I’ve always believed that someone who steals is someone who needs something more than I do.  But, really, for the most part – I think your a spineless piece of work.  A mother of three who steals for food or something that will help her family live is one thing – but, someone who steals items just because?  Not cool.  Someone who continuously steals from me?  Double not cool.

I know you are hidden somewhere in the depths of my post office – and I know you were overlooked when I made my first report.  But, if you think that after over $400 in missing packages and my reputation being hit with negative comments is going to just be let go, you’ve got another thing coming.  I may look like nothing more than a demure little housewife on paper, but you really have no idea.  I’m not looking for revenge, but I am looking for justice – and my packages.  I want them back.

You may think you are hidden, but you should start watching your back.  The tipping point was when you decided to start picking up my Netflix movies and pocketing them – making my service be put on hold.  Not cool, yo.  I know you are lurking somewhere behind the boxes in that safe little building, and you just made it my personal mission to sniff you out.  And oh, I will.

Thing is, if you needed movies and cookie jars and baby items so badly, you could’ve come to me.  You could’ve told me you needed help like any honest person and I would’ve busted my arse for you, regardless if I knew you.  I would’ve scoured my contacts and done what I could have you.  But, then you stole from me.  Over and over again.  I finally began putting delivery confirmation numbers on all of my outgoing mail and I warned those sending me mail to do the same.  You left those packages alone but you went after my packages I was supposed to be receiving – and now my dvds?

You may be able to hide yourself from the authorities.  You may get warning and know they are coming.  But, you won’t know when I start sending packages, waiting for you to take the bait.  Or, when I start befriending every person that works at the post office just to hear the gossip about the person who is always getting new things, or brags about how they’re ripping the system off.  I’m stepping back to let the law do their thing, but trust me.  If they don’t find you, I will.

I hope prison suits you.  Prison with no mail packages, that is.

Sincerely,

Me

PS – You can keep the cookie jar.

Welcome back!