Boss Sanders - Jobs I’ve Had Vs. Jobs I Wanted To Have… (made up by the brilliant Huckdoll)

Jobs I’ve Had:

Babysitter: I’ve babysat all sorts of ~~monstrous~~ delightful children. I think I made around $5 an hour…not bad, I guess. But, if I were to do it again, I’d charge much much more. In fact, I don’t think I’d be affordable (unless you are my friend and your kids are disciplined).

Board of Education: This was actually a really nice job…except it was temporary. For a short time, I answered phones and did secretarial jobs, and if I do say so myself, I was darn good at it. I did my job and more. In fact, I was told they’d love to have me back…

Tutor: I liked this one too… I love teaching, and I might have been a teacher had I not have to put up with the parents…

Photography Studio : I did the ordering, some light editing, acting for the company’s Halloween Haunted Themepark, and then training to be a wedding planner. But, apparently it was my fault for my boss having bought some shoddy equipment and I got cussed out and called all sorts of wonderful names. A week later, I quit. Boss is one of those people that are great…just not necessarily as your boss.

Catering: I dressed all snazzy, had french-braided hair and decorated tablescapes and buffets for large parties and weddings…and then, I served the food, cleaned up, and helped load the vans. This was some of the most tiring work ever. Get to work around 2 pm and leave around 11pm after being on your feet all day in the most uncomfortable black shoes. And, at the end of the night, accidentally spill a huge cooler full of iced tea down your white shirt. Love it. At least the tie and pants were black.

Library: I don’t know exactly what my job title was, but when I went to Eastern KY to school, one of the tricky fine print parts of the SCHOLARSHIP was that I had to have a job on campus and get paid $3/hr. I have allergies and I slightly exaggerated, so I got out of having to clean with the harsh cleaners and some of the nastier outdoor jobs. And, somehow I managed to not get a food job. But, I did get the library. It was easy, but not at all creative …or anything else for that matter. I filed the little cards, put the metal strips in books, and worked in the micro fiche lab late at night. What did I learn from that experience? Where to rip if you want to sneak a book out. Classy.

“The Big Cow”: Restaurant actually. We nicknamed it “The Big Cow”…well, not we…it had that name before I got there. I switched towns, and this was another college job…at yet another college. I was the hostess. It was supposed to be temporary status, as the owner swore he’d move me to waitressing tables, since I did that AND take care of the salad bar anyways (when certain people couldn’t do their jobs). But, he never moved me…despite my persistent asking. This is also where I met my husband…and the other cute boys. Haha (Love you dear.) I walked out of this job. No, actually, I called in and said “Hi, yeh. I don’t think I’m gonna come in tomorrow (it was night).” He asked me if I thought I owed him an explanation or at least 2 weeks. I paused for a second in thought and replied: “Um, no. I really don’t!” By the way, dude. I totally heard you making comments to the “guys” in the back about me…

And then…jobs I wanted…or thought I did…

A Teacher: I had this schoolroom barbie as a kid. Funny thing is, I had a whole tote of barbies, but could only stand playing with them for short periods of time. Anyways, I thought it’d be sooo cool to be a teacher. I grew up in a small private Catholic schools, and most of the kids there were very behaved. I liked most of my teachers and wanted to grow up to be just like them. Only skinnier. And, then, I went to a different private school (and a public one after that) and figured out really quick that a teacher is not what I wanted to be after all. Not unless I get to pick the students. That - and - I hate vomit. Eww.

A Veterinarian: I love animals, but I have this thing called allergies. In fact, I used to get shots for said allergies. Why would I want to be a vet, then - you ask? Because I wanted to save animals. Problem number 2 is that I hate cutting things open, stitching up skin and organs, poking things in rears, dealing with fecal or vomit matter, and giving shots. What exactly did I plan to do? Stand there and WILL an animal back to life? It never worked for the squirrels our cat caught, why would it then?

A rich housewife (and mom) in a huge house with 2 vacation properties: I think this one is pretty self explanatory. Oh, and did I mention that I want maids? Yeh, I wanted to be a housewife in the effect that I would be home…err…shopping. But, not so much cleaning. Allergies, remember? Or, that’s what I’m going with.

Psychologist: This was actually my major in college. And then, I met my husband. I wanted to get my PhD and actually become a psychiatrist, so I could prescribe meds. I was going to work for several years and then build my own office and clinic. The problem with this whole plan, despite how much I LOVE psychology is that…it is very likely that I might meet some scaries…and for some reason or another they may decide that they should be homicidal, and the target should be me. And, once I was engaged, I no longer wanted to have a job that could cause my family to be a target.

Wedding/Event Planner: I love to throw parties. Especially if I can spend someone else’s money to do it. I love the planning and the decorating. I LOVE it. (So, um…if you need me, just call me). I am even a certified wedding planner. Yea! Go me! Turns out, people in Western KY are a bunch of cheapskates. I kept getting a bunch of phone calls wanting my services…fo’ free.

Photographer: Actually, I want to do this as a hobby. I already do, actually. I need to read my camera’s manual though. *sigh*

Personal Shopper: Guys, I’m so up for hire, here. And, I will travel. Just call me. lol

Exotic Dancer: I’ve always wanted to learn how to oh I’m so kidding mother. Don’t have a heart-attack. And, put down the phone…there’s no need to call Fr. Bruce.

So, what did I do? I decided to become a mom! Ha. I get to craft for my family and make things (it’d be cool if I could sell some things too), and when Lorelei is older, I’ll homeschool. So, I get to do the teacher thing, the psych thing, and event planner (lots of parties). It’s like a win-win situation. It would only be cooler if I got paid! Haha.