I Am….

A wife.

A mother.

A daughter.

A servant.

A friend.

An award winning poet. Okay, okay…I only won one little award.

A writer…short stories and articles for several different publications.

A researcher.

A boutique owner.

A not-for-profit business owner.

An advice-giver.

A group leader.

A maker of things.

A past Mary Kay Lady.

Catholic.

A chocoholic – or, a brownie bites – aholic

Unfiltered and brutally honest.

Kind. Or, I try to be.

Crafty – a creator of things.

Somewhere between a realist and an optimist.

A role model.

A homeschool teacher. She just learned “It hurts” in sign language today!

Sensitive.

Empathetic.

Intuitive.

Questioning – of myself. Always. Not good.

Intelligent.

Stubborn as hell. I’ll admit when I’m wrong. But first you have to convince me. Ha. Kidding. I usually see where I’m wrong (sometimes you have to point it out to me), and then I graciously step back and admit my faults. I’m stubborn in the sense that I go for what I want, full force. Mostly.

A thinker.

But mostly, I am Nothing – without He who made me.

…………

Dear Father,

Please help me to use the gifts you gave me for your Glory. Help me to remember my place in this world and help me impact others’ lives for the better. Use me to speak kind words to uplift others and to do your will. Whoever I am, whatever I shall be…help me to do it all to praise and glorify your Holy Name.

Amen.

Welcome back!

Calling all grandparents, parents, and those ttc – I need your help!

I’ve just been entered into a contest where I need 600 members in my lilaguide group by August 1.  So, here’s what I’m asking/begging/pleading:  Please go to this link:

http://www.lilaguide.com/groups/parents

If you aren’t signed up for lilaguide.com yet, you’ll have to do that first.  It’s super fast.  But, once you do that, come back and hit the link above (Actually, I think that link may prompt you to sign up if you arent already).  Just be SURE to sign up for the group, too!  Once you sign up, you can post (or not) – either way is okay – I just need 600 members!  And, to thank you, I will add your name to a special drawing.

Plus, if you get others to join and let me know they have, I’ll add your name for every person you invite that joins!  Cool, right?

Thank you!!

I should have known something was up – what, with my husband wanting to take me to an exotic locale on my dream vacation. I should have heard the money from my life insurance whispering in his ear – something about a new car he wants…and a motorcycle. I should of recognized it all when he suggested learning how to sail a mini-sailboat/raft-with-a-sail so we wouldn’t have a guide with us. So, we’d be. all. alone. in. the. ocean.

My story starts in the beautiful waters off of Montego Bay, where my husband was learning to sail our little raft-thing (because I don’t know what they are called). Our first outing alone went rather smoothly, with the guide on shore blowing his whistle as Steven did the training session (when the whistle blows you turn – every time). Finally, the guide lost interest in training us him and decided to go off to help another couple, who were still on land. We sailed around with no incident as my husband scoured the ocean for a perfect drop-off locale for my body we talked.

The next day, I opted out of raft-sailing, so we kayaked instead. My husband was perplexed that I had ruined his wonderful plans, so when I got a little feisty, saying I’d just jump out of the kayak if he didn’t stop, he said “Go ahead.” – Which resulted in a silent Ashley all the way back to shore…and then some (and a few dirty looks just to change things up a bit). Finally it hit him. He suggested we go out on the sail-raft so we could “talk”. Me – being the talker (meaning he’s not), should have seen a red flag. Instead? I climb onto the raft. Today, though, he took us farther out into the ocean – farther away from the watersports hut. We began to near one of the little piers, and as I knelt toward the center of the raft, ready to move to the other side for when the sail changed direction, he RAMMED the raft straight into the pier, saying “watch out” as I fell into the water. Head first. I came up, out of the water, sputtering for air. He saw me, and dissatisfied that I was still alive, tried to mow over me with the sail-raft. As I came up for a second time, he positioned the sail-raft 10 yards away and calls out to me “Hurry up. Before I sail blow away.” (Yes, that’s right. He wanted me to swim out TO him, the man that tried to kill me. Twice. And climb OUT of the water and onto a sail-raft that would surely tip over.)

Instead, I took off the Large (as they apparently didn’t intend to have XS sized guests at the resort) life jacket, and swam back to shore as the on-duty guard stared open-mouthed as he fumbled for his walky-talky. And, then…I walked back up the beach as my husband laughed his head off. I’m still contemplating the best method to dispose of his body.

Did you miss me?  Of course you did – and, we’re sticking with that.

Moving on.

Our trip was FANTASTIC.  Seriously, it was almost perfect… (perfect being ..well, PERFECT isn’t attainable…but this was pretty darn close).  And, because words alone wouldn’t suffice (that, and I’m excruciatingly tired), I’m going to show you in photographs.

My 2008 trip to Sandals (with Steven):

Our beautiful room.  For some reason, I was deathly afraid that we’d end up in a room with crazy multi-colored uglier-than-a-beach-in-hell room decor.  The stuff makes me want to vomit.  Fortunately, we were blessed with pleasant decor, and Ashley was VERY happy.

Our view, looking out our French doors of our room.  A few steps, and we’re on the beach.  It was frieggin’ awesome.

A fully stocked bar.  Although, I mostly drank “Wata.”  Despite what Steven says.

Our visit to the craft market….  one of the guys doing his thing…

Gettin’ crafty – Jamaican style…

Beautiful stuff, really…  But, this definitely was NOT fitting into my suitcase…

One of the market shops.  Imagine a whole line (and several rows) of shops like this…and you have yourself a craft market.  Spiffy, no?  Unfortunately, I did NOT find any fabric here.  A man did try to sell me some wraps that his “wife ” made in Jamaica.  Unfortunately for him, he forgot to remove the “Made in India” tags.

We got the chance to see Jamaican homes of all sizes, shapes…and colors.

Refreshing scenery.

A trip to the local school (in Hilton High)…

Children in uniform, playing…

…and singing to us….

Matching sundresses being made for Lorelei and myself…

Relaxed by the ocean, reading and listening to music…

More relaxing…

Learning and then playing giant chess…

Lovely views

So many places to relax and unwind…

Morning walks

Another Perspective…

Morning Me…

Making a sand sculpture for a contest…

Mommy and baby (sand) turtles

Watching the sunset together

Then, a candlelit private romantic dinner for two

You’d be smiling, too…

And, the last night there?  Dancing, of course.  Jamaican style – Where pelvic thrusting is par for the course.

I swear, I didn’t make this dance up.

I just might have some stories for you all later, but I wanted to share a few photographs with you now.  That, and tell you I’m BAAAAAAAAAACK!  Missed you all!

I’m leaving on a jet plane..   Don’t know when I’ll be back again…

Oh, wait yes I do.  Of COURSE I know…I’m the listmaker, remember?

I’m cleaning up, getting things ready…okay – ACTUALLY, I’m taking a break because I …um …was trying to wait and eat with Steven and I’m quite dizzy/weak/think I’m gonna puke.

And, for my lovely family (and friends)…sorry, but we won’t be taking phone calls while we’re gone.  This probably won’t be an issue at all though.  But, if you call us, even if it goes to voicemail, it costs $4 a minute.  EXACTLY.  So, you call us or send us gay text messages, you are so paying for them.  I’m not even joking.  One way or another.  And, if there’s an emergency, call my mom.  I’m stepping down from crisis negotiator for a bit, and she’s in charge.  She’ll talk to me for exactly 2 minutes every night (so I don’t have an ulcer/aneurism (sp?))…so if you have any news you need to get to us, tell her.

I love you all – and I’ll be back soon!

Final thoughts:  You know what’s annoying?  20 lb bags slamming down the stairwell into the living room.  I’m expecting hubs to be rolling down them any minute now.  Mostly because I pushed him.

Hi, my name is Ashley, and I’m addicted to learning new things.  I’ve been suffering for 22 years now, and I can’t stop.  Every year, it gets worse and worse.  I just can’t quit!  I get busy and stressed and yearn for rest, but what do I do?  I add more.

Yes.  I have a huge addiction.  Whether it’s learning a new skill or trying to turn out 10 crafts in a week, this MUST be an addiction.  I think I need to form a support group for people like me.  Wait, is there anyone like me?  lol.  Great.  I’m going to be a support group of 3.  Me. Myself. and I.

For the past 3 years, I’ve been saying I’d learn photography BETTER.  As in, learn every function on this stupidly awesome Digital Camera I have.  And, although I have attempted, I got discouraged quickly when my manual settings would end up giving me nothing but crap.  Blurred crap.  So, I went back to Auto.  But, that’s no longer good enough.

So, with only a few days away until my huge trip (JAMAICA!!), I’ve decided to have a crash course.  My teacher?  Me and a book.  The student?  My aching brain.  The time period?  Um…between naps, until Saturday.  And, it’s not going so well.  I’ve sent a few pleas out to some friends, but they are last minute, so I may leave with nothing.

There really must be something wrong with me.  Perfectionist Type A that has to know and be able to do it all.  It’s funny, when someone says “I want to be a….(wedding/events consultant, photographer, artist, seamstress, interior designer, actress…)”  My answer is…me too.  I want to be able to do it all…not for a living…but, if I want a photograph…I want to be able to produce it.  I want a new necklace?  I want to make it.  I want a sexy new dress?  I want to be able to make it.  And, for the most part…it’s all creative stuff (as in, I have no interest and stitching people up and all of that – Although, I think it’d be cool to be a teacher…if I could pick the kids (and their parents)…or get paid much more than teachers around here get paid).

So, yeh.  If you know how to work magic with your Canon EOS, shoot me an email please.  I need some serious help.

I recently found this super cool deal that was going on. Basically, you send in your vitamins (one bottle) – used…although at least a couple had to be left…and then, this company trades you your crap synthethic vitamins for FREE whole foods vitamin. Cool, huh? Um, $5 crap vitamins traded in for $50 valued whole foods vitamins. Duh. So, I traded in some prenatal vitamins I had…and had trouble stomaching. Yesterday, I get an email from the lady who’s heading up this trade-off. And, she sent me this link about my vitamins: Ashley’s Vitamins. They were prenatal vitamins from Walmart. No wonder why I couldn’t stomach them. Still think the government won’t let stores stock unsafe things on their shelves?

And, then…I found this cool site for your pleasure: http://www.folduscandidate.com/ Go on. You know you want to. Fold a US Pres. Candidate and have some fun.

…This is…besides the stuff I’ve already posted.  See, you guys have me all wrong…haha…the following has nothing to do with me or…me.  Haha.

The dress I made for Lorelei:  Mom came over this past weekend and helped me finish it up.  I get really lazy when it comes to pressing and ripping out seams..so she did that part.  And, very patiently, I might add!

And, then… A swap package I did (our theme was “Back to Nature” – basically, inspired by nature).  I finished this up early last week, but was waiting until she received it and posted pictures before I did – so as to not be a spoiler!

Here’s the package all-together…

And, what was in it:

A beaded dragonfly.  Because she likes dragonflies…and blues and greens. (And, I made the outside of the box, too).

2 Dragonfly Notecards and a set of 4 beaded magnets.   The magnets sort of remind me of seaglass.  And, I used water bottle tops, so see, I was recycling too!

3 Ribbons Roses.  They have wire in them, so she can arrange them wherever or attach them to things.  She likes roses.

A mobile.  The top is made with a “recycled” water bottle.  I trimmed it up in a wave pattern, and used a hot glue gun to round the edges out, so she wouldn’t cut herself.  And then, I painted it.  Hanging from the top piece are origami turtles in blues and greens.  She likes turtles, also.

The owl can.  I made these little guys and covered this Baby Formula can – Lorelei’s last formula can ever.  Sniff sniff.  I put her mobile in this can for safe travel.  And, I really have no clue if she likes owls…so I made them blue and green…did I mention she likes blue and green alot?  lol

A small painting of a dragonfly with acrylics (on canvas).

A wall hanging with 4 mini clothespins at the top for notes and small pictures to be displayed – and, two hooks at the bottom to hold bracelets, necklaces, keys, or whatever.

Then, this picture and the next one in a 4×6 clear, plastic frame with a magnet on the back – because I figured she could switch them out if she wanted…

And, here’s the swap all-together (minus the origami mobile):

MOVING ON, we have Grumpy, a toy I made for a 3 year old named Sam:  And, yes.  I know Grumpy is ugly.  He’s supposed to be.

Lastly, a card I made (4×4):

This town is cheap.  I just don’t HAVE the money.  There’s a difference.  I decided to be more proactive and call surrounding towns (I live in a VERY small place) and see if anyone even BOUGHT antique dining sets.  I had a list of over 20 antique stores in one city.  Guess what.  Apparently none of them buy anything.  Liars.  Apparently, they pray to the furniture god and get free furniture for their stores.  Liars.

And, then I called an auction house.  Have I mentioned how I hate liars?  And, I really don’t like people who bullshit and are so up on their ego that they KNOW they are right…and you are wrong.  So, I call this dude that does auctions (he’s not technically an auction house, I don’t think).  He said he’d give me $400 bucks for my set IF he bought stuff from that time period.  Meaning the 1920s.

$400 doesn’t sit well with me.  At all.  I’m not stingy, but I’m not stupid.  So, I started researching.  Turns out, what I have on my hands is an Art Deco set from the 1920s period.  The Art Deco stuff was started by Walter Gropius in Bauhaus in 1919 in response to all the frilly swirls going on (he was being a bit defiant) – SO, for the next 20 years, his style heavily impacted furniture in the US and Europe.  And, guess what?  I was just told by some “experts” in this field (of antiques) that not only is my set worth more a little more than $400…it’s actually worth 3 x my asking price.  Well, holy hell.

So, now…I’ve decided to let the dear state of New York (because I was told that Art Deco goes pretty fast there) know that I have this set and they can have it for the low low price of 1600$ – as long as they pay for it to be shipped wherever.  I’m really not stingy.  They can deliver it and still make quite a bit off of it if they chose to sell it.

*Sigh*

I’m a “grow your own tomatoes ” type of gal…but this town seems to be a “I want your tomatoes…for free” type of town.  And, yes.  I did just use a metaphor with tomatoes.  Leave me alone.