothing but another piece of paper. Sometimes, experience can take you just as far as a piece of paper, depending on where you want to go. Regardless, don’t you EVER let someone give you an ultimatum about getting a degree. It could be a useful tool to help you get to wherever you want to go (you have to decide where you want to go first), but never let someone make that decision for you. You go because you want to go. This is YOUR decision, and you are allowed to take it slow and change your mind for the rest of your life. You can do it now, or you can wait until later.

* I know it feels great to feel loved, but spend some time alone too. Figure out what it is you want to do. Who do YOU want to be. Then, make it happen. Set up a plan, and go for it…one step at a time. It’s totally okay if your “plans” change – because your perspective will too.

* Never say never. I never thought I’d be cloth diapering my kid or still in this state when I grew up, but look at me now. The universe likes to kick our ass sometimes. Our priorities change and so do our minds and thoughts. Embrace it. Learn from it.

* If you do something in anger, you will regret it. Maybe not now, but you will. You don’t have to want to be everyone’s friend, but reacting in anger will not only hurt them, but will likely hurt you too.

* Sometimes it feels like everything is moving forward – except you. It seems like the people you were once so close with are “moving on” and that you are no longer a part of that. Just like life, friendships have their seasons. Some people come into are lives for a short while, only to stay for awhile – and it’s only an incredible few that stay in our lives forever. Cherish them. Cherish them all. Choose not to look at the people in your life who have “moved on” with a grudge, but be thankful that they were in your life for the time that they were. And, get ready to welcome the new people that enter as well.

* Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. I know you’ve heard this one since Kindergarten, but still. And, to take it further – don’t judge one person by another’s actions. Just because one person (or a hundred) let you down in some way, it doesn’t mean the next one will do the same. Give each person a fair chance, really get to know them before you make any judgement calls or choose not to get to know them. If you knock people out of your life based on how they talk, their abilities, what they look like, their interests, who they date, what they believe, or simply because you are too scared to be left or hurt again – you are going to knock some really cool people out of your life before you even get the chance to know how great they could’ve been in any capacity in your life. And, that…would be your loss, as well as theirs.

I know these things only because I learned the hard way. And, my stubborn self didn’t even get it the first (or second) time, most times. These lessons were beat into me by the swift kicks from the universe in my arse. Learn from them, and use them as reminders.

And, don’t forget, I’m here and full of unsolicited advice. Because I love you.

Love ya,

Me

I found out rather quickly that there was no way one of the stepstools (stepladders) we already owned would work. Although they place her high enough, Lorelei still can’t reach the faucet – and, since we won’t be installing a child-sized sink (with running water) – she may just have to use a wash cloth to get the whole “washing of hands” thing down. Unless of course, someone can find me a mini sink that uses a pump and jug of water to continuously pump water in and out of a kid-sized sink. That I could refill and empty. Or…um if you want to make one for her…like um if you are her handy dandy Grandpa or Granny or something. *cough cough* (Hint hint) Ha ha. (Wondering if the pump would be similar to what you use for a water pond and then just use a large covered bucket with a hole in it? )

Anyhow, after much research and looking around, I’ve found a good “curriculum” for us to go by – Montessori Infant/Toddler style. Keep in mind, this isn’t really set-in-stone, basically just a list of things we will try to do during our days/weeks. (We’ll try it for the rest of this month and make changes as needed.)

Care Of Self
- Assisting with diapering – The kid already does this by handing and unfolding the diapers for us. Once, she even put the diaper creme on herself. With her clothes on. Made for some greasy spots (at least she knew WHERE it went). We’ll also begin trying the diapering thing standing up (at least some of the time).
-Calming self to sleep – She already does this, too.
-Washing and drying hands
-Taking Clothes Off – You know, I’ve heard horror stories about this. Where the kid is dressed and ready to go, and then you come back and they are stark nekkid. Oh crap. If she learns to do this, then that means she can take her shorts off and the diaper and leave poo on the walls? We might actually skip this one for a bit. Or, only learn to take shirts off.
-Using a fork and spoon at meals – She roughly has the idea of this. Just a matter of A) not picking it off the fork to eat it and B) poking the fork just right so it catches food.
-Using cup to drink – We’ll still use sippy cup for non-meal time just so I don’t lose my sanity. She knows how (in theory) to use a cup but doing it ALL BY HERSELF usually ends in her getting a little too excited about it and pouring too much too fast and not in her mouth. She’ll be drinking water with meals because of this.

Care Of The Environment
-Clearing their space at the table after meals
-Adults model using a towel to wipe up wet spills
-Adults model using care when handling work

Language
-Please, Excuse Me, Thank You, Mine
-Greeting Others (Hi, Bye)
-Recognition of Name (spoken)
-Practice Saying Own Name
-Adults use action words to describe routines
-One piece puzzle
-Two Piece puzzle
-Basket with different textures and shapes from outside
-Shelf with books
-Basket with farm animals *** (need to get these)
-5 min of Foreign Language DVD and practice (?)

Songs and Finger Play
(a variety of songs like Row Your Boat, Five Little Monkeys, Baa baa black sheep, etc.)

Books
-Together, we’ll read books and have story-time

Practical Life
-Dropping Balls into Ball Popper
-Dropping Clothes Pins in a jar
-Insert shapes into corresponding openings
-Transfer objects (ice with spoon, etc)

Sensorial
-Maracas
-Drums
-Tambourine ***(need to make this)
-Color Chain Links *** (need to make this)

Manipulative
-Pull Toy *provide cause and effect*
- Toys with buttons and music/sound

Pre-Math
- One ball in a basket
-1,2,3 Counting

Stationary Work
- Crafts

Large Motor: Indoor
-Up and down stairs
-Obstacle course made with chairs and pillows (or boxes)

Large Motor: Outdoor
-Pushing toys (play lawnmower or riding toys)
-Water Table
-Swing
-Watering Garden

See? Not that much different than what parents already do – it’s just my way of organizing things to make sure she’s getting well-rounded experiences. And, the “curriculum” will change almost every month to reflect what she’s learned to do and to add new skills in! I plan to either remove the mattress from her crib or make a nap mat (trouble will be finding one she finds appropriate) so she can lay down for naps when she gets tired. I kind of want a separate “mat” or small mattress, though because I really do not want to encourage night time middle of the nighters. So, mat it is.

I’ll post some photos later of things we do and make.

It just occurred to me, today, to check up on Lorelei’s “milestones” or “touchpoints” using one of my favorite books. I was actually supposed to refer back to the book at 15 months (she’s 16 months, now), so today I read the 15 months and the 18 months section. And, with the exception of being able to jump (18 months), she has mastered all of the touchpoints for both sections. I’m not proud at all (can you tell)? Heh.

For a while now, I’ve known that I wanted to homeschool Lorelei – with lots and lots of hands-on activities and field trips, of course. However, I thought I would have to wait until she was at least 3 or 4 years old. Until I had about the Montessori approach. Basically, once she’s older, I plan to use curriculum, hands-on learning, field trips, and the Montessori approach all combined. But, for now – that’d be getting a little ahead of ourselves. (And, no worries all of you naysayers. She can still play sports and have loads of peer interaction while homeschooling. Already looked into that. )

For infants and Toddlers, a Montessori school basically has caregivers (or is supposed to) that are there EVERY DAY. So, if your child becomes attached to one (and they will), they will be comforted knowing that their “teacher” will be there every day. When you walk into a Montessori school, you’ll see everything toddler-sized – from sinks to tables and chairs to EVERYTHING. And, the whole place is “kid-proofed,” where they can play wherever freely. Let me show you:

Well, I want to do this at home. Basically. Now. In a way, we kind of already do. But, the whole Montessori technique would be giving her more lead way. For example, in the Montessori settings, kids (even toddlers) have access to the sink. I’ve heard that I can use a 2 step stepstool for this (they have mini sinks in the Montessori schools), but I’m still not sure Lorelei would be tall enough. In fact, I know she wouldn’t be. She’s short. Like me. But, she can begin drinking from a cup and not a sippy cup. She knows HOW, she just needs practice. And why not now? Plus, we’ll start practicing all of those fun (and slightly annoying) songs that inspire learning – you know, 5 little monkeys, Old MacDonalds, Apples and Bananas, etc. – which will teach her counting, animal sounds, and word sounds (or help), as well as to predict what’s coming next and anticipate it. We’ll begin practicing pouring water from cup to cup, as well as macaroni. She will begin feeding herself using utensils (which she already knows how to do). Plus, more artwork of course.

As she grows, we’ll begin teaching her how to do household and outside work. For example, helping to rake leaves with a child sized rake. Washing mini dishes with a mini dish pan things “her size”. Helping in the kitchen with kidsafe tools. Sweeping and scrubbing (once again, with special kid broom and scrubbers). Okay, that kind of sounds a little cinderella-ish, but it’s really not. There are lots of puzzles and other things involved, too (at this age).

PS – the photo of Lorelei is with her new(ish) monkey backpack, which COINCIDENTALLY has a tail that can be snapped on or off and held by her parental units (us) when she doesn’t want to held and doesn’t want to hold our hands. Kind of like freedom, but without the fear of kidnappers or lost kids in Walmart. We haven’t really put it to it’s intended use. She REALLY wanted it at Walmart…and it WAS cute. Okay, so we folded like cards and are totally weak. Shut up.

In exactly 10 days, I’ll be 23 years old.  And, in a way that number makes me incredibly uncomfortable.  But, why?  It’s nowhere close to middle-age (not even half way), I have at least 17 good years for the child-bearing age range, and I’m still on the “lower end” of the 20s.  So, what gives?

Lurking in the back of my brain is a thought – a thought that shouldn’t even be there.  At 20, I chose to drop out of college – take a break – call it what you will.  I had just gotten married and my husband was about to be deployed and with the guidance of the school’s academic counselors, I chose to get out while the getting was good.  I had never gone through a deployment before, especially with me being the spouse (we had just gotten married), and I was terrified.  I wasn’t sure what sort of last minute details would have to be taken care of, or if I would need to go out of town – and I had no idea how this would play out in regards to my emotions.  To put it quite simply, I was afraid I would run my high grades into the dirt and lose my President’s List standing.

So, much to my parents’ and family’s chagrin, I canceled my classes and left with a decent GPA.  I figured it was the right choice, anyhow -  After all, I wanted to be a stay at home mom if we could afford it.  I didn’t want to waste more money on a degree that I would never use – not when that money could go towards other things.  Like car payments.  I left college with only 1.5-2 semesters to go, whether I chose Psychology or Education.  Even faster, if I booked my time carefully.  I reveled in the fact that I knew I could go back to college and still finish up with my peers, as if I’d never left (thanks to my high school college credits).

To this day, I feel like I made the right decision for me at that time.  At this point in my life, that little piece of paper means nothing to me.  As much as I love to teach, I really don’t want to be stuck in a classroom with kids whose parents I cannot choose (I absolutely hate when parents choose to be inactive in kids’ lives).  I don’t want to get every cold or flu that comes through the school.  And, to be honest – I feel like what I’d be getting paid wouldn’t be worth it for me.  Not as something I CHOSE.  Psychology – my love – well, I originally wanted to get my Doctorate.  I wanted to become a psychiatrist and open up my own clinic, and possibly even my own ward.  I wanted to help troubled young people.  I wanted to build a safe haven.  Then, I got married and had a beautiful daughter, and a career in psychology in a tiny town seems a little more dangerous.  Everyone knows where you live.  I would never forgive myself if I were the reason something happened to my family.

And yet, why does this still bug me?  I know that a degree for me would be just a piece of paper that I bought with my own money.  I know that these degrees no longer hold the importance as they once did – now, you need a Masters or Doctorate.  Regardless, thoughts creep into the back of my brain and I feel almost like I’m “behind” my peers.  I know that some of them are graduating (or just graduated) with that piece of paper and are on their ways to becoming something else.  In the back of my head, I feel like I have let those who know me down.  Because to them, a degree translated into success – and I forfeited mine.

Sometimes, I even think that a degree may make me feel safer at the end of the day.  I’ve lost the naivety that once told me that things would always be as they are.  It was replaced with the desire to be able to totally self-sufficient, and in the back of my head I know this.  I know that if I were to rejoin the “rat race,” I would need that little piece of paper to get me in the door just to prove that I was “worthy” of a job I really didn’t want, anyways.

I’ll be 23 soon, and while I may seem “behind” my peers, I’m not.  I just joined a different race.  My race, where the outcome is nothing but a world of possibilities.


Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty from Blog Action Day on Vimeo.

I will be 23 this month (August 29th), and while I can say I’m doing pretty good on my life track (especially compared to others my age), but I’m not doing good enough.  To my own standards.  It has less to do with money than it does with my own determination and persistence.

I’m changing that.  WE are changing that.

Our income may or may not change any time soon – and there isn’t a lot we can do about that.  Whining about it and planning the “WHEN/IF’s” is absolutely not getting us anywhere (except maybe pushing ourselves backwards).  So, we’re fixing it.  Here.  Now.

If you’ve been reading me for a while, you know that a while back we had some pretty big financial difficulties, but we came through that (thanks to some really awesome family and friends, by the way).  And, through it all we learned a lot of lessons:

I now know that I can plan a meal where each serving only costs $1-1.50 each.
I now know that with a bit of simple tweaking, Freecycle stuff can be really awesome.
I now know that you don’t have to pay for fun.  There are games, playing outside (geocaching, swimming, exploring, hiking, etc), crafting, borrowing movies, etc.
I now know that I will NOT die without cable or satellite TV.  In fact, we are CHOOSING (because everything is a choice) to leave it off and better allocate that money.
I now know that despite the happy smiles that people put on, almost EVERYONE in this country has some sort of money issues – all self inflicted in one way or another.
I now know that if you call companies BEFORE your bill is due, most of them are nice and will help you out.
I now know that Angel Food Ministries is wonderful, although the food isn’t as healthy as I like.  But, when you need it, you need it.  By the way, if you’ve never heard of this awesome program, you can get huge boxes of food for only $25!
I now know the power in planning meals – I managed to get us by on $50 of food for TWO WEEKS.  God is awesome.
I now know that money can really do damage on marriages and it takes a lot of work and the knowledge of this to keep it from hurting it.
I now know how awesome bartering is – and how wonderful it is to give away things you don’t need so that others may have.  I’ve now been on both sides of this.

I’m very thankful for the lessons I’ve learned.  I’ve learned how to be thrifty, and I know I can survive no matter what.  I have learned to garden, and will soon learn to can.  I have learned how to make my own things if I want them enough.  I have learned to put my faith in something much bigger than me…even when things seem like you won’t get through it.  Because you will.

And, we have come so very far.  But, there is more that I want to do in our lives.  I want to change our spending habits so that we can eat HEALTHY good food under $200/month.  Preferably under $150, but I’m giving myself some leadway until I learn this.  And, I don’t mean eating processed crap.  I mean healthy stuff.  Even…organic *gasp*.

I want to start saving money.  And, guess what.  Not only have we saved some money, but we are going to make it a monthly thing.

I want to get health insurance.  I have been determined…and guess what!  This month we are sending off the first check.  It took Steven trading in his vehicle for a motor scooter and the gas savings alone will pay for it!  We are thrilled.

I want to be able to do minor fix ups on our home.

I want to pay off our debts that we’ve accumulated.

So, now I’m exploring new ways of saving money.  We’ve REDONE our budget (AGAIN) and have it all listed out.  We have 2 lists – one with all of the things that MUST be paid (mortgage, bills, insurances, etc) and then the list with these 3 things: Food ($200), Necessities – razors, face wash, diapers, TP, paper towels, etc ($40), and gas ($160) for each month.  We have the money allocated for those 3 things cashed and we will put them in jars.  We will do our best to NOT spend all of this money.  We will also make a list of 3 goals for things we want to purchase once our savings have been built up.  3 Goals – from paying off a specific credit card to building a deck to buying a new whatever…And we will make a Jar for the top item on that list as well as a Entertainment jar.  Then, when we have EXTRA money in food, necessities, gas at the end of the month, we’ll divvy that cash out into the other jars (entertainment or goal).

Once a goal is reached, we’ll mark it off the list.  Only keeping 3 on at a time.  Make sense?

Not only will our goals be specific and on paper, we will have cash money in our hands – making us less willing to give it away.  And, of course, I am forever searching for healthy and VERY inexpensive meals and other ways to lighten the grips money has on us.

By the way…I’m needing to change to a cheaper toilet paper and paper towels.  We currently use Charmin and Bounty…what do you use and love (but is cheaper?)  Stop laughing at me, this is really important!  Tell me!

Don’t forget the giveaway I have going on at the other site: http://firstimpressionsbaby.blogspot.com/2008/08/giveaway-100.html

PS – please bare with me on the other giveaways I hosted here.  I swear I’ll pick someone, I’m just sending out a little at a time so I can keep on affording postage!  Ha!  But please check out the $100 giveaway – it’s real money, yo!